


RƎVO⅃UTION

by artemisiae



Series: RƎVO⅃UTION [1]
Category: Anonymous - Fandom, Faceless - Fandom, Spec op, Specops - Fandom, Tank - Fandom, alpha - Fandom, athena - Fandom, riot - Fandom, spec ops - Fandom
Genre: Blood and Injury, Consensual Sex, Discrimination, Eskimo Kisses, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Forehead Kisses, How Do I Tag, Humor, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Going to Hell, Kink, Kinks, Kinky, Kisses, LGBTQ, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Love, Misogyny, Morning Kisses, NSFW, Oral Sex, Picnic, Protests, Racism, Romance, Rough Sex, Sex, Sleepy Kisses, Slow Burn, Smut, Violence, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, meet the parents, relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 62,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemisiae/pseuds/artemisiae
Summary: Alice has been living in the U.S.A. for almost 6 months when the global pandemic of coronavirus struck the world. She's away from her family, only her cat to keep her company. A new episode of police brutality sparks up the revolution. There are protests in the streets and she decides to participate and show her support to the cause. There, after an accident, she meets a mysterious man.
Relationships: Reader x Riot, Reader x Spec Op, Reader x Spec Ops, Riot/Female Reader, Riot/Reader, SpecOps/Reader, Specops/Female
Series: RƎVO⅃UTION [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795768
Comments: 22
Kudos: 64





	1. Slumber

I always loved the feeling of unity I'd get when participating in protests: an enormous amount of people, each with different backgrounds and experiences, joining together to fight for the same purpose, feeling accepted and understood among complete strangers. It filled my heart with excitement and joy, finally being a part of a whole. It happened during my first pride last year, and whenever I'd participate in a Friday For Future when I was back in Europe.

Moving to the US had been one of my biggest dreams when I was a teenager, even though educating myself and staying informed about the terrible things that were actually happening there completely changed my mind about it. The election of a president that brought the country back of a few centuries made my blood boil, it was unacceptable to me; I saw videos on social media of that orange pig harassing women, mocking disabled people, saying horrible things about the LGBTQ+ community and discriminating whoever wasn't a rich white straight cis man. The news wouldn't talk about it as much as these questions really deserved, but thanks to platforms on the internet people were speaking up and calling him out: putting kids in cages, wanting to build a wall to prevent Mexicans from entering the country he just started leading, not banning weapons though the news were flooded with reports of shootings in schools and clubs.

Despite all of these things, I was genuinely happy when I won a scholarship that gave me the opportunity to attend the Department of Art and Art History of Georgetown University, so after endless pieces of advice from my overprotective parents and friends, I got on that plane, scared but thrilled to start a new life there.

Settling down in the new apartment wasn't hard and it quickly felt like home, but I was taking my time adjusting to this kind of lifestyle. Sure, I made a few friends on campus and we sometimes hung out, but self-isolation due to the coronavirus outbreak was making things a little too hard. If it weren't for my newly adopted cat, Frida, I wouldn't know where I'd be.

So here I was, 6 months into my new life, sitting on my couch in my little cocoon of an apartment, cuddling Frida while she laid on my lap, bored out of my mind whilst feeling guilty knowing there are people out there fighting for their lives, others working hard to save theirs. Life seemed to be put on hold, everything stuck. I decided to play my favourite playlist and spend some time scrolling down Twitter. Suddenly I was struck by a horrible video, the umpteenth example of police brutality against the black community. The police officer was pinning the black man - George Floyd, the caption said - to the ground, pushing his knee on the poor man's neck. He was begging him to get off, saying he couldn't breathe, yet the officer did nothing but put his hands in his pockets while he was screaming in pain and calling for his mother.

I was shocked, heartbroken and furious. It wasn't the first time I saw a video of this type sadly, but this one really hurt me deeply. I saw more and more tweets about the same topic and understood the issue was getting really big. In the next few days I signed petitions and shared them trying to spread awareness, but I sensed it wasn't enough as soon as the first protests started, and decided to participate to the one scheduled for the next day.

I packed my backpack with water, a spare face mask and some snacks, and after pouring some water and extra treats for Frida in case I'd get back home late, I headed to the protest.

It wasn't like the ones I had been to, sure the feeling of unity and the excitement was there, but everyone was sad, mourning, furious with the police and this fucked up system, seeking change. 

The crowd alternated chanting "No Justice, No Peace" and "I Can't Breathe" in unison, so loud the voices made my bones vibrate, it was overwhelming and moving. The protest was pretty pacific though I could see some people were mocking the police, and I hoped with all of myself the cops wouldn't get too irritated because I saw videos of people being brutally arrested or attacked with tear gas.

A black woman beside me started arguing with what I realised was an undercover officer: suddenly he was pushing her and trying to pin her to the ground while a group of kids tried to help the woman. In a moment, the kids violently pushed the officer right in my direction, his body slamming against me as I fell to the ground unconscious.

I felt two fingers to my neck, right under my jaw, heard noise and screams all around me, but as much as I wanted to stay awake, get up and fight the officer with my own hands I really couldn't keep my eyes open, no matter how hard I tried.

A presence towering over me, two strong arms around my back and under my legs, I felt weightless and stuck in a weird slumber.


	2. Window

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: wound and blood mention

When I came to I felt comfortable blankets under me. My whole body was sore and I felt as if I had gotten in a bad accident. Struggling to open my eyes, I panicked not recognising the dark place I was in: I instinctively brought my hands to my lips gasping, trying to remember what happened to me.

The protest. People all around me chanting. The woman being attacked by the officer. Nothing more.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I slightly moved my head around analysing the room: the door was slightly ajar, shedding a low light in; there were a window and a desk not far from the bed and I could see weird military sketches and sheets full of numbers hanging on the walls as if they were posters. I started panicking even more, _what if I had been kidnapped? What if it was an officer? Or a soldier? Whose house is this? Are they going to hurt me?_

I sat on the bed slowly, trying not to make any sound though my heart was drumming in my ears. I went by the near window, slightly moving the heavy dark curtains, to study a way of getting out: the sky was pitch black, making me wonder how long I had been sleeping. Luckily there was a fire escape right outside the window.

It was now or never: my hands started shaking as a rush of adrenaline mixed with anxiety gave me physical pain, while I tried to sense the handle to unlock the window. I couldn't tell if I was weak from whatever happened at the protest or if it was broken, but when I finally managed to move the handle, the window opened with a loud crack.

I heard heavy footsteps coming my way and I panicked even harder as a tall, manly masked figure came my way.

"Hey you're awa- what are you doing?" he questioned worriedly as I climbed on the window sill. "You're going to get hurt, the stairs aren't safe!" he shouted as I felt his strong hands clutching my waist, trying to pull me back into the room. I fought and scratches at his hands only to realise he was wearing gloves.

"I'm not going to hurt you, I saved you from the-" I elbowed at his helmet, registering his words only as he was letting go of me. _He saved me?_ I stopped fighting and turned around to see him slightly bent, painfully touching about where I'd imagine his nose to be behind the helmet.

"You saved me? What happened? Did I hurt you?"

"Damn girl, I didn't think I could ever get hurt with this helmet on and yet..." he groaned in pain.

I immediately felt bad, muttering some apologies as I noticed the Anonymous patch on his chest. "Are you a member of Anonymous? Is your nose okay?" I asked as I carefully paced towards him.

"Slow down with the questions, I can't even think." he chuckled as he sat on the bed where I was sleeping earlier, flicking his long dreadlocks out of the way. _Good sign, right? Maybe he wasn't in so much pain after all._

"I am a member of Anonymous, I was at the protest to intimidate the pigs when I saw an undercover one being shoved to the ground by some kids who were helping a woman. Unfortunately, you were right there when they pushed him and the next thing I saw was you falling to the ground unconscious. I assumed you went to the protest alone because the few people who stopped and carried you to the sidewalk told me they didn't know you... I couldn't just leave you there so here we are in my apartment."

"How long have I been sleeping?" I asked, still trying to catch my breath and register every word he was saying.

"A couple hours, I guess? How is your head feeling?" he moved his head to the side, pointing somewhere at my right.

I brought a hand to my right temple, suddenly aware of how painful it was, and winced feeling the scratches under my fingertips. _God, I must have looked horrible._

"What about your nose?" I asked quickly, suddenly remembering I wasn't the only one injured.

He moved his helmet up a little bit to remove the face mask he was wearing under it, a few trickles of blood running down his lips and chin.

My eyes went wide, I kneeled on the ground to take a better look at it though he was much taller than me even while sitting.

"What's that look on your face, sweetheart?" he giggled.

"Y-You're bleeding! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you," I was stammering and nervously fidgeting with the rings on my fingers. "If you take your helmet off I can try and stop the bleeding."

"I'm actually supposed to keep my identity hidden, I'll be fine and you don't need to worry about it."

"God, you helped me and I hurt you?? Please let me take care of it, it's the least I could do. Besides why would I leak your identity and put you in danger when you have been nothing but sweet to me?"

"Sweet?" he smirked.

I was suddenly conscious of how attractive the man in front of me was: perfect teeth, plump lips, a light stubble over his chin and jaw. In that moment there was nothing I wanted more than to peel his helmet off and discover what he looked like under it.

He put a finger under my chin, lifting my head a little. "Promise you're not going to tell a soul about this?"


	3. Broken noses and scratches

"I promise." butterflies stormed in my stomach as I tried to keep myself together and give him a little smile.

He held out his strong hand so I could stand up, and guided me to the bathroom flicking the light on. I squinted my eyes, not used to so much light, and realised he was much taller than I was even imagining. He was wearing what seemed to be a full riot gear with a tactical vest, shoulder and elbow protectors and a GoPro camera on top of his helmet. I looked at it wondering if it was recording. He read my mind. "Don't worry, it's not on. I only use it for documentation when I'm out at the protests." he laughed, seemingly amused by the look I had on my face. He slid his gloves off, revealing the big, strong hands that held me earlier that day. I smiled when I noticed he had his nails painted black. "What's so funny, sweetie?" I shook my head and I could tell he was grinning behind the helmet even though I couldn't see him. "Ready for the big reveal?" he spoke with a funny voice, sounding like a television host.

"Uh-huh." I chuckled.

He brought his hands to each side of the helmet, sliding it off. Long wavy strands of dark hair fell down the sides of his face, a thin layer of sweat plastering a few of them to his forehead. His eyes were the prettiest shade of green, his eyelashes long. Freckles painted a whole galaxy of stars on his brown skin. I was mesmerised by his eyes for what seemed to be an infinite half-minute before his chuckle snapped me out of my trance. I looked at his nose, swollen and still bleeding a little. I quickly got some paper towel, soaking it with the blood that was on the space between his nose and mouth, careful not to hurt him again.

"Do you have ice by any chance?" I asked as I struggled to keep my arm so high to reach his face.

"Yep, in the freezer," he looked down at me, moving a strand of fringe out of my face, careful not to touch my scratches. "You know, you looked so harmless as I disinfected your wound earlier, I would have never imagined the first thing you'd do after waking up was breaking my nose"

 _The scratches._ I quickly looked at my reflection in the mirror, moving some strands of hair away from my forehead. It didn't look that bad, but it was probably because he already disinfected it. The thought of him delicately taking care of my wound made me smile inside. I turned back to him.

"Do you think it's broken?" I started feeling even worse, _that's a good way of thanking someone, isn't it Alice?_ He nodded, slightly hissing in pain as he touched the bridge of his nose. I quickly glanced around the kitchen for the freezer, got the ice and walked back into the bathroom to find him with his dreadlocks in his hands. "Wait, are they fake?"

"Yes, a little trick to protect our identities and make sure we're confusing the pigs." he had a grin on his face as he was tying his hair up in a bun. He had a piercing on his left earlobe that made him even more attractive, highlighting his strong, angular jaw.

"Brilliant idea." I said, handing him the ice. "I think we need to go to the hospital to get your nose checked."

"We?!" he exclaimed, flirty. "Hey it's going to be fine, broken noses usually heal on their own if they're not in a bad shape."

"I insist, I want to make sure your nose is going to be okay." He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, pondering my last words, then booped the tip my nose with his forefinger, smiling. "You win."

I smiled shyly as he started peeling off his arm protectors and vest. He looked quite muscular under his black t-shirt, a few tattoos with interesting designs covering his forearms and what I could see of his biceps. My eyes went back to his large hands and the black nail polish at the end of his long fingers.

"Thirsty?"

My eyes went wide. "W-What?"

"Are you thirsty? You haven't had any water in hours." I could tell he was teasing me by the corners of his lips refraining a smirk.

"Uh yeah kind of." He guided me to his kitchen, took a glass out of the cupboard, filled it with fresh water and handed it to me.

"Make yourself at home, I'm going to get changed before we leave."

"Thanks." I smiled at him, our fingers making contact as I took the glass in my hands. I took in as many details as possible wandering around the big room. The warm light was filling every corner, a comfy black sofa was sitting on a fluffy beige rug, there were a few nicely kept plants and frames on the cream coloured walls. I analysed a couple of them, recognising a younger version of the mysterious man and a woman who resembled him in every feature, probably his mum. I took a sip of water feeling reborn and caught a quick glimpse of the tall figure in the bathroom, half-naked as he was about to put a white cotton t-shirt on. He had tattoos on his chest too and he looked quite fit. My breath caught in my throat and I coughed instinctively.

"You okay out there?" he asked as he was sliding his shirt on.

Gulping down another sip, I told him I was fine pretending I wasn't looking his way.

"Ready to go?" he had my backpack in his hands, the excitement in his voice made me feel like we had been knowing each other for years.


	4. Truce

I grabbed my backpack smiling at him as he opened the door for us and locked it with his keys, guiding me to the parking lot. I offered to drive and he quickly complied after arguing that I hit my head on the pavement just a few hours earlier but realising I had to be in a good shape to elbow someone that hard. I was secretly hoping he'd say no for it was years since the last time I drove and just the thought gave me anxiety, so I tried to relax and drive as slowly and carefully as I could, following his instructions.

"So, what's up with your cute accent?" I felt his eyes scanning me for an answer before I could give it myself. I lightly snorted.

"I'm Italian."

"You're from Italy?? Where's your Mario accent?"

"Stereotypes, big man... And years of watching foreign movies and tv shows."

He laughed at the nickname "Well, it's hot."

"What is? Watching movies and tv shows?" I teased, his eyes on me making my heart flutter.

"Nope, your accent princess," I tried so hard to keep it together and not smile at his flirtatious tones, but I'm not sure I succeeded. "By the way, I'm only going to get my nose checked if you'll get your forehead checked too." I rolled my eyes but ultimately agreed with him.

We soon got to the hospital; the waiting room was packed with people, most of them probably injured during the protests. It made me incredibly mad, these people were only trying to peacefully fight for their long-overdue rights to... Live? Breathe? Walk? Drive? It was insane to me, _where is humanity? Aren't we living in the 21st century?_

I was checking my phone and texting my family when the nurse came our way. "Are you two together?"

"Yes." he said with a grin on his face before I could even register the woman's words, quickly glancing my way to see my reaction. "We were at the protest when things got a little heavy, she was knocked unconscious after being pushed to the ground by an officer and when I tried to help her... Well, I think he broke my nose." he moved the almost completely melted ice away from his face as I disguised my chuckle by clearing my throat. The nurse walked away saying they'd shortly take care of us.

"Thanks for that." I nudged his arm and chuckled.

"Easy with those elbows, sweetie." he laughed, but his comment only resulted in me nudging his arm again.

All of a sudden he turned to me and started tickling my soft, chubby side. I jumped in my seat, trying not to laugh hysterically, fighting to get his hands off of me. I grasped one of them and held it so he couldn't tickle me anymore: it felt so soft against my own, his smile so big my heart started pounding in my chest. As much as I didn't want to let go of his hand, I twisted it.

"Truce!" he loudly whispered. "You have to be the most ticklish person I've ever met" I let go of his hand and laughed under my breath. He was looking at his wrist. "I'm all for strong, badass women, but where did you learn those moves?"

"I took a self-defence course a couple of years ago, you never know what could happen..." I said proudly. "So, tell me something about yourself." I inquired the mysterious man sitting beside me.

"I was born in this very hospital about 25 years ago, I never met my father and my mother is basically the most important person in my life."

"That's cute." I quickly glanced at him from the corner of my eye, catching a glimpse of his smile as he was staring at his fingers. "I saw some pictures in your living room, you two look exactly the same." he smiled at me and nodded.

"Anything else you want to know?" I was just about to ask something when the nurse called us in. An hour later we were in the parking lot, insanely tired.

"What's the plan now? Do you want me to take you home?" he asked. We were sitting in the car with a strange, loud silence. I nodded and sighed.

"Way too tired to go party now." he laughed quietly and I gave him instructions to get to my apartment.

"Why the hell did you decide to move to this shit country?" he asked.

"Honestly, it wasn't in my plans at all. Well, my younger self would have loved to live here, I was influenced by the image that's given to us by the media: «America, where dreams come true». Growing up I totally changed my mind, especially during the last four years..."

"What then? Did you move here for love or what?" he said it lightly but I could sense he was testing the waters.

"Kind of." I smiled to myself, almost drifting off to sleep. "I won a scholarship, I study and make art sometimes. I moved here around 6 months ago."

"Nice!" he seemed genuinely impressed. "Family and friends back at home?"

"Yep, luckily they're all fine. The pandemic hit really hard over there and being away from them is the hardest thing right now."

"It must be really stressful for you." he sighed, touching my shoulder with his hand as to relieve my stress, taking advantage of a red light.

"It is." I stared in his green eyes and smiled. He drove as soon as the reflection of the light on our faces turned green and I saw him clench his jaw.

"Boyfriends or girlfriends over there?" he clutched at the steering wheel.

I snorted. "Nope." we finally reached my place. It was half-past midnight and the moon was up in the sky.

"Want to come up?"


	5. Good night

"There's someone I want you to meet." 

He smiled curiously as we entered the elevator. I was suddenly aware of our height difference, I literally had to look up to glance at his attractive face, a small plaster covering his slightly bruised nose. "I didn't hurt you that much then, short man."

"I told you I was going to be okay, tall girl." he towered over me. We both laughed as the elevator dinged; he followed me with his hands in his pockets, waiting for me to open the door.

Frida welcomed us with the loudest meow ever. 

"Hello, my baby! I missed you so much." I crouched as she climbed in my arms and turned to him. "This is Frida." his smile was so big as he slightly bent down and held out a hand for her to acknowledge him and nuzzle her cute head into his fingers. His long, soft fingers. "I think she likes you." I kissed her head and moved so he could enter the house. "Welcome to my crib, make yourself at home."

I could tell he was analysing my apartment, probably wondering how I got so many plants in just a few months. 

"I have some leftover lasagne I made yesterday mostly out of boredom, hungry?" his eyes turned dark for a moment, he was staring at me up and down as I washed my hands before taking the lasagne out of the fridge and heating them in the oven. "You okay?"

"Yes, yes" I snapped him out of whatever thoughts he was having. "Just really tired."

"Sit on the sofa, I promise Frida won't bite you even if that's her favourite spot." he sat down and cuddled her a little, chuckling at her playful attitude. Soon after, I brought two glasses and cutlery to the coffee table, followed by the plates. I watched for his reaction as he took the first bites.

"This is the best lasagna I've ever tasted in my life." he looked satisfied and surprised. "Also, one day you'll have to teach me the correct pronunciation."

"You're welcome." I laughed as I zapped through some tv channels, not finding anything interesting.

He stretched his torso and arms after finishing his plate and yawned soon after.

"It's really late, do you want to stay here for the night?" his eyes shot up at mine. 

"Are you sure? I don't want to disturb you."

"Sorry? The only thing that disturbed me was that tickle thing you did at the hospital" we laughed, locking eyes like we just hypnotised each other. "I don't like thinking of you being out there with everything that's happening." I glanced around the room, suddenly feeling shy for exposing myself so much. "I have some fresh towels in the bathroom if you want to take a shower, take all the time you need."

"Thank you, really." he had a grateful look on his face as he stood up, came closer to me and lifted my head up with a finger under my chin. "What about clothes? I kinda doubt you have something my size." he lightly brushed his thumb on my bottom lip, my heart jolting in my chest. 

"I'll surprise you." I headed to the closet, taking out the biggest t-shirt I owned and a pair of grey joggers.

He came out of the bathroom wearing the outfit I picked for him; I studied his figure from head to toe: wet, long hair framing his beautiful face, t-shirt fitting him just perfectly; we both laughed so hard once my eyes reached his shins, my joggers being way too short for him. 

I dragged my body to the bathtub, flicking the hot water on seeking some relief for my sore muscles. The thought of him being in the other room filled my mind and made my heart pound in my ears as I imagined holding his hands again, his eyes and big lips stuck on my mind.

I wore the first pair of shorts I found, a big, comfy t-shirt and headed to the bedroom, finding him already snoozing on my bed.

I got a blanket to tuck him in, filled Frida's water and treats' bowls, gave her a quick peck on her head and headed to bed, switching the lights off.

"Good night, Alice." he muttered, reaching for my body under the blanket.

"Good night, big man." I smiled, figuring he'd have read my name under the doorbell or on one of my paintings.

I couldn't fall asleep for another hour despite how tired I was. I had no idea if I'd ever see him again after this, he might even head out while I'm still asleep, but I was sure hoping he wouldn't. A wave of sadness washed over me, but I remembered I should be living in the moment: he was right there, his arm around my waist, the other hugging the pillow, a pure expression on his face, framed by his still damp, dark hair. His scent filled my lungs as I slowly drifted off to sleep.


	6. Delicious

The sun shone, filling the room and tapping at my eyelids for me to wake up. I could feel his arm still around my waist and I immediately smiled realising he was still there with me. I looked at his hand, delicately touching his fingertips with my own. I wanted so bad to hold his hand, but I was too afraid I'd wake him up.

I rolled on my back to see Frida joined us, sleeping in the space between our pillows. She purred at me and I cuddled her a little, then I climbed out of bed making sure I wouldn't wake up the giant sleeping next to me.

I closed the door a little behind me, leaving space in case the cute cat wanted to follow me, and headed to the kitchen. I decided to make some coffee and pancakes with Nutella and play my favourite playlist, keeping the volume down not to disturb the sleepy heads.

I don't know why or what exactly made me so happy, but I felt recharged with a new kind of energy, like I finally had some purpose again in life. Self-isolation drained me so much that I thought I would never be able to talk to a stranger again, yet here I was, spending hours with someone I had just met, whose name I didn't know, and even sleeping in the same bed as him.

I was so happy I started humming and dancing to the songs as if I were alone in the house, occasionally flipping pancakes and dipping a finger in Nutella to shut my growling stomach up.

"Delicious." I felt an arm around me, a warm hand on the back of my neck, massaging my tense muscles. His morning voice, low and raspy, sent shivers down my spine and part of me hoped he couldn't sense it.

I looked up at him, smiling. "Pancakes with Nutella and coffee."

"Wasn't only talking about breakfast." a smirk on his sleepy face. 

I tapped at his chest, feeling the firm muscle under my fingertips. I felt my heart drum louder and louder when we locked eyes, time seemed to stop. We were interrupted by a loud meow as Frida entered the kitchen, making us both snort lightly.

"Morning to you too, cutie." he said. She circled around our legs, rubbing upon them as he bent down to pet her head.

"How did you sleep in my perfectly fitting clothes?" I peeked at his naked shins and laughed lowly, then poured some coffee in two cups.

"Better than I thought I would, maybe I should try shopping in the woman section more often." he joked, winking up at me. I shook my head as I leaned on the kitchen counter, handing him a cup of coffee and taking a sip from my own.

"Okay, that's so good but also much stronger than any coffee I've ever had in my life." the expression on his face made me laugh so hard and the fact that he was now sitting on the hardwood didn't help: he looked like a kid tasting lemon for the first time in his life. We finished our breakfast chit-chatting.

"What are your plans for the day?" I asked, trying to play it cool and not to reveal the sadness that was suddenly washing over me again at the thought we could have said goodbye right there.

"Another day, another protest. You sweetie?" he scanned my face, seeing something was off.

"I'm not going to lie, protests kind of scare me right now. I got knocked unconscious barely realising what was even happening around me." he chuckled at my sceptical face.

"What's so funny?" I tried not to laugh, his giggle being more contagious than I wanted to admit.

He stepped closer to me, squeezing my face with his large hand. "You're going to be okay if you stay close to me, I'll protect you. Not that you really need someone to protect you anyway..." he motioned to his nose. I wanted nothing more than to hold him and bury my head in his chest. We decided to get ready to go back at his place. He stepped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom where I was dressing up, just jeans and a black sports bra on.

"Oops, sorry I thought you were ready." he went to head out. 

"It's fine, you can stay." I fought the urge to cover my body up, tired of all those years spent hiding it because of beauty standards and mean comments.

"I like confidence." he came closer to me to then plunk down on the bed, smirking as he watched my body while I fastened a necklace. I had butterflies in my stomach feeling his eyes roaming around my body. "It's hot."

"It better be, it took me ages to feel this way." I tried to sound flirty and sure of myself, but the echo of my own voice was miserable and it was reverberating through the room. I hated that it still happened.

He reached for my hand giving me a soft smile. "You're beautiful."

I couldn't help but smile and squeeze his hand. "Thank you." I replied, not for the compliment but for the fact that he managed to bring me back to a happy mood. "I just wish that I knew the name of the guy who just saw me half-naked, you know?" 

He laughed lightly. "You can call me Riot for now."


	7. Dangerous

"What a nickname for such a softie." I teased him, waiting for his reaction.

"Softie?" he stood up clenching his jaw, towering over me with an intimidating look. "You haven't seen me on the field."

I bit my lip looking at him through my lashes. Something in his tone made me burn inside. "All right, big man. I'm looking forward to seeing you on the field then."

We headed out, taking turns in petting and kissing Frida's head.

His place wasn't that far from mine, about a 10 minutes car ride. His apartment already seemed so familiar to me, natural light now flooding the main rooms. There was a punching bag on the terrace, a few plants and a couple of little outdoor sofas around a plastic table.

I leaned against the door of his bedroom as he was carefully choosing his gear. The dark filling the room the previous night hid from me the endless pieces of technology on the desk near his bed. There were many I had never seen in my life and it all sparked a loud curiosity in me.

"Did you rob a tech shop or something?" I pointed at the equipment. Puzzled, he followed the direction of my finger.

"Remember my patch?" he smiled.

"Of course I do Mr Serious, I was just joking." I paced towards the military sketches that struck me soon after waking up on his bed, analysing them. "Did you draw these?"

"Yep, I was the one to come up with the idea." he sounded a little nervous. "Do you like it?"

"Mhm, it's really nicely done" I turned to him as he was putting on his vest, then his shoulders and arms protectors. It all accentuated each of his features, making him look like a superhero. "It fits you really well, you know?"

He smirked at me. "Does it?"

"I can already see a little bit more of that guy you introduced me to half an hour ago. Riot." As soon as it left my lips, the name resonated in my mind for longer than I wanted it to, my brain repeating it over and over again.

He put an olive coloured scarf on, his fake dreadlocks, a clean face mask, then it was time for his huge helmet. He then attached a gas mask to his side and a pair of what seemed to be fireproof gloves on the back.

"Ready to go, princess?" He might have looked like a whole different person, but his flirtatious ways were still present.

"Ready if you are, superhero." I could tell he was grinning behind all of his masks.

We parked in an unmonitored parking lot to make sure it would be safer. The atmosphere in the car was really tense.

"I know I'm probably not supposed to ask but... What is it you guys do exactly?"

"It depends on what you're asking. Here at the protests me and my team intimidate the pigs and help harmless people."

"You thought I was harmless huh?" I tried to break the tension, getting a laugh in return.

"Oh you were in that moment, sweetie. That pig made you pass out on the fucking pavement. Excuse my language." his politeness made me smile.

"What's the plan?" I turned to him.

"We stay close, but not too much. We must be discreet or-"

"Is it dangerous?"

"It could be, for both of us if we don't pay attention. If I get caught my team has a backup plan, but if you get caught and they think we're affiliated, they'd probably question you about me and I- I really don't want that to happen." I nodded. "Chin up, pretty. If anything like that happened I would talk to my team and we'd figure something out. For now, we just have to be careful, keep an eye out for each other and mingle with the crowd." his words made me smile.

"Let's fight the system and intimidate the pigs." I grinned at him.

"That's my girl." his finger grazed my cheek; mixed with the words he just spoke, they ignited something in me.

We approached the protest as he was putting his gloves on. The streets weren't crowded at this time in the morning, but there were still many people and everything seemed pacific. I opted to stay a few meters behind Riot, on the other side of the street. I saw him stop to talk to a group of people and, curious, I carefully and slowly approached them.

"I ended up going fucking viral on Sunday. Sorry, excuse my language. There's a bunch of names floating around." he seemed to look in my direction.

"Spec Op." said a man.

"Spec Op, yeah that's one of them." the amusement in his voice made my heart flutter.

"Master Chief." said another man.

"Master Chief." he repeated.

Master Chief. Spec Op. Riot. _Who knew I had been saved by a person who's famous on the Internet?_ I even welcomed him in my house, we slept in the same bed, had breakfast together. I carefully studied his every gesture. I could see he was at ease talking to people, fake dreadlocks falling at the sides of his vest, his strong hands confidently gesturing as he explained his points of view, index finger effortlessly pushing up the GoPro camera on top of his helmet so it would be out of the way.

Behind my face mask I was smiling at his whole being, enjoying every movement and every word that left his lips, my heart pounding in my chest once again.


	8. Riot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: police brutality, injury, blood and pain

The protest started getting crowdier after lunchtime; I could spot undercover officers a mile away, with their arrogant attitude, vests under their shirts, armbands with which they could recognise each other and sometimes even handcuffs in their back pockets. _Do they think we're stupid?_

I'd sometimes see Riot turning around searching for me through the crowd, giving me a thumbs-up asking if everything was okay; I mirrored his gesture smiling at him though he couldn't see it, half of my face covered by my face mask. It was just so nice to know that somebody was there looking out for me, it made me feel safe.

There were people of any age, gender and background holding signs denouncing discrimination and demanding equality, seeking justice for George Floyd and the countless people whose lives had been lost due to police brutality: Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Tamir Rice, Tony McDade and so many others. Some signs recited their last words or described the last moments of their lives, instants of pure terror. My heart was in so much pain, nobody deserves to go through that. _Why were these things still happening?_ Without even noticing tears streamed down my face.

Sometimes people would gather around a small group of activists who would take turns and talk through the bullhorn. Their stories were powerful, demanding of change, hope stronger than ever in their voices though 400 years of systemic oppression and discrimination.

I felt a familiar gloved hand on my upper back, warmth spreading through the fabric, reaching my hoodie and skin. "Everything okay?" he bent down to reach my ear, his voice deep and reassuring.

"Yeah, I'm just moved and really angry." I wiped the tears under my eyes. "Shouldn't we keep distance?"

"Not my fault you make it so hard, sweetie." I could tell he was smirking behind his armour. I reached for his arm and squeezed it a little, slightly leaning against his tall figure, eyes closed. We stayed like that for a couple of minutes before he pulled the black hoodie up over my head. "Just to be safer." he booped my nose over my face mask and moved away from the crowd that gathered around the activists. I followed him soon after, noticing he was waiting for me.

The sky was getting darker as we were a few blocks away from the barricade near the White House.  
A line of police officers stopped us near Lafayette Square, not letting the crowd continue their way. Opposite to them, a long line of white people formed a barrier to protect black protesters from the police. I stood there with them, shivers all over my body seeing so many people showing support.

A black girl, around 13 years old, decided to step up with her hands up, stopping halfway between us and the officers. Tension filled the air, all eyes on every move the heartless people opposite to us were doing.

One of them paced towards her, he seemed to be talking to her but their voices were incomprehensible to us. Suddenly he pepper-sprayed her right in her face. None of us could believe it, the crowd started roaring insults at them, some threw water bottles.

It was complete chaos. I lost sight of Riot though he wasn't far from me just a few moments earlier.  
The girl was carried behind the human barrier: I tried to comfort her, holding her from behind as other people sprayed milk on her maced face, her eyes shut tight as she was screaming and crying in pain.

I heard a shot. Then another. Protesters started retreating, screaming, pushing each other to try and get to safety. I felt an excruciating pain on my left knee and shouted in distress. I looked down at it, trying to shelter the poor girl with my back. The rubber bullet grazed and shredded my jeans apart, my wounded skin showing. I bit my lip trying to contain the pain that was making my skin throb. I asked someone if they could take over and hold the girl.  
I sat down on the sidewalk, a girl asking if I was okay. I nodded though I could barely contain the tears. I was shaking, feeling the first signs of an anxiety attack.

The girl sat down next to me. "I'm Maddy, I'm a medic, rubber bullet?"

"Hi Maddy, yeah." I was breathing as deeply as I could, trying to keep still and not panic more.

"Can I take a look at it?" she seemed sure of herself, her voice wise though her face showed a really young woman. Blue eyes, goggles on her forehead, a colourful face mask covering the bottom half of her face. "I know you're scared but you're going to be okay, keep breathing deeply."

I nodded, grimacing what was supposed to be a smile.

"You're lucky, the wound isn't deep so you won't need to go to the hospital it seems. Is it okay if I pour a little water on it? It's just in case some shredded pieces of fabric made it into the wound."

"Tear gas!" someone shouted, running our way to get to safety.

"Yes, thank you for your help, Maddy. My name is Alice."

"Nice to meet you Alice. Once you get home you should try and clean it with soap and water, even better with alcohol. It's going to hurt like hell but it will make sure your wound is disinfected." She sat back down near me on the sidewalk, closing her water bottle and replacing it in her big backpack. "It could hurt a lot after, if that's the case you can treat it with an antibiotic cream."

"That's really helpful, thank you so much" I smiled at her, grateful for her tips.  
She took a sip of water from another water bottle. "Hey, look at that."   
She pointed at what was happening at the barricade.

It looked like a movie scene. Gas everywhere, people running back towards us, some kicking tear gas canisters back to the police. And then I saw him: Riot was right there, wearing his yellow fireproof gloves, picking up canisters and throwing them back at the pigs with his own hands. His strength expressed all of his rage, long dreads bouncing at every movement. I was speechless, trying to join the two faces of the same man: the one tickling me at the hospital, taking care of me, sleeping with an arm over my waist in a protective way, and the one right here, risking his life for his community and to fight injustice, forcefully throwing tear gas grenades as if they were basketballs.

He was right about his nickname after all.


	9. More

He backed away when he saw the officers finished their canisters pile, jogging a little and occasionally asking people if they were okay, helping some stand up. He looked a little lost, turning left and right before spotting me. I waved at him shyly, a strange feeling filling my head. He was more intimidating than I cared to admit now that I saw him in action, though I knew he would never hurt me.

"Hey, what happened to your knee?"

"Rubber bullet." replied Maddy.

"Damn, you can't stop getting hurt, huh?" he crouched down, examining my wound.

"You know him?" Maddy turned to me, surprise in her tone.

"Yep, giant man helped me yesterday, I was knocked to the ground by an undercover pig." he seemed distracted, not catching on the new nickname I gave him, pressing a finger to his ear instead.

"My team said the pigs just declared a curfew, we need to get in a safe place as soon as possible or they'll arrest us all. I fucking hate these bastards- Excuse my language, I'm just mad." despite the gear, his good manners made him adorable. "Are you able to walk?"

"I- I don't know, I haven't tried standing up yet."

He stood up and offered me his hand. Maddy did the same and I tried to suffocate the pain by breathing deeply and heavily. After a few metres, I realised I could walk on my own, though limping a little.

"Thank you so much, Maddy. Do you have a safe place to get to?" I asked.

"My friends are probably waiting for me, we put up a small medic centre to help all the people who get injured so I guess I'll go there and spread the word about the curfew." I nodded and smiled at her before giving her a hug.

"Do you trust this man?" she asked, muffling her voice once she was near my ear.

"I do, you saw what he did back at the barricade." she pulled away, smiling at me while saying our goodbyes.

"I leave you for 5 minutes and you get a girlfriend?" Riot teased me, resulting in me snorting lightly.

"Ooh, is someone jealous?" I teased back.

"I don't exactly recall receiving a hug after helping you."

"I do recall you hugging me in your sleep though."

"Did- did I?" I could sense he was nervous. I looked up at him with a satisfied grin and nodded. "I didn't mean to touch you inappropriately, I'm so sorry-" I saw him clenching his fist.

"Stop apologising, it was cute and not inappropriate. You looked like a 7-year-old with his teddy bear."

"Do I look like a 7-year-old now?" his tone changed completely, now confident and teasing, stopping in my way and tilting his head to the side. If it wasn't for his helmet and our face masks I swear I would have kissed him right there, uncaring of whatever was happening around us. Instead, I took him by the arm and kept limping my way back to the car.

He held the door and helped me get in my seat, then he got in and drove back to his apartment. As soon as we were in, I let myself fall on the armchair near the big sofa, exhausted by the events of the day, finally taking off the face mask that made it hard for me to breathe. He walked in front of me, quickly removing his helmet and face mask, as well as his arm protectors, analysing my expression.

"Okay stay right here, I'm quickly going to google «how to look beautiful even when you're fatigued» and then we'll find something to disinfect your wound with." he had a loud smirk on his face, his words made my heart flutter once again.

"Maddy said I should use water and soap, or alcohol if it was available." he left the room to get a few bandages and alcohol, then kneeled in front of me. I sensed he was about to say something mean about the woman who helped me earlier so I kept talking to shut him up. "About the google search, I think you should ask it to yourself." his smile grew bigger, his eyebrows raised in amazement.

"Touché." he delicately touched the sides of my knee, careful not to hurt me. Having him there, so close to me, his big hands on my thigh, drove me crazy, a thousand thoughts running through my mind. My breath hitched in my throat as I tried to stay still. He locked his eyes with mine sending shivers down my spine, making me bite my lip. "Aww look at you, all flustered and blushing."

I slapped his cheek lightly and laughed.

"This could hurt a lot, are you ready?" he was opening the bottle of alcohol, damping a towel with the liquid.

"I think I am." I wanted to sound more ready than I actually was.

"Tell me if it's too much princess." as he pressed the towel on my wound I shouted in pain, feeling like I had just been shot again. I clutched at the armrest of my seat and shot my head back into the cushion. He put his hand on mine in reassurance, then blew on the wound to ease the pain.

Anger replaced all of my thoughts. I was breathing heavily, something sparking up in me.

"You okay?"

"I'm so fucking mad. I can't stop thinking about those pigs macing an innocent, harmless little girl. What the fuck goes on in their minds? Did they think she was a threat to them? I fucking hate them."

"I know, I know..." he reached my cheek with his hand, rubbing it slowly.

"It's so unfair, why so much violence? Why do they fucking think they have the right to act like that?"

"Hey, want to punch a bag?" he motioned to the punching bag on the terrace.

Next thing I knew, I was venting all of my frustration and wrath punch after punch after punch.

I turned to Riot, now leaning against the glass door that led to the terrace, watching my every move.

"I want more." his eyes were confused by my words.

"What do you mean you want more?"


	10. Hearts

"I want in. If not in Anonymous, I at least want a vest and some goggles. I want to give them a taste of their own medicine." my fists clenching, nails almost digging in my own skin.

He came closer to me, placing my hands on his chest and enveloping me in his arms in a tight hug.

"It's going to be okay, I'll see what I can do." he kissed the top of my head as I melted in his embrace, his scent filling my every thought, his heart rapidly drumming near my right ear.

We stayed like that for a while, his fingers tracing random shapes on my back; we could hear the crowd roaring though it was pretty late and it wasn't safe to be outside. I closed my eyes tightly, hoping everybody was safe out there. Hoping they'd be at least half as safe as I felt in Riot's arms.

I looked up at him, my chin still resting on his chest. "Thank you, Riot."

He looked down at me, smiled and placed a kiss on my forehead, near the scratches I got the day before. My heart jolted, never wanting this moment to end.

"Come inside, you need something to eat." he held my hand as we crossed the room, a smile stuck on my face.

I sat on the kitchen counter as he prepared a couple of sandwiches.

"I promise I can do better than this, but I haven't been grocery shopping in a few days and you know why."

"Uh-huh, something tells me you aren't a great cook and this is just an excuse." I teased him.

"I can surprise you if you'll give me a chance one of these days"

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Do you want it to be a date?"

"Did you mean it to be a date?"

"Uh... Yes, yes I did." his cheeks turned an adorable shade of pink, glowing under his freckles.

I chuckled in embarrassment, I wasn't used to this much attention and I felt like I was having a really vivid dream.

"Well then, I accept." he finally looked at me, the biggest smile he had ever given me stuck on his face.

We ate our sandwiches, giggling at each other every time we made eye contact. I felt like a teenager crushing for the first time, and something told me he was feeling exactly the same way.

"It's a really good sandwich by the way." I reached up and ruffled his thick long locks up.

He crinkled his nose and shook his head trying to get his hair back in place looking like a puppy, which snatched a high pitched laugh from me.

"What's so funny huh?" he positioned himself in between my thighs, careful not to touch my wound, and hugged me again, his breath hot on the side of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

He pulled away, his hands on the sides of my legs. "Do you want to stay the night?"

I looked at him, gently caressing the stubble on his jaw, trying to make sure he knew how much I appreciated him asking me to stay. "Frida."

His eyes went wide. "Do you think the cutie is okay?"

"Yes, I refilled her food and water bowls before heading out this morning. She's probably just missing us." I smiled remembering the first time I saw her in the morning. "You know, she rarely sleeps on the bed with me, but this morning I woke up and found her between our pillows."

"Hah, I knew I stole two hearts yesterday." he said proudly.

"And whose hearts are you talking about exactly?" I joked. "Besides, it seems like you're stealing many more hearts to be honest."

"What are you talking about?" his brows furrowed.

"A little bird told me you have all of the Internet at your feet, giving you badass nicknames. They must all be thirsting over your tall, mysterious, muscly figure, trying to imagine how handsome you are under your armour." I was playing with the necklace on my neck.

He laughed. "Well, what nickname would you like for yourself?"

"What?"

"You heard me. Anyone can be part of Anonymous, some of us have specific tech skills, a few have the task of wearing gear and go at the protests, others focus on spreading the word about important causes, some can even do all of them. And there's no rule preventing us from recruiting someone to help us bully pigs... Plus I saw your motivation."

I couldn't help but smile. "What nickname would you give me?"

He scanned me, trying to find something suitable to my temper or personality, I thought.

"How about Athena?"


	11. Athena

"Athena." I repeated "Why?"

"You don't like it?" he was surprised. "She was praised for her compassion and generosity, both of which I really see in you... She was considered to be the patron of the arts and crafts, and I've been in your apartment, full of paintings and handmade macramé plant hangers and lastly... She's the goddess of war, I could do nothing but picture you in a cloak and a golden helmet when you were out there throwing punches left and right."

His words shook me. I held his face in my hands and pulled him towards mine, kissing him passionately, heart beating like it never did before. I never heard anyone describe me the way he did, yet everything fit so perfectly, just like our lips together. I was as surprised as I feel every time the horoscope says something right about my sign. I felt understood for the first time in such a long time.

He put his arms around me, pulling me closer to his body, lips still locked together. I swear I could feel his heart beating right next to mine, our hands travelling everywhere to then clasp together, fingers intertwined. He pinned them against the cupboard, butterflies in my stomach, kissing my jaw and nibbling at the skin of my neck with his soft lips, small moans escaping mine.

"I guess you did like it then." he said lowly.

"Liked what?"

"The nickname." he joked.

"Oh, shut up." I joined my lips with his again, laughing in our kiss. "I loved it."

He put his forehead against mine, looking at me through his long lashes. "I wish you could stay."

I smiled. "Me too. I will someday soon."

"What about Frida?" he whispered as if she could hear us.

"Maybe I could bring her here?"

"So she'll interrupt us again?" he was still giggling under his breath.

"What did she interrupt?" I acted oblivious but I knew exactly what he was hinting at.

"C'mon, are you going to pretend we weren't about to kiss this morning when you were dancing in the kitchen?"

"There was nothing to be interrupted on my account." I teased him, pulling his shirt towards me so I could give him a quick peck on the lips. He kissed me back eagerly, a hand on the back of my neck pulling me closer to him. He was making it harder and harder for me to leave his house.

"Can I have your phone?"

"As in my number?" he smirked.

"Nah, too early for that. I need it to get an Uber." he handed me his phone, I wrote my number in his contact list, to then actually get an Uber.

He was staring at me, leaning against the table opposite to the kitchen, with a smile on his face. I jumped down the counter, hiding how badly my knee hurt when my feet touched the hardwood, and went back in his arms. His hugs felt like home, they reminded me of my grandparent's house, the warm spring days spent picking cherries, and hazelnuts, and mint, being careful not to confuse them with nettle. If I focused hard enough, I could almost hear the birds chirping and bees buzzing around as I laid on the grass enjoying the sun, just like I was enjoying his affection, his presence radiant and golden.

Soon the Uber was there.

"Text me as soon as you get home, okay? Don't even try to debate, I know you went to my contact list." he chuckled. "Be safe." he planted a kiss on top of my head. I pulled his shirt towards me so he's bend down to my height and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Goodnight big man."

"Goodnight princess."

I looked up to his apartment before getting in the car, he was out on the terrace making sure everything was okay. He held up a hand and I blew him a kiss. I relived all the moments spent with him on the way back home, the Uber driver casually asking me about my day.

Frida was happy to see me finally home, purring louder than usual, but searching for something - or someone. I checked my phone.

[ would you believe me if i told you i kissed a goddess today? ]

I took a selfie of me and Frida and sent it to him to show him I got back home safe.  
[ is the goddess in this picture? ]

[ right, i kissed *two goddesses today ]

I took a relaxing hot bath, the wound burning more than I'd have imagined. I tried to read a book but way too many thoughts were in my head and I couldn't stop thinking about him.  
I put on the outfit I had picked for him the previous night and laid on the side of the bed he slept in, his scent still present. Soon after I drifted off to sleep. I heard my phone buzzing a couple of times but I was too tired to keep my eyes open.

I woke up in the morning, birds chirping loudly on the tree just outside my window. There were a few texts on my phone:

[ coffee was way too strong, i still can't sleep ]  
[ or maybe i'm just missing you ]  
[ and your lips ]  
[ and the way your cheeks flush when i get too close to you ]  
[ good night princess ]

My heart filled with happiness reading his sweet words. _How did I get so lucky? Was it just in my imagination?_

[ Good morning superman, I hope you managed to sleep despite my coffee and my absence ]

He called me.

"Good morning princess"

"Did you even sleep?"

"A little bit, yeah. I did miss you though." I smiled, I could almost see his flirty expression.

"So cheesy. I missed you too... Plans for today?" I asked, pausing for a yawn.

"Free day. I just talked to my friends about last night, they're okay with everything." I could tell he was hinting at my offer to help the team by the tone of his voice.

"That's great, I must have made a really good impression then." I couldn't help but smile at the nickname he gave me the previous night and the way he thought it all applied to me.

"How could you not?" he chuckled "Remember that dinner we talked about?"

"How can I forget?" I kept replaying every moment spent with him in my mind.

"Tonight?"


	12. Someone who lent a hand

"More than fine by me, I can't wait to be super impressed by your chef skills." I mocked him but I was truly excited.

"It's so much pressure knowing you're so good at cooking... Anyway, late afternoon?"

"Late afternoon it is, can I at least bring dessert?"

"Talking about yourself?" I could hear him smirking, his words igniting a spark deep inside me. "I would love for you to bring something too if you'd like."

"Such a tease... See you later big man."

"Later sweetie."

I hugged the shirt I was wearing, his scent still all over it, then texted my sister back in Italy, asking if they were free for a video call. I climbed out of bed trying to pick an outfit for my date, too nervous to eat something, but I ended up being more confused than when I started.

My sister replied soon after I splashed some water on my face and quickly pet Frida.

"Hello stranger, how are things in the US?"

"A mess as always, the protests are getting more violent and there's a curfew now."

"That seems harsh, please stay safe." my mum said, walking in the kitchen behind my sister.

"The things the police are doing are totally inhumane. Have you seen those tall hot guys bullying the pigs?" my sister interrupted me before I could reassure my mum.

I froze, I had no idea Riot and his team were known worldwide - sure I had seen protest videos going viral but I didn't think they'd be this famous already. _What if somebody recognised him or his friends and doxxed them?_ Just the thought made me want to cry.

"Uh yeah, I've seen some stuff on Twitter..."

"So you've never seen them in the streets?"

"Do you have any idea how many people there are at these protests?" I laughed it off, trying to get them to stop asking questions afraid they'd get too much and I'd say something I wasn't supposed to.

"Anyway, what are you up to?"

"I was thinking we could make tiramisù together?" I couldn't keep myself from smiling.

"Are you meeting someone?" the question was almost in unison.

"Maybe? Maybe I just want to eat it all by myself." I shrugged.

"You're so meeting someone." they laughed on the other end of the laptop screen.

We got all the ingredients ready and prepared the dessert simultaneously, laughing and talking as if we were all in the same room. I missed my life back in Italy more than I even realised, but now I had reasons to enjoy my stay here too.

"Are you going to tell us something about the mysterious person?" they were so curious.

"It's nothing serious so I'm not going to say a single word." I tried to keep myself from saying too much but I could feel my whole face going red.

"You're making dessert for them, blushing at every question and we should believe this lie?"

I hated myself for giving it away so easily. "It's just someone who lent a hand when I really needed it."

There were chuckles and incomprehensible words on the other end as I covered my face in embarrassment. They helped me choose an outfit as we waited for the dessert to be ready and caught up on everything that was happening.

No matter how hard I tried to distract myself, hours went by like they were weeks and I really couldn't wait to see him again. I played my favourite songs to get in the right mood, took a hot bath to try and relax, cuddled with Frida telling her my every thought, I even put some extra effort in doing my makeup though I wasn't planning on wearing more than just a layer of mascara and a little blush.  
I decided to draw a little; the only thing inspiring me were his deep, green eyes that reminded me of the tender leaves sprouting in spring, or the greenish lake waters just like Monet painted them.

It was about 4pm when I decided to wear the outfit I picked with my mum and sister, too impatient to keep still: a long, fitted red dress, a pair of flat, elegant shoes, a few necklaces and rings as always.

I decided to go for a walk around the neighbourhood so that time would go by a little faster; life was almost going back to an apparent normality, a few shops open, flowers of every colour and species on the sidewalk just outside the florist shop on the right to my building's doorway. I waved at the owner, a sweet old Chinese man who gifted me a couple plants in the past few months for defending him when he was accused of spreading the virus back in January. I made a mental note to get in and ask how he was doing to then buy a plant and tip him secretly to repay for his gifts the next time I'd see him. I crouched down and smelled some beautiful freesias.  
I went on my walk, unable to shake the thought of Riot from my mind, playing all the possible scenarios in my head. I almost reached my building when I heard someone who seemed to talk to me.

"Would you like some flowers?"


	13. Blushing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: abuse and rape mention.
> 
> If you feel uncomfortable reading about this you can skip the part when Alice asks about Riot's father, it's about 8 paragraphs long so you can keep reading from there on. I hope you're safe and okay and that you know you're loved by many. Thank you 🖤

I thought I was being catcalled or offered flowers from a street seller until I looked up and there he was, leaning against the side of his car, almost unrecognisable without his usual outfit or gear on. He was hiding half of his face behind the freesias I had smelled earlier and he was smoking a cigarette, smiling as soon as I glanced at him.

"What are you doing here?" I'm sure the surprise on my face showed through a quick furrow of eyebrows and a really big smile.

"Surprised?" he opened his arms to welcome my body in them.

"Really surprised, I love the flowers," I smiled at him and looked at the beautiful bouquet he was handing me. "you smoke?"

"Only when I'm really nervous, I honestly hate it." thinking of him getting agitated for me was a little funny, thinking he was fighting the government less than a day before.

"I was so nervous too, I've been trying to keep myself occupied all day but nothing worked so I went on a walk"

"Why so nervous? You look amazing in this dress." he was looking at me up and down and quickly held my hand so I could twirl for him, my heart full of joy.

"Look who's talking." I reached for the side of his black leather jacket so I could take a look at the silk, light blue button-up shirt he was wearing, black skinny jeans highlighting his thick thighs, a pearl earring on his left ear.

My hand travelled up to the side of his neck demanding a kiss and his lips were quickly on mine, his hand on the small of my back pushing me closer to him.

"Are you ready to go?" the excitement in his voice was adorable.

"Yep, I just need to get Frida and the dessert." I headed to my building's doorway when he stopped me.

"Wait." I turned to him as he picked a red freesia from the bouquet and placed it behind my ear. "It matches your dress."

"Stop it right now or I might fall in love, big man." his smile was so big and bright I thought I was staring directly at the sun.

I saw him smiling at me when I was on the other side of the glass doorway. Once I managed to get Frida in the cat carrier and got my dessert from the freezer I headed down for the car. He opened the door for me and closed it as soon as I got inside.

"How's your knee?"

"Much better, thank you. How about your nose?"

"Pretty much healed I think, it hurts a little but it's manageable." he poked at the cat carrier when we were at a red light, getting a low meow from Frida.

"I think she missed you last night, she seemed a little lost when I got home alone."

"Well I'm here now cuties, no need to miss me." his voice was full of smugness but it resulted sweet knowing she was talking about us.

Once out of his apartment he asked me to wait outside for a minute or two, taking the dessert in so I wouldn't be overloaded. When he opened the door he welcomed me in charmingly, house full of lit candles, walls painted a warm shade of orange by the almost setting sun. Thinking he was such a romantic person amazed me and made me even more interested to get to know him better.

"Come in babes, sorry I kept you waiting." I couldn't stop smiling thinking he did everything for me. I let Frida free to roam around the new space and we watched her curiously sniffing every corner, his arm around my shoulders, long fingers tickling the skin of my upper arm.

"Come with me miss." he took my hand and guided me to the terrace where he placed some candles, a couple of chalices and a bottle of spritz, my favourite aperitif, on the small table. We sat down after he started cooking something that smelled deliciously but didn't want me to see yet. He brought some snacks on a tray, enjoying the view of the city during the golden hour; he looked even more handsome with the sun shining on him, his dark skin glowing more than ever, his eyes gleaming.

"What do you think?"

"It's amazing, did you do a little research on my social media or just guessed what I love?"

"Maybe a mix of both." he chuckled.

"Well I really appreciate it, I almost feel at home. I also love this view."

"I love my view." his smile was so bright, his pearl earring emphasising his strong jaw.

"I love mine as well." he reached for my hand and played with my fingers a little. I don't know if it was the excitement of the moment or the spritz or a mix of both, but I was already feeling overwhelmed and slightly inebriated.

We enjoyed each other's company until he went in to keep on cooking dinner, letting me sit on the counter as long as I didn't peek on what he was preparing for us.

I glanced at the pictures on the walls. "Tell me about your mum."

"She's an amazing human being, the strongest one I know. She's a teacher who also works in charity, she's passionate about so many causes and it always inspired me a lot." it made me smile because I could see the influence she had in him was much deeper than just physical. "She knows everything about me, and I about her. She knows about you." he wasn't making eye contact and I could see he was smiling to hide a bit of shyness.

"Cute." I couldn't stop smiling, no matter how hard I was trying; did I really matter that much to him? "She sounds wonderful. Remember when at the hospital you asked me if I had any questions but the nurse called us in?"

"Mhm, should I be worried?"

"Nope? It could be a difficult subject to talk about though, so if you don't feel like it or if you think it's going to ruin your mood or our date we'll change the subject."

"Shoot." he seemed to already know what I was about to say.

"I'm just curious about your father, but please keep in mind you don't have to tell me."

He was silent for a moment, lost in thought. "My mum was just 18, she was at a small party her friend threw, no alcohol, no drugs, nothing wrong besides loud music, they just wanted to have some fun, you know?" I nodded, listening closely to everything he was saying. "Somebody called the cops on them, without any reason they brought them in for questioning. I was conceived that night."

I immediately felt mortified, my heart crushing as soon as I registered his words. "God I am so sorry, I had no idea..." I reached for his hand. "Are you okay?"

"Don't say sorry, it's not your fault." he came closer to me, a little smile on his face. "And you didn't ruin my mood or anything with your question, it's part of my story and I wanted you to know, I trust you enough."

"Thank you, I appreciate that a lot. This explains so many things, you know?" I smiled, trying to cheer him up a little bit. "Your passion when you were up against that barricade was very telling."

"Of how much I fucking hate them? Excuse my language but yeah." he was chuckling.

"Fucking pigs, I hate them so much. Also men."

"You do?" he faked being offended by my words.

"Mhm, most of them." he kissed me softly, going back to finish up his cooking. Soon it was ready: spaghetti with tomato sauce and zucchini boats.

"I hope you don't mind but I'm vegetarian."

"Why would I mind? Since I moved here I'm avoiding meat as much as I can, besides everything is so delicious. You're really trying to make me feel at home, aren't you?"

"You caught me." his smile was so big and glowing.

We talked about so many things while enjoying our dinner. It really felt like we had been knowing each other for such a long time; it was hard for me to feel at ease in many situations, yet with him everything was so easy and we were always in perfect harmony with each other. Once in a while, Frida would circle around our legs trying to get attention, earning a few scratches behind her ears.

"You know, you're more famous than I thought." his brow furrowed a little. "I was on video call with my family this morning, they were asking me how things are going over here and suddenly my sister asked me if I saw those «tall hot men who intimidate the cops at the protests»."

He almost choked on his drink and chuckled nervously. "What did you tell them?"

"That the protests are massive and there's no way I can see everything that's happening around me. I'm just a little nervous about the fact that you're famous worldwide and I'm afraid that somebody might be trying to get to you and your friends' identities, if something happened I-"

"Nothing's going to happen to me or my friends, remember my fake dreadlocks? We all took care of it before even going to the protests. And we're fully clothed, they can see hardly anything that's under our gear." he sounded reassuring and was rubbing my arm with his thumb as to take away all my worries. "Did you tell them about me?" suddenly he had a teasing expression on his face.

"Why would I?" I joked, probably sounding really serious judging by the confused face he gave me. "I didn't have to, they understood I was going to see someone because apparently I was smiling and blushing way too much."

"You're blushing now too," he laughed. "I love it, you can be really confident but also super shy." I was really silent, eyes facing my fingers as I was fidgeting with my rings, suddenly unable to think about anything to say, scared that he could read me so easily.

He poked my cheek. "Did I say something wrong?"

I smiled at him. "Nope, I just got a little inside my head, sorry."


	14. Quite the opposite

He pulled me onto his lap, gently moving some strands of hair away from my face. "If there's something wrong with what I do or say I want you to tell me, I don't like seeing you upset."

I leaned on the crook of his neck, sighing. "You didn't do or say anything wrong. Quite the opposite." I felt him smile at my words as I was rubbing my thumb on his cheek. "I'm just not used to attention and affection and someone who understands me as much as you do, and it's been a long time since someone treated me this way."

"If you think we're going too fast we can slow down, I can wait for you." his words were sweet, they made me feel like he really cared about me. "I'm not expecting anything to happen tonight, I only wanted to cook something, surprise you and spend some time with you to get to know you better."

"Shh, that's not what I meant, you're doing everything just perfectly." I placed a kiss near his lips to shut him up, then went on with a trail of gentle kisses on his jaw as he held my hand, my free one gently caressing the other side of his neck. "I want this if you do too, big man." He turned to me, staring in my eyes, his irises suddenly the colour of a deep, light emerald. He looked at my lips just a second before we both crashed into each other.

He was passionate about it, much more than the previous night. My hands buried in his thick, long hair, undoing his small bun as he was caressing my body, pulling me closer to him. I stood up, managing not to break our kiss because of his height, and straddled him, his huge hands on my back demanding more, to then tangle in my hair and lightly tug at it so he could leave a trail of wet kisses on my neck.

His lips drove me crazy, moans escaping mine before I could even try to suffocate them. I pushed him to the backrest of the little sofa, his lip bite turning me on even more, eyes telling me he was surprised by me taking control. I kissed and gently bit his neck, a series of low moans vibrating in his throat. His hands found my hips, pushing them towards his core, my fingers undoing a few of his shirt's buttons.

I rocked my hips towards his, our foreheads touching, eyes once shut in pleasure, then staring at each other.  
He put an arm around me, pulling me even closer to him as he was rocking his hips upwards against my core, the other hand exploring my body, first on my breast, then on my neck, slightly squeezing it. I gasped and moaned in his hot kiss, butterflies in my stomach as heat was spreading deep inside me.

"Bedroom?" he asked between kisses.

I nodded, smiling at him. He placed his hands under my thighs and stood up almost effortlessly, kissing me gently on the nose, making me chuckle. I put my arms around his neck, kissing his lips as we went to the bedroom. He laid me down on the bed, biting my lip, his long hair tickling the sides of my face. He kissed me down my body, clothes still on, then kneeled in front of me, pushing my dress up my thighs and softly teasing my skin. I sat up, held his face in my hands and kissed him passionately while I wiggled my dress up to my waist, his hands clutching at it just like they did when I was trying to escape his room as soon as I woke up in his bed two nights earlier.  
His eyes roamed around my almost naked body, surprised for a reason I couldn't tell. He stood up, pushing my dress up over my head, smiling down at me before bending and kissing me. My hands reached his hips pushing them towards me before unzipping his black tight jeans, palming his hardness, another low moan in my mouth. I unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, his hands travelling to the sides of my chest to lift the sports bra up over my head. He removed his shirt, lips finding my neck and travelling down my chest as he laid me back down on the bed, his weight finally on me, a strong thigh between my own. I lifted my hips, trying to get some friction and he smirked against the soft skin of my breasts, torturing me by slowly licking my nipples.

"So eager, so beautiful." his lips reached my ear before going back to kissing my neck, hips gently rocking against my side as his right hand reached my panties, slow, circular motions where I needed him most. I moaned, my hand clutching his shoulder.

"I want you." I whispered, whimpering at the way his fingers were making me feel without even being in contact with my skin.

"Where do you want me princess?" his words were sweet but his low, teasing tone almost made me reach my high.

"Deep inside me." I whined, begging for him to help me, but getting a low laugh in return.

"You know I'd do anything for you," he bit my bottom lip. "but not so fast." I groaned, not wanting him to edge me as much as he was.

He kissed me down my body, my heavy breath hitching in my throat whenever his body made contact with mine. His fingers hooked on the side of my panties, the tip of his nose teasing my clit before sliding off my underwear. I yelped feeling suddenly exposed. "Is this okay?" his eyes shot up at mine as I nodded and squirmed under his body in anticipation, eye contact making me shiver.

"I need words, sweetie." he smirked and kissed the inside of my thigh.

"Y-Yes, please." he teased my clit with the tip of his nose once again before it was replaced by his hot tongue. I bit my lip trying to hold back my moans, hips instinctively shooting up. He chuckled against my soft spot, pushing my hips back on the mattress.

"Is this not enough?" he went back on my clit, pushing a finger inside of me, my walls clenching around it as I moaned loudly. "Your moans are so hot baby." my fingers tangled in his hair, asking for more. He sped up his pace, sucking gently and adding a finger. I was getting more and more restless when he stopped, sucking on his fingers, a frustrated whimper leaving my lips.

I sat up, pulling him towards me, my naked core against his throbbing boner. I reached for it with my hand, slipping it inside his boxers. He moaned and hissed as soon as I started slowly teasing his tip, his eyes meeting mine, burning with desire.

"Don't tease me, princess." he buried his head in my neck, kissing it once more.

"It didn't seem to be a problem just a few moments ago." my hand got even slower, wanting to edge and torture him just like he did.

"Please-" his voice was low, almost whimpering, as if he was under a spell.

"Beg for it." my confidence shocked me as well, I had no idea where it was coming from.

"Please princess, I need you to go faster." I switched our positions so he was laying on the bed, watching my every move. I caressed and kissed the tattooed skin on his chest as I was rubbing his hardness faster, my lips getting closer to my hand. He pushed my hair out of my face, his lips agape as I licked his tip while staring at his now dark green eyes. I loved seeing him like this, the tall, strong, athletic man now replaced by a new side of him, powerless under my touch, begging me to pleasure him, low guttural sounds every time I bobbed my head.

"More, please baby." I bit my lip, kissing my way up to his lips as I straddled him again. His breath hitched as I rocked my hips against his. He quickly put on a condom, before I teased my entrance with his tip, both of us moaning in anticipation. My mind went blank as he filled me, his hands travelling to my breasts as I hopped up and down.

"You feel so fucking good- excuse my impoliteness."

I bent down to reach his ear. "Fuck your good manners, if I'm making you feel good I want to hear you say it."

He smirked at me, holding me down with his arms around my back, taking over in thrusting inside of me. The new position and the eagerness in his movements made him hit my soft spot, my moans getting louder and higher.  
"This just made me want to fuck you so hard." he suddenly flipped us, making me scream in pleasure with the first hard thrusts.

We heard Frida meowing, probably worried, and we both started laughing.  
"I told you she was going to interrupt us." he was smiling down at me, his face more attractive than ever.

"Shhh" I put a finger on his lips before kissing them. He started thrusting in me again, harder, faster. My hands were on his chest, admiring his tattoos as we were smiling at each other in awe. He pinned me down on the bed, pounding harder, my hands scratching his back as we were both moaning, close to our edges. I started clenching around him right when he was twitching inside of me, our burning desires coming to their peak.  
He collapsed on my body, breathing heavily against my neck, his lips finding my cheek to give me small pecks, making me chuckle.

"I love-" he breathed nervously. "I loved every moment of it."

"I loved it too." I smiled, softly kissing his lips.

"Are you tired? Wanna cuddle and sleep?" he pulled out slowly, turning to me with his head held up by his strong arm, the other hand gently caressing my cheek.

"Of course," I kissed him again, my eyes still exploring every feature on his face. "You're amazing."

His arm was around me, pulling me closer to his body, a soft kiss on my forehead. "No, you're amazing."

We stayed there for a while, just enjoying our cuddles, admiring each other and chit-chatting.

"I don't know about you but I'm a little hungry," he placed a kiss on my neck and I bit my lip thinking he was ready for a round two. "How about we eat that dessert you made?"


	15. Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to everybody: your body is beautiful no matter what it looks like, please love yourself and know your worth. It's your only home 🖤

I laughed, realising what he was actually hinting at. "I thought you were another kind of hungry judging by your kiss."

"Well that's always true." he smirked, earning a slight slap on his cheek.

"Wait here, I'm going to get it." I slipped on his silk shirt and headed to the living room and kitchen, still lit up by the almost consumed candles, pale moonlight coming in from the terrace. Frida was snoozing on the sofa but woke up when I entered the room. I got two spoons, the dessert and headed back to bed followed by the cute cat who hopped on the bed even before me.

"Finally in bed with two princesses and the best dessert I've ever had, I couldn't ask for more." he had his arm around my shoulders, fingers gently playing with my hair, while I was scratching behind Frida's ear, who was laying on top of me. I never wanted this moment to end, his cologne filling up my lungs.

I woke up at about 9am, my leg propped up on his side, his fingertips softly running around my thighs.

"Good morning sweetheart." his morning voice and sleepy face greeted me in the best way. Frida was sleeping at the feet of the bed, her tummy showing.

"Good morning to you mister." I kissed him quickly, eyes still half-closed.

"How did you sleep?" he booped my nose.

"Like those nights after spending the whole day at the beach during vacations." his smile was so big after kissing my forehead.

"Breakfast?" he got up and I followed him shortly after. I pressed my body against his, my arms around his long torso as he was toasting some sliced bread.

"I thought you were more of a bacon and eggs person." I smiled against his skin, pressing my lips on his tricep.

"Why?" he sounded amused, his eyebrows shooting up as he turned his head to get a glimpse of my face.

"I can't really say, I suppose it's what most Americans like best?"

"Do you prefer bacon and eggs?"

"Absolutely not, it couldn't be farther from what I like to eat in the morning." we both laughed, his voice melting my heart.

He placed a jar of wild berries jam and the freshly toasted bread on the kitchen table, moving the chair for me to sit down, then brought a couple of glasses and some orange juice.

"I'm sorry I don't have any Nutella."

"No problem, I like jam as well." I smiled at him, his eyes unable to get off of me, just like mine on him.

"I was so caught up in the moment last night that I forgot about your surprise." he said, taking the last bite of bread.

"What surprise?" my eyes probably lit up as I loved surprises.

He left the room quickly, returning with a big white box, quite heavy. I couldn't even imagine what was inside.

"Did you really do this for me?" I was pretty speechless, feeling like I didn't deserve so much.

"Open it." he had a sweet smile on his face.

Too curious, I obliged. Inside of the box were a set of contact lenses, yellow goggles, a vest, a ski mask, arm, shoulders and knee protectors and a pair of durable fabric cargo pants.

My eyes shot up at his. "Does this mean what I think it means?"

He was nodding and smiling, taking my hand in his, the other pointing at every item. "Vest, just like you asked. No Anonymous patch, people upstairs said it's safer for you. Grey contact lenses and a ski mask, so you can't be recognised as easily since you won't have a helmet. Protectors are my treat, I don't want you to get hurt. What do you think?"

I squeezed his hand, scared but mostly excited of what was going to happen next time we'd be at a protest.

"Call me Athena." I said getting up from my seat holding the vest against my chest, then walking around the table and standing on my tiptoes to hug him, my arms wrapped around his neck. He picked me up, lips joining before he sat me on the kitchen counter.

"I'm getting hard just thinking about how hot you'll look like wearing all that stuff." he bit my lip, his hands reaching for my body under the silk shirt he was wearing the previous night. I wrapped my legs around his body, pulling him closer to me, moaning softly as soon as his fingers found my breasts.

"Imagine spending a whole day seeing you in your gear, not even the possibility to get close to you." my hand travelled down his abs dangerously close to his boxers, making him hiss.

"What about it, sweetheart?" his fingers slid up my thigh, causing me to moan breathily.

"You look like the hottest superhero I've ever seen, or one of those hot badass players in war games." my fingers played with the hem of his boxers, careful not to touch the tip of his hardness as that's where he wanted me most.

"You're teasing me again." he looked down at my hand.

"Excuse me? Aren't you doing exactly the same?" my eyebrow shot up.

"Is that the game we're playing?" he went to kiss my lips but pulled away to tease me. "If we keep doing that there's no way we're going at a protest sweetie."

I groaned but nodded at him, trying to contain myself from jumping on his lips again. "Shower?"

"Only if it's together." he picked me up suddenly, making me yelp in surprise, and headed to the bathroom, both in a laughing fit.

"How is it so easy for you to pick me up?"

"Uhh muscles?" he said it lightly, trying to be careful since he sensed my tone changed. He flicked the water on, trying to get the right warmth, while I was taking off the silk shirt that was preventing me from being totally naked. He then held out a hand for me to get in. "Miss?"

His gestures were so gentle, his soft, innocent and non-threatening side of him showing through every action despite his vigorous presence being quite intimidating and tough at first glance. It made it almost impossible for me to believe these two were sides of the same coin, yet it somehow made perfect sense.

I stepped into the shower, warm water hitting my hair and running down my body in trickles. He joined as soon as he removed his boxers, giggling at my relaxed expression. I moved so he could get under the water, his strong hands on my waist. He kissed my right shoulder, reaching for a bottle of shampoo and squeezing it to then put it on my hair gently. I had my eyes closed, enjoying every moment of his careful touch, a smile stuck on my face.

"I don't know what kind of stupid monster, or monsters, deceived you into believing your body is not beautiful, not enough, not worthy of love," he paused to turn the water up a bit, my heart pounding in my chest trying to hold back the first tears that were filling my eyes. "and you absolutely don't have to open up about that unless you feel ready to talk about it... but that's not what I see, it's not what anyone sees." His words hit me hard, his ability to read my thoughts stunned me more every time. I gulped hard, trying to swallow my tears, hoping he'd keep on massaging my head for as long as my tears would have stopped. "And it's okay to cry to let it all out, I know how frustrating these things are. When someone is mean to us and their words get to our core, it's difficult for them to leave. I can see that you've worked on it and you still are, it's the most important thing." I hugged him and started sobbing against his chest.

"They not only bullied me on my oversized body, but also on my temper, because I was shy and it wasn't easy for me to talk to other people unless I clicked with them instantly." I tried so hard not to sob but it was uncontrollable. He turned off the water so he could listen to me, the cold air in contrast with our warm bodies. "I've worked on it for years and years, had problems with my own image, my weight started fluctuating for different reasons and when I finally found the courage to run some tests I discovered it was for hormonal problems, something I could have never controlled on my own. I struggled so hard to get over it all, and pretty much succeeded, yet sometimes it's all still here."

"I get it, I really do. You didn't deserve any of that, but I hope you know how strong you are for overcoming it all. You've remained kind though everything that happened to you. You're beautiful inside out." his words made me feel much better, I smiled as he held me close to his body, his fingers tracing the skin on my back, sending shivers all over.

"So are you, and I truly believe that now that I'm getting to know you better. That's so relaxing... also really tickly." I giggled against his torso, getting a laugh in return.

"Do you want me to stop? Watch out: I could tickle your belly instead."

"Don't even try, remember what happened at the hospital?"

"I do, miss gladiatrix." he laughed.

"Gladiatrix. I kinda like that." I pulled away from our hug and kissed his lips to then turn the water back on.

We finished showering, lathering each other to then rinse it away giggling at our bodies being so close.

Wrapped up in my towel, I watched him as he put on his gear, choosing not to wear his dreads for today as that were the team's instructions.

"Well? You don't feel like coming?" he sounded worried.

"I do. I just wanted to see you getting ready." I smiled at him.

"Your turn now, Athena." he was smirking, coming near me to place a kiss on my lips.

I was excited. The cargo pants somehow fit me just perfectly, the fabric heavy on my legs. He gave me one of his black t-shirts, looking unbelievably oversized on me, then I put on my vest and the grey coloured contact lenses. I looked like a whole different person, it reminded me of when I was little and I'd carefully pick a character to impersonate for carnival: the costumes sort of masqueraded me into someone I wasn't, I was finally able to escape all of my problems and turn into someone else, hiding in their clothes, even if just for a few hours. I stared at the mirror, his gaze on my reflection, mouth agape.

"So?" I turned to him, confident after the conversation we had in the shower, feeling powerful and ready to fight.

"Not even close to how hot I was imagining you'd be." he laughed, speechless, then kissed me eagerly. "It's going to be so hard having you next to me."


	16. Nerves

After cuddling Frida a little and taking care of her needs, we headed to the protest, parking not far from the unmonitored zone from the previous time we had been at the protest.

"Are you ready?" he scanned my face, probably looking extremely nervous. "Keep in mind the protests are getting harsher, if you're ready to expose yourself more you can stay closer to me. You're scared, aren't you?"

"I'd say more nervous than scared." I was fidgeting with my rings.

f

"You have me, I'll be right there you know? You just need to be really careful, if you get caught we'll try to help as I said, but if it doesn't go like planned you could lose your visa and be deported back to Italy and we don't want that to happen, right?" he booped my nose, making me smile a little.

" _We_ don't?" I was teasing him, searching for confirmation of his affection towards me.

"I don't know about you, but I certainly don't." he was smirking, his face getting closer and closer to me to kiss my lips.

I slid on the ski mask and he completed his outfit with his face mask and helmet, then he handed me a pair of gloves just like his and we headed out.

The sun was already really up in the sky, making it even harder to breathe behind masks, clothes clinging to my slightly sweaty skin. I opted to stay a little behind Riot, I didn't want to get him in trouble no matter how covered I was. The crowd was much noisier and more compact, arms in touch with others. Most people would march peacefully, some provoked officers, some others looted shops, broke windows or scribbled graffiti on every surface; big part of those people were white and they seemed to be letting out their frustration and trying to realise their anarchist dream instead of protesting for the right causes.

At one point I lost sight of Riot despite his height, way too many people to separate us. People all around me practically stopped walking because the crowd gathered around a group of activists was way too large. The heat got extremely heavy, making me dizzy, my vision a blur, not a shadow in sight for metres. I decided to try and walk away from the crowd, between a vast number of "sorry"s and "excuse me"s.

I finally spotted a tall figure with dreads, but I saw something was off. "Riot?"

He turned to me. "I'm not Riot, doll." his voice was deeper than Riot's, his figure slightly taller. "You must be Athena."

"Right, that's me." I squinted my eyes, confusion running through my head, the sun still hitting me.

"I'm Tank... Do you need help? You look pale."

"I'm feeling dizzy, I just need something to drink." he put an arm under mine.

"Hold on to me, we're going to a safer place so you can get water and maybe eat something without being seen by many." he brought me to a side street just off the main street where I mistook him for Riot. "Sit on the sidewalk, it'll be alright." he stepped further from me, controlling the situation in the street while I lifted my goggles and ski mask, got the water bottle from my backpack and had a sip.

"Hey man, your girlfriend's here." he was pressing a finger against his ear as I realised what he just said, eyes wide, almost choking on my water. "I think she's got low blood sugar or something." He stepped closer to me.

"He's going to be here soon, today the streets are packed and it's easy to lose sight of others."

I nodded. "Yeah, I saw... Thank you, by the way, I felt like I was about to pass out." he gave me a thumbs-up, silent. "Were you here yesterday?"

"Yep, the situation was pretty much the same as today, things just got worse when a few people set a police car on fire."

My jaw dropped in surprise. "They seriously did that? Where was I?"

"On a date?" his tone was blunt, words hitting me like a slap.

"Right." I felt uncomfortable, like I was too much for Riot. What if I was in the way? Was I hindering his work? My eyes dropped to the floor, feeling guilty as I searched my backpack for a snack. I was about to eat it when Tank sat next to me.

"Oh don't worry about me, I'm not hungry, thanks for asking."

I gave him a side look, my eyebrows furrowed as I was trying to understand what he was trying to say. I got another snack and handed it to him, unsure if that's what he wanted from me. "Sorry, I didn't think about it." He took the snack, looking incredibly small in his hand, and put it in his pocket.

"Thanks." I couldn't understand his tone, no matter how hard I was trying. I felt his gaze on me from behind his helmet. "You have beautiful eyes."

_Was he hitting on me? Teasing me? Making fun of me? He went from helping me, to making me feel like I was intruding, to blaming me for not offering a snack and now... this?_

"I uhh... It's coloured contact lenses-"

He laughed loudly. "You think I don't know that, doll?"

"I supposed you did but you proceeded to compliment me anyway so..."

"And you didn't like it?" his tone was irritating me, I felt uneasy, unable to understand his intentions. I rolled the ski mask back on my face, put my goggles back on and stood up.

"Thanks for the help, Tank." I walked away without even looking his way and headed to the main street, fists clenched, when I bumped into Riot at the corner.

"Hey, are you okay?" he put his strong hands on my upper arms and bent down to look at my face.

"I was before your friend decided to piss me off in 20 different ways."

"Calm down please, tell me what happened sweetie." he sounded worried, trying to catch his breath as if he ran to reach me.

"He helped me, I was about to faint because of the heat and the mask, I drank some water and ate something but then he proceeded to make me feel like shit by hinting at the fact that we were away from the protests yesterday and then he kind of hit on me? Who knows what he was trying to do."

"He did what? Come with me, let's talk to him." he took my hand in his, almost dragging me to the other masked figure.

"Hello Riot, did you prepare no breakfast for her?"

"Of course I did, she just wasn't feeling well because of the heat. Tell me what just happened." he tilted his head, demanding of an explanation.

"She just told you." he shrugged and tilted his head.

"Why did you make her feel bad for us not being at the protest yesterday when it was just directions from people upstairs?" the other man was silent. "Did you hit on her?" I saw Riot's hand clench in a fist.

"Alright, I was just fucking with her." Tank stood up and turned to me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I can be an ass sometimes. Peace?" he reached out a hand and I awkwardly shook it, though I felt his words were sincere.

"Peace. I'm here to help, I don't want people to fuck with me. Nor hit on me."

"Well you made an exception on that last bit a few days ago I hear."

I rolled my eyes at him, Riot slapping Tank's arm. "Quit it."

I headed back at the protest, trying to distract myself by doing what I truly came here to do: protesting.

Suddenly I heard people shouting, saw some running, the large crowd making it impossible to understand what was happening. I just kept on walking as much as it was possible, until I started seeing water splashed all over the street. It was confusing, nobody understood what just happened. Then I saw some broken wood panels with the word "medics" sprayed on them and I immediately thought of Maddy, the young woman who helped me when I got shot. I walked towards the panels to ask if they needed help, the only person not busy in fixing things being a young boy.

"Hello? What just happened?" he seemed upset.

"Cops came and smashed everything. We put up this medic centre so people could come here and seek first aid or get bottles of water if they needed, but the pigs came here, threw out our medicines and poked every bottle of water with their knives." he was almost sobbing, incredulous of what just went on.

"I am so sorry, they're monsters aren't they?" he nodded. "Hey, are you friends with Maddy?"

His face lit up. "I'm her brother, how do you know her?"

"She helped me a couple of days ago, I was shot by a rubber bullet. Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's just sad. She must be somewhere around here, she wanted to talk to some reporters about what just happened."

"I see, I'm going to wait for her here if it's okay with you. Is there something I could do to help?"

He shook his head, seeing him so sad made me feel really bad. The medic centre was nothing but a good thing, yet the cops came here and destroyed this offer of help. During such a hard time. It made me burn inside with wrath.

"Hey, want to meet a superhero?" I saw Riot getting closer and waved at him so he would stop by, the kid excitedly looking at the direction of my wave.

"Did you get hurt again?" Riot's voice wasn't worried, more like amused.

"Nope. Remember Maddy? The girl who helped me and said she put up a medic centre? The cops just destroyed it all so that protesters wouldn't get help." he shook his head in disappointment, as if he could be even more disappointed in them. "Meet Maddy's brother, this is the superhero I was telling you about."

The kid was smiling at Riot as if he was actually looking at a superhero. Riot squatted and put his hand in a fist so the kid would bump it with his own.

"What's your name kiddo?" he ruffled his hair, the kid laughing loudly.

"Daniel, yours? What's your superpower? " his smile was so big.

"My name is Riot, I fight bad cops who do this kind of things." I was watching them interact, surprised by Riot's natural talent in acting as if he really was a superhero.

"Will you avenge us?" the energy in Daniel's voice told me he completely changed mood.

"Of course! It's my duty, right?" I couldn't help but smile at how sweet the scene playing in front of me was.

"Are you a superhero too? Your outfit is so cool." Daniel turned to me.

"Thank you! And no, I just help him." my eyes turned to Riot, it was impossible to see his face but something told me he was smiling at me and it was impossible for me to shake my smile away. I saw Maddy coming back towards the centre.

"Hey, remember me?" she took a while trying to figure out who I was, with my mask and contact lenses on.

"Alice?" she looked at Riot, still crouched near Daniel.

"Yes! I'm so sorry this just happened, if we can do anything to help please tell us."

"I don't think there's much to do, they just wasted like 300 bottles of water and who knows how many meds supplies... It's unbelievable." her voice was quivering, hands on her hips.

Daniel tugged at her shirt. "Maddy! They're superheroes, they're going to help us!" she laughed at what he had just said, his innocence shining through, the tension slightly relieved. She turned to Riot.

"I saw what you did the other day, if you're going to do something similar today, please do it for me too." she sounded calm, but her words were fierce, full of anger.

"Will do." Riot motioned a two-fingers-salute at her as he stood up.

"I see you joined him, be careful, yes?" her voice was encouraging as she was making sure I'd take care of myself.

"Thank you, Maddy, take care. Bye, Dan!" I hugged her and waved at her brother, then kept on marching.

"What even was the reason? They're fucking insane."

"They're the worst and they're getting even worse" Riot was still shaking his head, voice full of anger. I looked up at him though I couldn't see his expression.

"You did with the kid, superhero." I nudged his arm, trying to alleviate the tension.

"You think so?" I could tell he was smiling behind his armour as he lifted the camera on his helmet so he could see better.

"Of course, he believed every word you said," he was silent. "Everything good?"

"No, nothing's good. I'm a bundle of nerves." his muscles seemed tense under his gear. I was about to try and calm him down when the crowd stopped walking again, a line of police officers opposite to us. It was hard to see what was happening around us, but to our right a white man was hammering the sidewalk, probably planning to use the bricks to provoke the police. Suddenly he was tackled by a group of protesters, presumably not wanting the march to turn into a violent one at the hands of a white man who wanted to cause trouble. They then handed him over to the police, who obviously treated him with kindness. I wondered if they would have treated him the same if he wasn't white.

I was distracted by the actions happening in front of me when I saw Riot was going through the crowd: my heart lost a beat when I saw him getting closer and closer to the police line, so I followed him. He was stomping, hands clenched in fists.

"So? You feel powerful now you destroyed an entire medic centre? You like wasting water and medicines when there are people out there dying?" he was towering over them, bending down, shouting in anger. "Is that what you're supposed to do? Weren't you meant to protect us?" I reached for his arm, slightly pulling him back, walking in front of him to shield him from the pigs, scared that they could get irritated and attack him, but still glaring at them expressing all of my frustration and rage. He walked in front of me again, directed at those ugly blue uniforms. "You know what fuck that!" wrath was filling his voice as he bent down to get to their heights and made fun of each of their names, finger pointed at their faces. They just stood there, frozen, intimidated by his strong, tall figure at least as much as the first time I saw him walking towards me while I was trying to escape his bedroom, if not more. It was incredibly captivating to me, desire burning inside of me as my heart pounded in my chest with pride, fulfilment and something I could only explain with one word. _Love_.


	17. Key in the lock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: police brutality

Though I was overwhelmed with feelings I managed to fight my urges and keep present, still shielding him with my own body, shivering whenever his torso would bump into my back.

"Are you scared? You don't seem so invincible now, you dirty pigs." my voice was full of rage as I managed my best American accent not to give away my origins.

A black man stood beside us, hands up, trying to demonstrate to them that we weren't doing anything wrong.  
He kneeled in front of them, some other protesters following his example. Riot finally stepped aside and walked away with a hand clutched to my arm, trying to catch his breath.

"Stay with me, things might get intense now and I need you to be safe." I squeezed his arm and nodded at him. We were on the side of the street, right by the corner, watching the cops' every move.

They kneeled in front of the black man and the group of protesters, the crowd murmuring indistinctively but surely in amazement. Everybody was speechless, _were they really doing that?_ Some of them had some humanity, sure. _But weren't they the same people who destroyed one of the few spots people could seek help to just an hour earlier?_ It made no sense, and something didn't feel right.  
Just as I thought that, a couple of officers stood up and hugged a few protesters, surrounded by people clapping. It was a beautiful image, my body covered in goosebumps.

A few others stood up, but instead they walked towards the brave black man who kneeled in front of them first, putting handcuffs around his wrists. It was a trap. _Sure, it couldn't be that easy._

Anger spilt out of the whole crowd: some shouted insults, fists raised to the sky, not wanting to turn the protest into a violent one; others started throwing water bottles or anything they could find around them at the line of cops, some others tried to attack them to set the man free.

"Stay here, it's not safe for you." Riot ran through the crowd. Disobeying his orders, I followed him, though it was total confusion. People running, others shouting, the line of police disappearing behind the movements of the angriest protesters, Riot vanishing among them.

I heard tires screeching, people screaming even louder than before.  
On the left side of the street, a police car tried to run over protesters. The crowd got even more enraged: they circled the car, broke the windows, forced the officers out of their car, finally setting fire to it.  
It was such a powerful image, the vehicle on flames represented the symbol of the system crumbling down due to all the hidden abuses, emblem of the change we all wanted to see. The crowd screamed in unison "Fuck the police, defund the police" as the car burnt down, sun setting and sky turning darker. It reminded me of those evenings and nights at the beach, my group of friends back in Italy all-around a bonfire laughing and joking and dancing. Only the vibe was completely different now.

The police called for back up and we all knew what was going to happen. We heard shots, people running all around. I searched for a spot so I would be a little protected by the rubber bullets, trying to figure out where Riot could be. I could hardly see anything, the first tear gas canisters hitting the ground and spreading smoke all around, mingling with the one produced by the burning car.

I felt an empty sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, that sense of impending doom, like something bad was about to happen. My breathing got faster, chest tight, so much I struggled to inhale and exhale. _I had to do something. But what?_ Curfew was getting closer, Riot was nowhere to be seen, his car what seemed to be miles away.

I decided to run to a street not far from the main one, sat on the stairs that led to a pub I had been to with my uni friends a while back, before all the mess brought by the pandemic: if my phone was tracked down by the police, the call would ping off another mobile tower and I would have an alibi. I was trying to make sense through all the confusion happening in my mind, other than in the streets. I tried to call him: though I was almost certainly sure his phone was turned off, it was the only thing I could think about.

"Fuck!" my frustration was getting higher, unable to think of something else to do. It was getting harder to breathe, no matter how hard I tried to calm myself down. I decided to count to 10 for 10 times, a little trick I used in situations where anxiety struck me hard.  
I called him again, phone going straight to voicemail. "You know what to do. 3, 2, 1... *beep*"

His voice resonated in my mind. I thought of the first time I heard it without any mask on, only half of his face lit up by the moonlight, blood covering his big lips and running down his chin. Those lips I had tenderly kissed for the first time a few days ago after he made me feel special and understood. Those lips I had everywhere on my body not even a day before, though it seemed like a lifetime went by. I smiled, eyes filling with tears. I hadn't met someone this peculiar and interesting, strong yet so gentle, in ages. Being with him made me feel alive, motivated and fierce, I wanted nothing more than to be in his arms again. That feeling I had when he was right in front of the police line was back, and it was knocking on my chest and making my heart tremble, waiting for me to give it the attention it claimed, though it already was somewhere in the back of my mind. I was falling in love.

There was no way I just could sit there and do nothing. I ran back to the main street, avoiding attention. There were a few people shouting in pain, helped by some others. The line of cops pushed forward of almost a block, the crowd feeling threatened. I helped a guy who had been maced, reaching for some milk spray in the backpack Riot prepared for me that morning. Once I made sure he was fine I moved further, occasionally asking people if they needed help whenever I thought some were struggling.

It was almost 8pm and the curfew was about to begin. I urged people to get to safety as soon as they could, trying to get a glimpse of the tall, black figure I couldn't spot anywhere, heading back to his car. _Maybe he was there waiting for me. Was he searching for me as much as I was searching for him?_

When I reached the car it was empty, small fragments of my still remaining hope falling apart. I felt overwhelmed again, a few sobs escaping me uncontrollably. _What was I to do now? Why had we never talked about this? Why had we not given each other directions on what to do if we'd ever lost sight of the other?_

Home. I wanted to be home. I realised in that moment Frida had been in his apartment all alone for so long and I didn't even have keys to get in. I was panicking, trying to find a solution though my head was about to explode, too many thoughts running back and forth through it. I wanted to call my family for a little support, but besides being incredibly late back there, knowing it would endanger the person I love made me die inside.

I decided to head back to his apartment on foot; no matter how long it would have taken me to get there and how tired I would have been, it was nothing to the tiredness I was already feeling mentally.  
I avoided crowded streets against what I usually do, scared both of possible harassers attacking me and the police arresting me for being out during curfew.

When I got to his building the doorman let me in with an understanding smile on his face, recognising me from the previous night though the exhaustion on my face was probably really noticeable.

"He's not home yet, would you want me to open the door for you, Miss?" my eyes lit up, still not used to doormen and their jobs since it's rare to find some in Italy.

"I would love that, thank you so much." I couldn't believe it, finally something good happening. He accompanied me to the elevator.

"Long day?"

"Really long day." I touched the back of my neck, trying to relieve some tension and keep the tears I was holding back. The elevator dinged. "Have a good night, Sir, thank you again."

"You're welcome Miss, he's going to be here soon." he gave me a reassuring look, his words shocking me though I convinced myself he was just trying to be nice, especially knowing Riot was really discreet about his life.

Frida meowed at me as soon as the door was closed behind my back. I leaned against it and slid down, Frida jumping on my lap, sniffing the unfamiliar clothes I was wearing and my chin. I smiled at her, though tears were streaming down my face. I had a deep pain in my chest trying to make sense of the events of the day, sobs so hard they would scare the cute cat who was comforting me with her purrs.  
 _What if he got hurt? Or arrested? How risky would that be for someone like him? Sure, he said they always have a backup plan, but what if something went wrong?_

There was nothing I could do that could make me feel better.  
The clock signalled 9:16pm. I hadn't had anything to eat in hours and I wasn't hungry at all, anxiety replacing all of my needs. I removed the vest, arm and shoulders protectors, kicked my boots away and stretched my back. I sat on the sofa, legs distended trying to relax. I was almost drifting off to sleep, tears dried on the sides of my face, when I heard the sound of keys in the lock.


	18. Eyes

I stood up, pacing forcefully and clumsily to the door.  
"God, Alice where were you?" he seemed relieved to finally see me.

"Searching for you?" tears were filling my eyes again as I ran to him, my arms around his torso. His strong arms were immediately around me, sort of startling me for the energy with which he was keeping me close to his body. "What happened?"

"I did what I was supposed to do, fight those pigs. What happened to you sweetie?" I could hear his heart pounding in his chest.

"I couldn't stay where you wanted me to, it wasn't safe, so I went into the crowd but there was no sign of you. A police car tried to run over protesters and luckily I wasn't that close but by the time they set fire to it, you were nowhere to be seen. I panicked, I thought you got hurt or arrested-"

He gently took my face in his hands, directing my gaze to his. "Hey, I'm right here and I'm okay, right? There's no need to cry now, it's all over and we're both safe." I was sobbing quietly, tears still running down my face. He wiped one with his thumb, the other hand moving a strand of hair out of my forehead. "Can I do something to help?" his expression was tender, loving. I stood on my tiptoes, arms around his neck, our lips joining after what seemed to be whole weeks. He picked me up and placed me on the sofa where I was laying shortly earlier, sitting right beside me with his arm around my shoulders as we were looking at each other, my legs on his lap. "I was so scared something happened to you, I even asked my team if they happened to see you but nothing came up until the doorman saw you come in." his face showed concern even now that he knew I was okay.

"He's with you? I thought he was just trying to be nice when he said you were coming back soon."

He smiled. "Sorry, I should have told you." he placed a kiss on my forehead, his hand on my side caressing it slowly, his touch making me feel cherished.

"I'm sorry too, I should have been more careful. Next time we need something to communicate or I'm probably going to die of anxiety." I smiled at him but his eyes were low. I touched his face softly, bringing his attention back to me. "You did great today, superhero."

"You think so?" a smirk appeared on his face, a spark shining in his eyes though he was exhausted. I nodded at him, staring at his beautiful irises crowned by long lashes as if hypnotised.

"First with that kid, he really believed you were a superhero, you know?" he chuckled and slightly shook his head. "And then at the line of police... They were completely petrified."

"Well, you did your part. Imagine how humiliated they felt seeing you shielding them from me but still insulting them at the same time." he laughed, a finger under my chin, his lips on mine shortly after. "It was so hard to keep my hands off of you, no matter how mad I was at them... Having you next to me was really something else."

"You tell me, every time you bumped into me I just-"

"You just what? Did it turn you on?" the tone in his voice made me squirm inside, my heartbeat faster.

"Don't act surprised, I know you knew." I brought his face to mine, his strong jaw clenching right before we kissed eagerly. He was getting more passionate, his hands exploring my body as mine were roaming around his. He moved me so I was straddling him, our eyes locking together.

"You're so beautiful." he looked at me in awe, my heart melting, still not used to his compliments. There were a hundred thoughts flashing in my mind at that moment and all I wanted to do was to confess my feelings for him, but I hoped my actions would talk for me. He placed his hands on my waist, pushing me closer to him, my lips finding his lips, then jaw, then neck.  
I removed his gear, piling it up the one I had worn all day, and his shirt, a thin layer of sweat making his brown skin glisten with the low kitchen light.  
I put my hands on his chest, tracing his tattoos, his hands unzipping my cargo pants, then caressing the skin under the oversized t-shirt he lent me that morning, sending shivers all over. I stood up, peeling my trousers off, then bending down to bite his bottom lip, his hand on the side of my neck. I pulled away, fingers beckoning him to stand up and he obliged. I smirked, looking up at him while I was unzipping his pants, his mouth agape in anticipation. I teased him, grazing the skin on his thick thighs, his teeth sinking in his bottom lip. He took off my shirt, my fingers reaching and tangling in his long locks, arms around my back pulling my body closer to him. His hands were soon on my ass, kneading it, making me moan in his mouth. He picked me up again, his strong hands under my thighs, breaking our kiss just to catch his breath. "Where were we this morning?" the look on his face turned me on even more, butterflies in my stomach while he was placing me on the kitchen counter.

"Right here if I remember correctly." I wrapped my legs around his body, pulling him closer to me just like I did in the morning. His hand moved up my neck, bringing my face closer to his, the free one fondling my breast over my sports bra. He brought both shoulders straps down, exposing my chest to him, circling one of my nipples. He found my clit with his free hand, moving it painfully slowly over my panties, my eyes shut enjoying every second of it.

He leaned closer to my ear. "You're so fucking hot princess."  
I smirked, my hand slipping in his boxers, teasing him and palming him, his breath hot on my neck. His movements were faster, moans escaping my mouth as I wasn't able to hold them back, my hand pumping him as I felt him twitch. Lips clashing desperately, we moaned in each other's mouths, our free hands running everywhere.  
He tugged at my hair, a loud moan escaping my lips as soon as his teeth grazed the soft skin on my neck. I moved my hand faster, the way he was thrusting in my hand and his breathy groans telling me he was already close.  
I brought his strong hand on my throat, the one that was previously on my clit softly touched my lips to then slip in my mouth as I sucked on his fingers.  
I slowed down my movements, teasing him because he stopped touching me. He took my wrists in his hands, pinning them over my head as I moaned breathily. He went to kiss my lips but pulled away to tease me, sucking on my nipple instead, the sensation making me arch my back into him. He released my arms to take off my panties, then kneeled in front of me, spreading my legs, placing a soft kiss on the bandage on my knee; his lips teased the soft skin of my thighs before he was on me, humming as he sucked on my clit, sending vibrations through my whole body, occasionally glancing up at me with a smirk. I was a moaning mess under his touch, tongue occasionally slipping inside of me, my breath heavier and heavier as I came.

"Your cheeks flush even when you come, it's cute." he stood up and kissed me softly, a grin on his face. I pulled him closer to me, holding his strong body tight in my arms. "You okay?" he sounded worried, but I nodded against his neck in reassurance with a happy sigh, catching my breath. "See? That's how cute you are."

"Stop acting all innocent, you big hot man." I bit his lip, my hand sliding down his body and wrapping around his hardness again. He hissed at the way I was touching him, half-lidded green eyes staring at mine, pleasure written all over his face as he was groaning lowly with a hand on my thigh. He pulled me closer to the edge of the counter, my legs up against his arms since he was too tall for me to reach his shoulders.

"Is this okay?" I nodded, breath heavy, ready for what was next. I directed him to my entrance, teasing both of us. "Are you sure? No condom? I can go take one-" I pushed him towards me by his hips, low moans from both of us.

"I'm on birth control... because of my hormones." he smiled, bending down to kiss me softly before starting to thrust into me, slowly and passionately at first, then faster.  
He gripped my thighs, his strokes getting sloppy probably because of both his closeness and the exhaustion of the day. He kissed my neck, his low moans vibrated deep inside me, as he flicked my clit quickly. My fingers dug in his back, already close to my second high, whimpering every time he reached my soft spot. Tension built somewhere deep, a buzz shaking me until I tightened around him, pleasure exploding inside of me, sending him over the edge. We stayed like that for a few more seconds, arms wrapped around each other, catching our breaths.

"I thought I was too tired to even move and yet..." we laughed, his hand holding mine as he pulled away, helping me off the kitchen counter.

"Let's take a quick shower and go to bed, yes princess?"


	19. Bad dream

We showered quickly, hot water running down our bodies, his hands massaging my neck in the attempt to relieve the tension of the hard day we both just had. He took another oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts for me to wear while I was drying my hair, my body wrapped in a towel.

"Here are your clothes, sweetie." he put them on the countertop near the sink, placing a kiss on my shoulder.

"Thank you." I couldn't stop smiling at his cute gestures, my eyes glued to his reflection on the mirror as I watched him go back to the kitchen to fix something for us to eat. 

When I sat at the table there was a huge salad waiting for me, probably the tastiest food I had ever eaten in the US besides the ones I made myself. "This is so good, probably the best salad I've ever had." 

"Or maybe, and probably, you're just hungry because you have barely eaten all day." he scoffed, his tone playful. 

"No I'm serious, I haven't had anything this good since I was back home." he chuckled at my words, probably thinking I was exaggerating. 

"Enough with the compliments." I could swear I saw him blush a little under the small freckles on the bridge of his nose, gulping down water to try and hide his slight embarrassment.

"Why?" I teased him, a smirk on my face. "Are you starting to blush too? I thought that was my thing." 

"I'm not blushing." he cleared his throat, an awkward smile on his face.

"Adorable."

"What was?" his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

"You blushing." I was enjoying this more than I wanted to admit, discovering another side of him, finally able to read deeper into him just like he did with me from the start.

"All right, all right. It's the first dish my mum taught me and I have so many good memories tied to it. Now I have one more." he smiled. "I'm glad you like it."

"Even more adorable, who would have thought?"

He reached for me, kissing me softly. 

We cuddled on the sofa for a while, zapping through channels though nothing was worth watching. I was drifting off to sleep when I felt a strong arm slipping under my legs, picking me up to bring me to bed. 

"I feel like I'm 6 again." I chuckled sleepily, remembering the times I'd fall asleep — or sometimes fake falling asleep — on the sofa while watching cartoons, my dad carefully carrying me to bed. 

"I told you you're cute." he kissed my forehead, flicking the kitchen lights off before delicately laying me on his bed, my arms outstretched waiting for him to embrace me. "Even cuter." he kissed me all over my face, making me laugh uncontrollably before I stopped him, my hands on the sides of his face. 

"Stop, I was falling asleep..." I pouted my lips, trying not to laugh more, staring at his beautiful eyes. 

"No more kisses then." he rolled on his side of the bed, me facing him. 

"Really? No more kisses?" my hand was on his chest, caressing it softly, nudging my head into the crook of his neck. 

"Exactly." he smiled, reaching down to kiss me softly, then relaxing his body, falling asleep shortly after. I stayed awake for a little longer, admiring his beauty, each feature so captivating: everything seemed so perfect and so still, the rise and fall of his chest soothing me to sleep. 

I woke up to a sharp movement right beside me, the first thing my eyes saw when I opened them was Riot's chest lifting, pulling the blanket up, cold air engulfing our bodies. I sat up next to him. 

"Are you okay? Bad dream?" he was breathing heavily, my hand on his back to reassure him as real life was pulling him up from the dream world. 

"Yeah... I'm sorry." he reached for my knee from over the blanket. 

"Don't worry," I wrapped my arm around his bicep, my thumb rubbing it slowly. "Do you want to talk about it?" 

"I just dreamed something really bad happened to you... Remember what I told you about my mom?" his eyes were on me, pupils still dilated in fear.

I nodded my head. "It's all okay, it was just a nightmare and I'm right here, safe in your arms." he touched my face gently, kissing my forehead after wrapping me in his hug. "And so you dreamed about me, huh?" I tried to break the tension, shifting the subject a little.

"It wasn't even the first time" he chuckled.

"You're such a softie." I held him close to my body, his hands running through my hair, breath finally back to steady.

"I'm going to get some water, stay right here." he smiled at me.

"As if I could or would want to go anywhere." I chuckled at his words. When he came back Frida had joined us in bed, kneading the blanket to try and find a good position to sleep in. Riot crawled back into bed, nestling his head in the crook of my neck, an arm wrapped around me as I kissed him softly, playing with his long, curly locks until he fell asleep.

Waking up next to him was pure bliss, his relaxed face radiating a bright aura. His arm was still around me, our positions pretty much the same as when we fell back asleep, our bodies probably too tired to even move. My mind went back to what happened a few hours earlier; knowing he was scared for me, that he dreamed about me more than once, made my heart flutter. Thinking someone cared about me as much as he did after so much time was almost unbelievable, and so was the fact that he might even feel the same way about me. I looked at his hand. This time I wasn't scared to gently touch his long, soft fingers, intertwining them with my own, my thumb rubbing on the skin on the back of his hand. I felt it squeeze mine, his eyes opening just slightly, the corners of his lips curling up. "Morning."

"Morning beautiful," he yawned, looking like a puppy. "I'm sorry about the nightmare."

"There's nothing to be sorry about, last time I checked they were pretty uncontrollable." I smiled when he chuckled at my words, his morning voice raspy and low.

"Breakfast?" he softly kissed my neck, a breathy moan escaping my mouth unexpectedly.

"Sure." I sat up in bed, kissing his nose.

I was in the kitchen feeding Frida when he received a call, quickly jogging to the bedroom to answer his phone, closing the door behind his back. I heard a thump and got worried, unable to work out what was going on. When he came out of the room he seemed worried, my heart started racing as he spoke. "I have to tell you something." This was surely not the tone I was dreaming of hearing in his voice while saying those exact words. I braced myself, inhaling deeply. "I'm in danger." My heart skipped a beat, confusion in my head as I tried to imagine what possibly happened.

"H-how? I thought you and your team had a plan for everything..."

"We weren't expecting this. Last night the cops managed to take off one of my arm protectors while I was fighting one of them, exposing my tattoos." I was speechless, trying to register his words. "I was just on the phone with Tank, he's able to listen and control the police scanner. He said they're searching for a black man with a snake tattoo-"

"No, this can't be happening, do you guys think they have a lead or something and it could trace back to you?" I was in denial, my voice breaking. 

"I don't know yet, we'll keep the situation under control as much as we can but it's not safe for me, nor for the team... And it's not safe for you to be here or around me either."

My heart crushed under the weight of his heavy words, hurting more than a punch, my thoughts in disarray. I tucked my hair behind my ears, pacing nervously around the room with my eyes fixed to the floor, eventually heading to the bedroom. I slipped on the dress and shoes I was wearing the night of our date, something I was already regretting in the back of my mind, then went into the kitchen, luring Frida to get into the cat carrier. Once she was in I went to the door, ignoring the tears that were begging me to be released, gulping hard to swallow the lump in my throat. I couldn't bring myself to even look at him, afraid of what his expression was like in this exact moment, scared it would be the only one I'd remember. "Stay safe."


	20. Unavailable

I heard him swear as soon as I closed the door behind me, though unusual of him, a pan loudly hitting the ground.

I waited for the elevator, hoping it would come soon, seconds going by like hours. Part of me was wishing he would open the door and let me back in and never leave me again. My eyes were closed, hands trembling as I pushed the button to get to the ground floor. The doorman who let me in the previous night luckily finished his shift and was now replaced by a young man who opened the door for me.

I hesitated before stepping outside of the building, scared something in the world would shift if I took that step. But absolutely nothing changed, besides my heartache getting worse. I fought the urge of looking up at his apartment to see if he was there making sure I was safe just like he did a few nights earlier.  
Everything was going well after such a long time of struggling to get adjusted to my new life, followed by scary times, especially for my family back home. _How did he become so important to me in such a small time? Why did I ever decide to let him in this quickly? Why did I have to realise how deep my feelings went if this was to happen the next day?_ I quickly walked through the streets, uncaring of whatever was happening around me, barely seeing people passing by, headed home. Home. I wish I was headed home. _But what was home if the last time I truly felt home before of his embraces was back in Italy?_ I felt stuck, lost in a city I didn't really know nor belong to.

I got home half an hour after I left his place. My apartment was almost unrecognizable, plants definitely needing more care, curtains drawn in the middle of the morning, the freesias he got me still fresh and beautiful. I let Frida out of the cat carrier and plunged myself on the sofa. _Did it really just happen?_ My eyes filled with tears, sobs escaping me uncontrollably as I held myself, pain in my stomach and chest. _Was he going to be okay? What would happen if the police managed to find him?_ I felt a deep ache to my heart thinking about the worst, knowing how badly they would treat him if they managed to find him through surveillance cameras, no matter how careful he had been with everything.

I checked my phone, a message from my sister dated the previous night, asking me how my date went. Great timing. I pursed my lips, wiping tears away from my face only for them to flow down my cheeks again.

[sorry for my late reply, i was busy having the best date of my life to then have my heart broken]

She replied almost instantly.  
[ WHAT?? im going to call you ]

I was just about to tell her I was a complete mess and surely not in the right mind for a video call when my phone buzzed.

"I'm going to fly over there and hurt them with my own hands, I swear to god."

"Hello to you too sister." I sniffled, smiling softly at her protective ways.

"Babe, tell me what happened." She had a worried look on her face, probably seeing my already red and swollen eyes.

"What do you want me to say? He was the nicest guy I've ever met and I realised I had feelings for him just before he called it quits."

"Why would he ever? Did something happen?"

"It's too complicated to explain, he's just..." I glanced around the room, searching for the right word. _In danger? Protective? Scared? Too good?_ I wanted with all the cells in my body to just tell her he was one of the guys she had seen in the videos online, but I couldn't as it was too risky. I closed my eyes, knowing I had to bear most of this on my own. "Unavailable."

"Oh that's it, I'm getting on the first flight."

I snorted, she always managed to make me feel at least a little bit better and I missed that a lot. "There aren't any. I'll be okay, you know I've been through worse..."

"I do, but it doesn't mean you aren't hurting right now," she always knew what to say. I nodded, my brows furrowing as heavy tears dropped from my eyes to my knees, my body curled up in a ball. "So you were on a date for two whole days?"

"Well..." I stalled, trying to work out what I should and shouldn't have said. "He came to pick me up though it wasn't planned, bought me flowers, put one in my hair..." I couldn't help but smile, though everything was also hurting me deeply, knowing I probably lost it all. "He let me in his candlelit house, prepared dinner for us, full Italian because he knew how much I'm missing home... He was so gentle with everything, you know?" my voice broke, sobs constricting my throat.

"He sounds nice but, be it for the spoilers, I don't trust him." she laughed softly, showing compassion while trying to ease my pain. "You slept together?"

I was silent for a moment, embarrassed to be talking about it with my sister. Eventually, I nodded, smiling to myself as I was fidgeting with my rings. "He was perfect in that too. We slept together a few days earlier but nothing happened, he just needed a place to stay because it wasn't safe outside."

"Okay that's kinda cute. Then what? Does he have a girlfriend? Or worse is he married? Is that why he can't have you?"

I chuckled at her words. "No, the situation is just complicated. It's not a big deal, I just need a few days so I can get over it."

"I need to go, but please take care of yourself, okay? I'm here if you need me, even if miles away." we hung up, both on the verge of tears.

I changed into something comfy, then sat back onto the sofa eating biscuits and scrolling the news on my phone, flooded with pictures and videos from the protests: people pushed to the ground by officers, police cars in flames, lootings and vandalism, protesters kneeling in front of the police. By now all 50 states were revolting against abuse of power and the movement was spreading rapidly, influencing and inspiring other nations.  
An article reported exactly what was happening next to me the previous day, the man hammering at the concrete. There was a video attached and I watched it, curious to see the scene from another perspective. The man was tackled by protesters and brought to the police, who did actually pin him to the ground. To my surprise, the reporter didn't fail to catch Riot on tape. My jaw dropped as I gasped, heart aching again. I saw him stomping in front of the police before the camera was turned back on the officers' actions. People were shouting on the side, camera focusing again on Riot, only this time I was there too. I felt like that wasn't me at all, unrecognisable under the gear. I was pulling him away, shielding him. My mind went back to the exact emotions I felt in that moment, a sharp pain stabbing me right in the stomach, chills all over my body.  
_Would anything be different now if I stayed there with him?_ Maybe I could have helped, distracted the police so he wouldn't be in danger. I even preferred the thought of getting arrested myself over what we were living right now. Sure, I risked both my visa, education, the relationship that was just starting, but all of it was better than knowing he was at risk. I was crying again, fists clenched so hard my knuckles turned white. I felt shocked by everything that happened in the last week, angry at him for not wanting me to be with him during this hard situation. I didn't care if he was pushing me away to protect me, _if I truly meant something he would have wanted to fight with me on his side, right?_

I scanned the fridge for something to eat, not because I was hungry, but because I knew it would keep me occupied a little; it was almost empty though, so I decided to go out for grocery shopping, slipping trousers and a random t-shirt on before taking a few tote bags and heading out.  
The flowers on the side of the street reminded me of the mental note I had made a few days earlier, so I went in, the wind chime releasing a sweet melody in the air as the front door opened and closed.

"Good morning, Jianyu." the old florist had his back to the door, arranging a colourful bouquet, his face mask hanging from his right ear.

"Good morning, Alice!" the surprised tone in his voice every time he spoke to me never failed to make me smile. "How are you?"

"Pushing on..." I paused for a second, brushing off all my bad thoughts. "How are things with you? Is it better now you reopened your shop?"

"Much nicer now, flowers make life beautiful." he smiled widely, nodding his head slightly. "He is a good one."

I was confused for a moment, _did I get lost in my thoughts and missed something he said?_ "Sorry?"

"Your man, the other evening. He came in after you smelled freesias and got those exact flowers. He told me you were really special to him, he must like you a lot. Then I saw him waiting for you, you make a really cute couple." he was laughing softly, his expression innocent.

I was taken aback with everything he was saying, Riot back in my mind, filling my every thought, my heart feeling like a wound that never really healed just reopened. "Oh." I smiled, trying to contain my tears though it was almost impossible.

"What is it, dear? It didn't go well?"

"It went perfectly, but something else happened and we can't really be together..." the sound of my own words hurt me.

He sighed, a smile appearing back on his face. "If it's meant to be, your paths will cross again and it will be." his wise words gave me a little hope in something that was pretty much impossible to happen, making me smile a little as a tear escaped the corner of my eye.

"Thank you, really." I was sure my nose turned red in the attempt to hold back the river, eyes to the floor in embarrassment.

"Are you going shopping? Come back here on the way home, I have something for you."


	21. Special delivery

An hour later I was back home, a beautiful monstera added to my collection of plants. Jianyu's kindness never failed to inspire me and make me feel like some good things still happened in the mess this world was, so, as I usually do, I slipped a 20 dollar bill in the donation box near the shop checkout when he was distracted, knowing he would have used it to help a dog shelter he works at when he's not taking care of flowers.

I got a message while I was tidying my kitchen up after the grocery shopping, Frida circling my legs waiting for cuddles; when I checked, my sister dmed me:

[forget all your pain, look how hot they are 🥵]

When I tapped on the video, it was the same one I had watched a few hours earlier, Riot and me in front of the police line. People in the comments were mistaking him for Tank since Riot has dreads in the videos that went viral, others were saying they are the same person because the voices are pretty similar, a few of them were talking about the mysterious girl shielding him, making theories about who it was, speculating about a possible relationship, saying her name was Athena. I had no idea why or how they could ever know about it, but it freaked me out so much I slapped my phone on the kitchen counter and took a few steps back. I tried to catch my breath, hands trembling slightly. I searched for my nickname in the search bar, discovering many more people were talking about the same topic, some insulting me for touching their newfound obsession's arm, others wishing they were me, some others obsessing over me, trying to find more videos. It was the weirdest thing that ever happened to me, I would have never thought in my wildest dreams that one day people would have talked about me on the Internet, not this way for sure. Especially when I had been one of the invisibles my whole life. The whole thing made me miss Riot even more. I craved his touch, his arms around me, his kisses, the way he'd make me feel special and strong with just a word. _Was I ever going to see him again? Feel like that again?_

I felt crushed, in need of a nap to try and forget it all for at least a while, so I laid on my bed, sheets still smelling of him. I tried to ignore it but my heart couldn't take it, so I moved to the sofa, Frida jumping on my tummy, soothing me a little. I drifted off to sleep weeping silently, tears drying on my cheeks.

* * *

It had been a few days of compulsively checking my phone for notifications though I knew I'd never get the ones I was wishing I'd receive. I was working hard to build my new armour, trying to protect myself from the next person who would hurt me. It was still impossible not to think about him, his green eyes pierced to my brain, his smile appearing each and every time I'd blink. I went back to my little quarantine routine, baking bread, exercising a little, doing anything to keep myself occupied. I even went back to studying, kind of forcing myself into being motivated. I was analysing a few renaissance paintings when my bell rang.

"Yes?"

"Special delivery." a manly voice spoke from the other side of the intercom.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Are you sure it's for me? I'm not expecting any package." The person repeated my name, adorably mispronouncing my Italian last name. "Okay, I'll be downstairs in a second." When I got to the ground floor a tall, muscly man was waiting for me with a brown box in his hands. I opened the glass doorway, noticing he had a trans pride pin and one with "he/him" pronouns on the shoulder straps of his backpack. I smiled at him, greeting with a high pitched, way too friendly "Hi" even though I didn't mean it to sound that way. "Do I need to sign anything?"

"No thank you, have a good day." he smiled at me, motioning a two fingers salute before riding his bike. I suddenly realised he was on a bike and didn't have a van like delivery workers usually do. I watched him disappear down the street, then headed back to my apartment, questions running through my head.

The package was a little suspicious, heavy in my hands for its dimensions. I carefully opened it, trying not to damage anything on the inside.  
A Greek and Roman mythology book, some watercolours, a box of Italian chocolates I haven't found once in my stay here. My heart was beating fast, pretty sure the package was from either a really creepy stalker who found out my identity after the other day's video went viral or the man I hadn't been able to shake off my mind for a whole week. My doubts were swept away as soon as I opened the book, a small, yellow post-it attached to the first page:

"I'm truly sorry for the inconvenience, I'm working on a solution. I hope you're doing well, see you soon. x"

 _Doing well._ I scoffed, my heart divided into the joy of finally having a sign he was safe and sound and the anger his words provoked in me. He was hoping I was okay despite everything that went on, as if none of what happened mattered, like his life wasn't in danger. And yeah, I was doing okay just before opening the box, while now everything was back in my head.  
I pursed my lips, trying to resist the temptation of opening the box of chocolates, leafing through the book. It was really interesting, reminding me of the good old elementary school days, my passion for art and mythology developing quickly. The book was filled with beautiful pictures of statues and various depictions of every deity, as well as the different versions of the myths tied to each of them. I couldn't help but smile when I reached Athena's part, the description matching exactly what he told me a few nights earlier. I closed my eyes, reliving those few instants: my anger dissolving the moment he held me in his arms, watching his long fingers fixing a couple of delicious sandwiches, his breath hot on my neck, words shaking me to the core, my hands attracting his face to mine, lips colliding for the first time. My heart jolted just like it did when it happened, the tip of my forefinger lightly grazing my bottom lip, imagining his. I sighed happily, disoriented with all the emotions I was feeling, torn between want and should.

 _Why worrying when I have chocolate?_ I opened the box just like I did when I was a kid, almost as excited as I felt opening gifts at Christmas. The taste brought me back to more than 4000 miles away, a million memories resurfacing in my mind. I hated him for having this type of influence on me, for affecting me in such a powerful way. But the line between hate and love has always been thin.


	22. Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: abuse and rape mention.
> 
> If you feel uncomfortable reading about this you can skip the part when Riot is explaining what his tattoo represents, it's just 1 paragraph long so you can keep reading right after that.  
>   
> Sorry if my fic isn't as smutty and interesting as others, I just wanted to explore the characters in more depth and experiment with it all since it's my first time writing, I hope it's not boring you. x)
> 
> I'm also going to take the chance to thank you all so much for your love, I truly appreciate every comment and kudos I receive and even every hit, they all inspire me to keep on writing.
> 
> Much love, artemisiae 🖤

It was now a few hours into the afternoon, Frida playing with the shadow the leaves of the tree outside the living room's window cast on the wooden floor, moving in a light breeze. I decided to try out the watercolours Riot had just gifted me, a vast variety of colours in every shade appearing on the palette. It was one of the best qualities around, the colours flowing so perfectly, beautiful bright pigments on the half of an old canvas. I realised I was out of new, clean ones, the shut down of shops making it impossible for my creativity to run free during quarantine. But the situation was now different and the shops were open. I decided to head out and buy some, a new kind of energy in my body, creativity back in my system.  
I distractedly stepped outside the door, almost bumping on the tall figure who was standing just outside of it. My eyes widened, jaw dropped, brain completely frozen, unable to say a word. He was standing there, kind of startled by the fact that he couldn't even get ready to knock on the door, shiny green eyes stuck on me, the light stubble on his jaw and chin now more evident.

"Hey- sorry were you heading out?" he seemed nervous, the sound of his voice resonating in my head a thousand times in just a few seconds.

"Yeah, I was in fact." I was so shocked my voice didn't even sound my own, tone way too blunt. There were a million thoughts in my mind, a million things I wanted to do.

"I can come back later if you'd like, I don't mind." he said it casually, like he had all the time in the world.

I closed my eyes, sighing. I was scared of what could happen, afraid I'd only get hurt again. "Come in." I held the door open, waiting for him to get in. He glanced around the apartment as if it was the first time he saw it, then turned to me, slapping his fist with his other hand.

"How are you?" he said it softly, my heart fluttering at the sound of his voice.

I laughed bitterly, hands on the table for support. "Next question, please?"

He paused, taking in a big breath before speaking. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen."

"You can't just walk in and out of someone's life, it's not fair." I was spurting out random sentences I told myself for the past few days to try and find reasons to move on.

"You know that's not what I was doing." and he was right, it was a half-truth I was telling myself in order to protect myself. My eyes fixed the floor avoiding his gaze, throat stinging, my armour back down even though I was trying to be strong. "I know it's been hard, it was for me too." I looked at him, green eyes now kind of teary.

"I could have been there if you let me. That's what hurt me the most, along with the fact that your life was at risk." I was breathing heavily, my heart beating rapidly, head feeling a little dizzy.

"I know but it wasn't safe, if anything happened to you I... I don't know what I would have done, it would have been too much for me." he paced a little, almost inches away from me. My eyes dropped at his hands, memories of the first time I saw them, grazed them, held them, running through my mind. He bent down so he could look at me, his hands on my shoulders. "I'm truly sorry, please believe me. Everything is okay now."

"How do you know?" I couldn't keep my tears to myself, big drops falling to my chest.

"We have everything under control, they don't have anything leading to me." there was a mild smile on his lips, his eyes kind and expressive.

"Your tattoo though..." he let go of me, taking a step back. He rolled his sleeve up to his elbow and showed me the inside of his forearm, plastic wrap around it, skin red and swollen. I touched it gently, eyes meeting his in awe.

"Do you like it?" the corners of his lips curled up. The snake tattoo was now covered by a much bigger one depicting the famous statue of Athena by Phidias with her Medusa shield, inspired by Caravaggio's. I wiped a tear away with my hand, sniffling lightly.

"No... I love it" I smiled at him, chuckling softly, imagining exactly the meaning behind all of it. His smile was big and bright, hand lightly grazing mine, making me shiver.

"Can we sit down?" he motioned to the sofa as I nodded at him, sitting right beside him. "I don't know if you opened the package I sent you this morning but there's my favourite book in there."

"I did, it's beautiful. So are the watercolours. And thanks for the chocolates, they're one of my favourites." that was it, absolutely nothing had changed between us. It's like nothing happened, bad days swept away like dust, anger dissolved the moment our skins touched.

"I'm happy you like it all." his voice was full of excitement, something I hadn't heard yet, fingers touching mine. "Back to the mythology book, you already know Athena's characteristics and you probably know already why I decided to get it tattooed..." his eyes were low at first, then turned to me, smiling through his slight embarrassment. "Many people think Athena punished Medusa by turning her hair into snakes and giving her the power of turning men into stone because Poseidon was attracted to her and they had an affair though Medusa vowed celibacy." I was hanging on his lips just like a kid listening to someone's story, though I already knew where the speech was going. "Not many people know that she was actually raped by Poseidon, and Athena's curse wasn't a punishment at all. She did it to protect her from further abuse at the hands of other men."

"Weird how patriarchy always tried to pit women against each other, huh? I think it's the most beautiful tattoo story I've ever heard." I was smiling at him, my heart beating fast because all my mind and body were telling me was to kiss him.

"Of course it's beautiful, and not just the story... it represents the most important women in my life." I nodded slightly, eyes on the tattoo, feeling suddenly shy. "Alice, I'm in love with you."  
I glanced up at him as soon as he called my name, his eyes shining a beautiful light as he said the words. My heart jumped in my chest, regaining all the hope I had lost.

"I love you too, Ri-" he interrupted me.

"Andre, the name is Andre." smile wide, lips making me want to kiss him even more.

"I love you, Andre." I cupped his cheek, grazing it lightly with my thumb. Our eyes stared at each others' lips just a second before crashing onto each other. It was even better than the first time, his hands sliding from my sides to my back, softly pulling my body into his, my arm gently wrapping around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. I felt him smile against me, quickly pulling away to stare into each other's eyes. To my surprise, I wasn't the one crying now. His beautiful eyes were teary but full of joy. "Are you okay?" I had to bite my lip to keep myself from smiling too much.

"Much more than okay, it's the first time I'm feeling this way, the first time I'm saying these words." his emotions were pouring out of every expression he made, making me fall deeper in love with him.

"You're adorable." I chuckled, kissing him softly to then hold him close to my body. "So what are the next plans?"


	23. Lucky

"I was thinking we could spend a lot of time together just to make up for the last few days, you know?" he had an irresistible grin on his face. 

"Mhm, I like this plan a lot." I gave a quick peck on his soft lips. "How about work?" 

"I have a few free days after tonight, I'm not going on the field again anytime soon. We all need to keep on the low, it was getting too risky. Instead, I'll focus on the usual stuff, we have a big thing going on."

"What is it?" I asked, curious. 

"You'll see soon, it's a really serious issue." he looked like it was really important and I hoped with every cell in my body he was going to be safe. 

"Do they still trust you?" I was suddenly worried. 

"Yes, they do. They just want to protect us so we don't get in trouble. If some of us will still go to the protests we'll ask people not to spread videos online."

"I get it... My sister is going to miss you all." I chuckled, thinking about her thirsting over their videos. "You know, a reporter caught us on camera the other day and she sent me the video saying something like «look at them and forget your heartache.»" I pursed my lips, rolling my eyes. He snorted lightly. 

"Well, that's proof you were unrecognisable under all the gear," he kissed me close to my lips, making me smile. "Still beautiful though." I had truly missed his compliments, though I was never quite used to them.

"It's still scary that people knew my nickname."

"Somebody must have heard us talking, Tank called me saying your nickname when you were feeling unwell and he told me there was a group of people pretty close to him." it made sense, anxiety and weight finally lifting off my chest. 

"Right, I hadn't thought about that. I still can't believe my sister has no idea that one of the men under the helmets and the one I made tiramisù for are the same person, she would be so shocked if she knew." I nestled my head in the crook of his neck, closing my eyes, finally feeling at home again. 

"I bet." he was softly playing with my hair, his heartbeat drumming quietly in my right ear. "You were heading out earlier, was it important?" 

"Not as much as this," I cuddled more into him, hearing him chuckle. "I was going to buy some canvases to paint with the watercolours you just gave me." he jumped lightly in excitement, craning his neck to look at me. 

"Then let's go, we can buy as many as you like." the tone in his voice made me even happier, a soft kiss on my forehead. He took my hands in his, standing up and pulling me in the same position as him, both chuckling. His hands found my hips, the closeness of our bodies sparking something in both of us. "I missed you."

I stood on my tiptoes trying to reach his lips. "I missed you too." He scratched behind Frida's ear while I texted my sister about the good news, then we left my apartment to head to the art shop, face masks covering our noses and mouths, his soft hand intertwined with mine. 

The art shop was a rare gem I found a few blocks away from my apartment, not only it sold art supplies, but also had a section with antiques and second-hand objects. We roamed around the aisles, his fingers occasionally pointing at a set of brushes or easels he thought I could be interested in, adding them to the cart though I said I wasn't looking for them. 

"Why are you like this?" I joked, looking up at him. 

"Like this how?" I could see he was smirking even with the mask on and that was enough to tell me he knew exactly what I was hinting at. 

"Like this." I motioned at the cart, suffocating a laugh. 

"Is it a bad thing to want to spoil my girl?" he lowered a little to reach my ear, his voice deep. 

"Your girl." I repeated, savouring the words. 

"Exactly." he put his hand on my side, pulling me closer to him. 

I was checking out some coloured pencils when I felt an unfamiliar hand on my lower back, a man walking past me. It always got on my nerves, whether it was done to me or someone else. 

"Sir, there was plenty of space, what was that for?" my tone was full of anger. 

"Sorry?" the man turned around, his manners smug, even more irritating. 

"There was no reason for you to touch my back, there's enough space in here I think?" 

I felt Andre walking closer to me. "Is there a problem here? Did you just inappropriately touch my girl?" he protectively stepped in front of me. 

"What the fuck do you want?" the man's voice was brusque. 

"For you not to touch people without consent, you stupid troglodyte." he towered over him, fists clenching, the man backing away like a coward. I held Andre's wrist, pulling him back to me. 

"Andre it's okay, please don't do anything stupid, he's not worth it." he was breathing heavily, eyes fixed on the man who was walking away. "Andre please, look at me."

"Why the hell do they feel entitled to do things like that?" he looked at me, expression softening a little. 

"You ask me... They're trash." I shrugged. "If it's not that it could be catcalling, weird comments, unsolicited photos, feeling unwanted eyes on us, subtle sentences... the rest is even worse."

"I'm truly sorry you all have to go through that, I know these things happen way too frequently and I wish I could teach them all a lesson once and for all. Is it okay if I hug you?" 

"Of course it is." he managed to calm me down so easily, and it seemed to be mutual because a soft smile was painted on his plump lips, mask down on his chin trying to catch his breath. "How did I get so lucky?" 

"I'm pretty sure I'm the lucky one." he chuckled against my neck, arms wrapped around my body making me feel safe. 

When we reached the second-hand part of the store he spent a good ten minutes hunting through old vinyls and carefully looking at acoustic and electric guitars, my eyes admiring every movement as if I was in a theatre watching a ballet. My arm wrapped around his when we reached the checkout, canvases, brushes, a few vinyls on the counter. "You like Queen?" 

"I love them, but these are for my mom. They're her favourite band and I've grown up listening to them so..."

"That's such a cute idea. I love them too, you know?"

"She's going to love you." He smiled. "How do you feel about a little road trip?"


	24. Come here

"A road trip?" I'm pretty sure my eyes were shining in excitement. "I would love it." The cashier interrupted us, distractedly collecting our payments and saying our goodbyes. "Where are we going? And when?" I was as excited as a kid, a million questions popping up in my mind as we were heading out of the store.

"Tomorrow. It's the first time I have free days in a while and I haven't seen my mom in so long, would it be okay with you?" he was joyful, arm reaching around me though he was carrying all of the things he just got in his strong hands.

I looked up at him nervously, thinking this would have been such a big step for the both of us. "Really? That's a huge thing, are you sure?"

"It doesn't have to be a big deal, it's not like I'm asking you to marry me or something," he chuckled to himself, avoiding my gaze probably to hide a little shyness. "You're important to me and she already knows that, she said she would love to meet you."

"It's the same to me, really. I'm just a little nervous, you know?" he nodded, avoiding my eyes. "Anyway yes, I'm coming with you." I saw his eyes squinting, giving me the impression he was smiling so big.

"This might be the best day of my life." his happy tone melted my heart. We were approaching my building when he turned to me. "Remember the delivery guy from this morning?"

"Yeah, what about him?" I looked at him, a questioning expression on my face.

"His nickname is Alpha. He's my best friend, we've known each other for years and he's also in the team." he tilted his head, waiting for me to say something.

"He seemed really nice. I found it weird that he was on a bike, that's why I was kind of scared opening the package. I should have thought about that." I was putting the pieces together, his chuckle in the background.

"Do you mind if we go back to mine for a second so I can grab my luggage for tomorrow and my laptop? It's going to be a big night."

"Oh, so you're moving in my apartment?" I teased him, opening the trunk of his car so he could finally free his hands. One of them reached my face, pulling my face mask down, his lips suddenly on mine with passion, a hand reaching for the small of my back.

"Do you really mind?" his eyes stared at mine, his intense expression taking me by surprise, leaving me breathless and speechless. "Thought so." he gave a quick peck on my lips, then moved to open the passenger's car door for me. "Miss?"

"Sir?" I mocked his tone while getting in the car, a smirk on his plump lips.

Half an hour later we were back in my apartment, his strong hands dusting the vinyls he got earlier while I was getting my canvas ready, sketching a pretty landscape I had once seen during a vacation when I was back in Italy. Once in a while, he'd come behind me to see how I was doing, hands on my shoulders, sometimes massaging my back, a few kisses on my neck, asking a thousand questions on the subject I chose and my favourite mediums. I felt over the moon, struggling to understand how I had felt so bad for days while now I was the happiest person on earth. I occasionally caught myself getting lost in thought, a smile on my face while looking at him as he was on his laptop, a serious and focused expression on his face, jaw clenching probably as a reflex.

"What are you working on?" a hand under my chin, paintbrush between my teeth.

"Can't say that. But you'll see soon, this thing is terrible and huge." his eyes were fixed on his laptop screen, fingers typing fast.

"So mysterious... Do you want some rosé?" I got up, reaching the cupboard for two chalices and opening the fridge to get the bottle.

"Yes, thank you." his attention was finally back at me while I sat on the table, handing him a glass, the setting sun colouring the whole room a beautiful peachy colour. He was smiling at me while taking a sip, his hand on my thigh, tracing the bare skin gently.

"Why are you smiling at me like that?" again he was glowing in the sunlight, each and every one of his features making my heart flutter, butterflies heavy in my stomach.

"I'm just so happy. I thought I had lost you and instead, here we are." he reached for my lips, mouth tasting of love and desire and wine. "You're beautiful."

"Shut up, you're clearly the gorgeous one in here." I kissed him so he wouldn't say anything else, hiding a little bit of shyness, only stopping for my buzzing phone, followed by Andre's slight groan. "Sorry, it's my sister." he nodded his head, an excited look on his face.

She quickly muttered in Italian asking if he was still there with me and spoke in English as soon as I gestured a yes. "Hurt my sister again and I'll hurt you with my own hands." She had a satisfied face, her words shocking me.

"Ale stop, it was a misunderstanding." I tried to keep the situation under control, Andre standing up from his seat to come behind me, waving at my sister. "Andre, this is Alessandra, my little sister. Ale, Andre."

He was smiling, arm reaching around my back holding me gently, chin on my shoulder. "Nice to meet you, I know you probably don't have a really good impression of me but hopefully your sister told you the good sides too."

She was silent for a moment, looking at him in surprise. "She did, that's why I'm warning you. She doesn't deserve to get hurt so next time I'm coming right there."

He laughed, my heart beating fast. "I promise I'll try my best. It might be hard to believe right now but she's in pretty good hands." Frida meowed at us, Andre crouching down to pick her up.

"Aww the three of you are pretty cute together." we all laughed, the conversation flowing smoothly from there on, updating each other about what was going on in our lives while Andre was cooking dinner, exploring my kitchen for tools and foods, occasionally making physical contact and making me shiver under his touch.

"Dinner smells delicious once again." I put my arms around his waist, watching over his arm to see what he was cooking, tagliatelle with pesto almost ready, a salad with olives, tomatoes and carrots waiting to be chopped and sliced.

"I hope I'm doing this right, Miss Italy." he laughed, a hand on mine.

"I'll tell you later, big man. Let me help with the salad." once I was done seasoning it with oil, salt and a few spices, I set the table and waited for him to join me. "Okay, pasta tastes kind of different but it's so good nonetheless. It might be the type of pasta, I don't think I've ever had tagliatelle al pesto before." he laughed, repeating my Italian words to mock me. "Say that again, please?"

"Why?" he chuckled nervously, head low, eyes staring at me.

I shrugged. "I just find it adorable when foreign people try to speak my mother tongue."

"That's not true, you just want to mock me back." he was smirking at me.

"How dare you think I'm so mean?" I was giggling, trying not to choke on my pasta. We spent the rest of the evening talking about the first things that would come to our minds, a couple more glasses of wine making me inebriated with love, the pain we felt in the past days now just a distant memory. We cleaned the table as I offered to wash the dishes since he cooked for us, so he could go back to finishing his work. He was sitting on the sofa with his laptop on his thighs, as I played some music, dancing in the kitchen as if nobody could see me.

"Hey you." I pocked at his cheek, sitting beside him, one of my tucked legs on his thick thigh.

"Hey." his lips curled up, a finger under my chin. "You're so beautiful... And definitely drunk." he chuckled.

I laughed loudly and uncontrollably. "I know, and you know how I usually feel when I'm drunk?" I got closer to his ear, whispering for an unknown reason. "Either sleepy, needy or horny. Or all of them. So you either come dance with me or take me to bed." I kissed him eagerly, his hand moving some strands of hair out of my forehead.

"Alice, you're drunk." he bit his lip, trying to contain himself.

"Yes and I want you."

"Yeah, me too. But not tonight princess, you're wasted."

"Please?" I gave him my best doe eyes, caressing his face.

"Come here." he kissed my forehead, then brought me to his chest, combing my hair with his fingers until I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up about three hours later in the same exact position, my head hurting slightly, Andre's chest rising and falling under it, mouth agape as he was sleeping adorably. I reached for my phone to check the time, noticing the news were flooded with articles: Anonymous exposed Trump and dozens of the most disparate celebrities, from royal family members, to models, to actors and singers, to be involved in a huge child trafficking ring, plus a series of other accusations over the president of the United States. My jaw dropped, disgusted with every word typed on those articles, tweets, posts.

It was everywhere. It was huge. And the reason they were talking about it was sleeping right next to me.


	25. Future

"Andre?" my voice was raspy, probably because I had too much to drink and I hadn't had any water in hours. I touched his arm gently, trying to wake him up. "Andre wake up."

"What is it?" he could barely keep his eyes open, a funny expression on his face though his arm was safely holding me.

"We fell asleep like this, shall we go to bed?" he rubbed his eyes, yawning.

"Aye madam we shall." he did his best British impression, stretching his arms as I stood up and faced him.

"Congrats." I smiled at him, excited.

"On what?" he looked puzzled, trying to remember what happened before we fell asleep.

"The huge thing. It's all over the news." he jumped towards his laptop, typing quickly, a surprised grin on his face.

"This is how we change the world, baby." he winked at me awkwardly, earning a laugh. "If he doesn't allow things to change now, then when is he going to?"

"I can't believe I'm dating you." I turned around shaking my head, heading for the bedroom when his hand clutched at my wrist.

"And why?" he was suddenly serious, his eyes demanding of an answer. I shrugged and snorted lightly.

"Because you're a literal genius who's changing the world and I'm just me."

"That's right, you're just you. That's enough. And it's amazing, beautiful, strong, inspiring and so many other things I can't list and have yet to discover." he brought me closer to him by my hips, firm hands on my sides, eyes looking up at me. "I love you." he placed a kiss on my stomach, over my shirt, my heart drumming loud against my rib cage as I closed my eyes. I ran my fingers in his gorgeous thick hair, bending down to kiss the tip of his nose.

"I love you too. Let's go to bed now?"  
He got undressed, stopping quickly in the bathroom to then come back to bed as I was chugging down water, finally feeling reborn. We fell asleep soon after, cuddling into each other, the closeness of our skins touching creating an intimacy I had never felt before in my life.  
I woke up to kisses on my cheeks and an intense smell of coffee, excitement for our trip giving me adrenaline.

"Breakfast in bed? Really? You're such a gentleman." I couldn't stop smiling, rolling on the bed to face him.

"Anything for you, princess." he reached for my hand, leaning in to kiss my neck, a moan escaping my lips, my free hand reaching his hair. "You like that?" his tone was low, lips back on my neck right after.

"Coffee? Yeah, I love it." I teased him, trying to keep my breath steady though his kisses were sending a wave of pure pleasure through my entire body.

"Great, let's have coffee then." he moved away from me, leaving me breathless and craving, a smirk on his face.

"Stop torturing me like that." I frowned, pouting my lips and reaching for my cup of coffee and a biscuit that he previously put on a tray.

"I'm not doing anything of the sort." he sipped on his coffee, giving me a side look.

"Right, I must be just imagining then." I finished my breakfast, quickly getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom. "You won't be mad if I shower alone then." I blew him a kiss, closing and locking the door behind me, wanting to give him a taste of his own medicine. I showered like I was in a rush, in fear I'd be late for the big day he planned. When I got out of the bathroom he was still on the bed, biting his lip as his eyes were on my body, still wet and wrapped in a towel, heading to the closet. "What am I going to wear to meet your mother?" I directed the question to him but I was trying to ignore him and his intense gaze on me. I got a blue flowery sundress I had rarely worn, uncomfortable at the thought it would show too much skin. I held it against my front and turned to him. "How is this?"

"I think perfect is the right word." he was looking at me up and down, his eyes intense. I scoffed, throwing the dress on the bed, getting a blouse and elegant trousers.

"Maybe this is better?" he smiled seeing this other outfit, running a hand in his hair in frustration, struggling to sit on the bed.

"It's great too... You should wear the dress now and bring the other outfit so you can wear it tomorrow." he smiled at me, coming my way. Soon one of his hands found my hip, the other travelling up the towel to unhook it, letting it fall to the ground. I was staring at him, reading desire, love and lust on his face. He kissed me eagerly, a hand sliding down my back to find my ass, his hardness on my stomach. I bit my lip to contain my moans.

"You don't want us to be late, do you?" I hated myself for stopping us once again, but I wanted to see his reaction, see what he would do or say. He groaned and let his head fall back.

"You're going to regret this, honey." he walked to the bathroom, water running shortly after, my teeth digging into my bottom lip thinking of all the things he could have done to punish me. I changed, packed the outfits we just chose and something for the nights we'd spent at his mother's, then got Frida's stuff ready.  
He got out of the bathroom already dry and completely naked, my jaw dropping as I was staring at him from the kitchen.

"Like what you see?" he was smirking, gaze fixed on mine.

"I hate you." I laughed at him, turning away not to give in to his temptations. I leaned on the bedroom door watching him get ready, his toned body beaming in the morning light, flexing with every movement, looking like a Greek statue. He wore some simple black trousers, tight on his thighs and buttocks, a light blue button-up shirt that highlighted his green eyes, a diamond earring on his left earlobe, spraying the best perfume I've ever had the pleasure to smell, the same one my brain was intoxicated with. "You're gorgeous." I was smiling at him, feeling butterflies in my stomach once again.

"That's you, princess." he lifted my head with his finger, kissing me softly. We got Frida in the cat carrier and headed to the car. "What kind of music do you like?"

"Any music, I don't mind at all." he turned on the car radio, classical music playing instantly. "Really?" we looked at each other, puzzled.

"I thought you said you liked any kind of music." he snorted lightly.

"I do, and I love classical one. I just didn't think you'd like this kind of music, you give off a completely different vibe." I shrugged, surprised.

"You don't know me that well yet." he was smirking, leaning in for a quick kiss before starting the car. "It helps me concentrate." I smiled, thinking of him coming up with plans while listening to Bach, Mozart or Vivaldi. It reminded me of my elementary school teacher, who played classical music while we were reading, drawing or during breaks, many memories and perceptions coming to my mind. "Why are you smiling?"

"This song reminds me of my childhood. My teacher used to play these while we worked to stimulate our love for art, music, literature. I miss it. I miss home. These streets are making me miss home too. Back there highways are totally different. There are mostly fields, sometimes farms, either close to the road or farther in the land. If you're lucky you can see cows or horses on the other side of the fence, nibbling at the grass or just enjoying the sunlight. And you can almost always hear crickets and cicadas chirping." a wave of nostalgia and sadness was washing over me. I hate when I get too existentialist but it's something I can't really help.

"That's so beautiful, I felt like I was there just with your words." I turned to him, a smile on his lips as he was focusing on the street.

"Can I ask you something?" I took a deep breath, trying to be strong.

"Of course." his tone was kind, sensing the slight change my voice.

"Have you thought about the future?"

"What do you mean by that?" he glanced at me quickly before turning back to the street.

"Many things. My visa for example." my eyes were fixed on him, studying his reactions.

"We'll find a solution." he paused, gulping hard, hand clutching the steering wheel. "When is it expiring?"

"Beginning of September." I sighed, looking outside the window. "I could apply for an extension but uni wouldn't be covered by the scholarship I won last year, and I don't have that kind of money."

"Baby," I turned to him, the new nickname painting a smile on my face even though I felt like crying. "You've got me." his words surprised and shocked me. I started speaking fast, breathing rapidly, millions of reasons why it wasn't okay to accept his offer popping up in my mind.

"No... No, I couldn't possibly accept that, it would be too much. I would never be able to repay you. And what if you get tired of-" he shushed me, a finger to his lips.

"I'm not getting tired of anything. Ever. Let's focus on what we're living now, okay? It's going to be fine. We'll be fine." I caught my breath, listening to his soothing voice, trying to calm down.

"Sorry if I overthink and overreact sometimes." I reached for his hand on the gear lever, rubbing my thumb on his smooth skin.

"That's okay. It's part of you."

"That tattoo you got though... How were you so sure? What if something happens to us?"

"I don't think I'll ever regret it. But if something happens then it was just to cover up a risky one." he laughed as I nudged at his arm, his strong hand suddenly laying on my left thigh, sending shivers all over my body. He gripped it softly, inching closer and closer to my inner thigh, slipping it under the hem of my dress as I was squirming in anticipation. He drove into a mall's parking lot, searching for a spot to park in as two fingers reached my panties, pressure on my clit, a whimper leaving my mouth as I clutched at his hand, urging him not to stop. He stopped the car as his hand left my body. "Let's go, I have to get flowers for my mom." he had an innocent smile on his face, as if nothing happened.

"You know, maybe I do hate you." I groaned.

The mall was huge but pretty much deserted because of the restrictions. We entered a supermarket searching for some fresh flowers, choosing a bouquet of beautiful white roses that he thought she would have loved.

"Nerd Andrew? Back from the big city?"


	26. Sun

Before I could even register the high pitched voice, I saw a blonde girl hugging Andre, his hands awkwardly patting her back. "Are you still with John?" confusion was running through my head as I was trying to keep a straight face.

"Uh.. We see each other frequently, yes." his tone was nervous. "This is Alice, my girlfriend." I tried to give the girl my best smile though I was biting the inside of my cheek feeling really uncomfortable.

"I'm Zoe, nice to meet you." she held out a hand.

"Sorry, it's better not to shake hands these days. But nice to meet you too." I smiled with a satisfied grin, the kind of confidence that came out when I was feeling a little jealous totally possessing my mind and body.

"We'd better hurry, it was... Nice seeing you again." Andre's voice seemed unexcited, as if he was doing anything to avoid conversation.

"Same here, let's hang out if you stay in town."

"Sure." he turned his back to her, an arm around me so I would follow him.

My heart was feeling small, unsure of what just went on, feeling a fool for being in love with someone I didn't know that well after all. "I have so many questions right now."

"Let's pay and I'll answer them all in the car." he was smiling at me, searching for intimacy while I was avoiding it, silent. I quickly walked back to the car, trying my hardest to keep my thoughts straight and breath steady. I waved at Frida in the back seat, her cute face giving me a little comfort.

"So, Nerd Andrew. What just happened?" I said it lightly, still avoiding his eyes in the attempt to hide my jealousy and discomfort from him.

"We just met a girl who spent years bullying me and my best friend for being outcasts." I turned to him, feeling sorry for even imagining it was something completely different. "She bullied me because I wasn't white, because I didn't have a father, because I was almost always alone, because I was smart and liked technology and videogames. They gave me names like Andrew because they couldn't stand the fact Andre wasn't common. My only friend back then was John... That's Alpha's real name. He was bullied because he was assigned female at birth and always loved to wear masculine clothes, to play with cars, because one day cut his own hair short in the school's bathroom." I was speechless, mad that he went through all of this, mad that they both went through all of this. "In middle school there were rumours we were dating because we spent pretty much every day together, but the truth was that we just understood each other." I was shaking my head in disbelief.

"I am so sorry you both went through all of this, I'm sorry that I was imagining something completely different when this is the truth... You didn't deserve to go through any of that and I hope you know that, baby." I was almost in tears, knowing how badly it felt to be put in a corner and avoided by everyone for absolutely no valid reason. I pulled him in my arms, his strong embrace telling me he was reliving everything he had ever gone through. I combed his hair with my fingers, trying to ease his pain and make him feel my love. "You're so strong for overcoming it all. Though all of the things they ever told and did to you, you managed to stay gentle, polite, kind. That's the most beautiful glow up you could ever achieve." I pulled away, smiling at him, drying a small tear that was running down his cheek.

"Thank you," he sniffled, a hand caressing my face gently. "Since we're here I might as well tell you something else." I nodded at him, waiting for him to talk. "I'm bisexual." he looked at me, waiting for me to react. I snickered in surprise. "What's so funny?" he was laughing nervously.

"Uhh... Me too?" our faces mirrored each other's reactions, smiles big as we were coming out to each other in the most joyful way. "I spent half of my life lying to myself when my attraction for women had always been there disguised by a «Do I want to look like her or do I want to be her friend?» I was even bullied by a guy in high school who used «lesbian» as an insult because I was spending all my time with my best friend. A year later, when I came to terms with my sexuality, I realised I actually had feelings for my best friend at one point in my life. Also, you don't have to worry, she's straight and getting married to her fiancé this autumn." we were so excited about telling each other our respective stories and experiences that we found our hands intertwined without even controlling them.

Time flew, not realising it was almost 12pm. He started the car, my anxiety acting up as I imagined we were getting closer to his house. "Andre, I'm scared." I chuckled nervously as I squeezed his hand in mine, tapping my foot.

"Why would you ever be? She loves you already, you just have to be yourself." he gave me a reassuring smile, pulling up in a nice and quiet neighbourhood. The house wasn't too big, but seemed to be recently renovated, the front painted of a pale yellow, a few steps leading to a tiny but lovely porch, the front door and big white windows decorating the façade. "Ready?" I nodded my head, trying to be confident as he kissed me softly. We got out of the car, me getting Frida, while he was holding the flowers he just bought. We walked up the path made of stones, pretty flowers on the sides of it leading to the porch. I felt my legs shaking as Andre rang the doorbell, hiding his face behind the beautiful white roses. The door unlocked, a beautiful woman in an orange dress appearing on the threshold.

"Andre!" she screeched, arms engulfing her son's body despite his size. She was laughing and crying together, eyes closed enjoying the moment. The little scene made me emotional, thinking of how much I was missing my parents. "It's been so long..." she pulled away, looking up at his son in admiration. She turned to me "You must be Alice, nice to meet you dear! I'm Solange, but you can call me Sol." she held out a hand and I didn't hesitate to shake it with the biggest smile on my face.

"I'm so happy to finally meet you too, Sol." she looked much younger than I was expecting, a few strands of black curly hair framing her face, the rest of her beautiful afro hair up in a bun. Her features were exactly the same as Andre's, beautiful dark green eyes crowned by long lashes, her skin smooth and perfect, darker than her son's, her manners kind. "Your nickname in Italian means sun and I have to say it suits you perfectly." I tried to be as lovely as she was, fighting my shyness.

"You're too nice Alice, come in." she took the flowers Andre gave her, welcoming us into the house.

"I thought it was «better not to shake hands these days»?" he mocked me, kissing my forehead as he motioned for me to walk in front of him, my eyes rolling. The house was beautifully furnished, charming and comfortable, tons of natural light spreading through the whole floor, a backyard with plants and trees showing on the other side of it. There was an exquisite smell coming from the kitchen as I hoped with all of myself my stomach wouldn't growl.

"Make yourself at home Alice, you can let this cutie out if you want." she bent down, poking at Frida with a surprised smile on her face. As soon as I did, she started smelling the whole place, getting acknowledged with the new surroundings, earning cuddles from everyone in the room. "House tour?" her happy tone would be able to put anyone in a good mood.

She let me peek at the backyard, a vegetable garden on the right, a plastic table with a few cute chairs around it shadowed by a parasol; she guided me to the downstairs bathroom, then showed me the rooms upstairs, proudly saying every piece of furniture was bought and replaced by Andre about 6 months earlier, besides from his bedroom. We waited for him to reach us so he would show it himself. I was welcomed in a light blue room, with a big white bed, a couple of closets, a desk with many pieces of technology on top, walls entirely covered by comic drawings as well as some mythological ones and posters of a few basketball players. I wandered around the room to get a closer look at his drawings, smiling widely, thinking of younger Andre living his childhood and teenage years in here, feeling safe in his own world.

"These are so nice." I turned to him, visibly nervous as he was scratching his head a little.

"All right, I'm going to get the stuff we left in the car so you can gossip about me without me being in the way." he gently touched my hip before leaving the room.


	27. Together

"He's always loved drawing, but he chose another path in life." Sol was next to me, a nostalgic smile appearing on her face.

"He's really good nonetheless. I find it beautiful that he's fighting for what he believes in with so much passion."

"That's also true." she looked at me, an affectionate expression on her face though we just met. "You're good for him, dear. He tells me about every person he meets, but he never spoke about any of them the way he did about you. A few days ago he called me crying because he thought he had lost you." _He cried for me?_ I felt a wrench to my heart, my eyes suddenly fixed to the floor.

"It's been a hard week for the both of us, yeah. I thought something awful was going to happen to him and he preferred pushing me away."

"What matters is the present." we smiled at each other. "Let's go downstairs, lunch is almost ready." I followed her to the kitchen as Andre was getting back in, a grin on his face when he saw us. I helped her set the table, Andre entertaining Frida, my heart melt filling with love.  
During lunch they updated each other about their respective lives, he showed her his new tattoo, which she loved for many reasons, and she asked how long we would have stayed there, even offering us to stay longer.

"How is your family doing? I know Italy is going through such a hard time." Sol's eyes softened, compassion and interest pouring out of her words.

"They're luckily fine, it's been really hard being away from them during this hard period. I just miss them a lot, I see my mum and sister daily on video calls but it's not the same with my brother and father and I can't wait to see them again."

"You never told me anything about them." Andre's attention was on me, head tilted, surprised to hear something new.

"I love them a lot, we're just not as close. My brother is amazing but prefers eye to eye conversations so we don't see each other very much now. My dad loves us all and he would do anything to make us happy, he's always worked hard and being away from home for the most part of the day he has always been kind of distant towards us. It's just hard for him to be affectionate because he had a difficult childhood I think." I forced a smile, hoping I hadn't hurt anyone's sensibility knowing their story.

"I'm sure they all love and miss you so much, dear." Sol reached for my arm as I nodded. "Let's have pizza tonight so you'll feel more at home, yes?"

"We can make it together if you'd like to, it's something I've always loved." I brightened up, excited just at the thought. Sol looked at Andre, a grin on her face.

"Andre, she is perfect." she chuckled as he looked at her and nodded. "Not because you can cook, of course. But this is the cherry on top." we all laughed, finishing our lunch and cleaning the table soon after. I made a quick list of all the ingredients I'd need, crossing out the ones Sol had in the house. "We can go for a walk while the dough rises and we'll get the rest at the supermarket, no problem dear." I started kneading the dough with two pairs of attentive eyes on me as they passed the ingredients, mixing water, flour, yeast, oil, salt and sugar, sometimes taking turns in kneading it so they'd try it on their own. Once in a while, seeing Sol was distracted around the house, Andre would come behind me and be way too touchy, teasing me to then act as nothing happened.

"I'm sorry, you're just too irresistible in this dress and seeing you so focused and passionate... You know." he kissed my neck, a wave of pleasure washing over me as I closed my eyes, trying to keep still and contain myself. I rocked my hips backwards, trying to get a reaction and torture him just like he was doing. "Don't." he laughed lowly, placing a firm hand on my hips to keep me in place.

"Don't what? I'm working here." I tried to act like I wasn't trying to do anything but I was way too amused with his reaction. His hand slid on my front and down my thigh before leaving me again, heart pounding in my chest, a soft kiss on my neck.

"You guys, get a room please." Sol was chuckling while hopping downstairs energetically, Andre instinctively moving away as I was hoping she only saw the last kiss he gave me.

"I think the dough is ready, we just have to wait for it to rise now." I quickly changed the subject, placing a nice cloth on the bowl to then wash my hands.

We took a walk to the neighbourhood park down the street, hearing kids laughing and playing outside of their houses. We sat on a bench, enjoying the really nice weather, sun shining on us as we talked about anything that came to our minds, Andre's hand safely holding mine.

Once we reached the supermarket we got the few ingredients missing, then waited for Sol to come back from her quick run in a near shop, not wanting us to see what she bought.  
We walked back home, Frida welcoming us with a loud purr. Andre decided to give Sol the Queen vinyls he had bought at the store, joy sprouting from her as they were the few ones she didn't have in her collection.

"How did you even get these?" she was full of emotion, almost crying.

"I saw them in a shop Alice brought me in so you really have to thank her." their eyes turned to me.

"I really can't take credit for that guys." I shrugged, suggesting they could play them on the 50s wooden turntable I noticed in the living room earlier that day.

I got the pizzas ready with their help, rolling the dough to then spread oil and tomato sauce, and sprinkle mozzarella and their favourite toppings on them. The atmosphere was so beautiful that I felt at home, comfortable, occasionally singing along and swaying my hips to the music though I had just met the woman who was beside me, my temper usually introverted and shy around people I don't know well. Andre's eyes were often fixed on me, smiling each time we made eye contact, until I wiped a drop of tomato sauce that ended up on the counter and licked my fingers clean while staring at him, his eyes turning dark and wide, teeth digging in his bottom lip as our arms brushed while I was placing the baking sheets in the oven.

About half an hour later we were eating our pizzas, their compliments flattering me more than I could even explain.  
I felt a foot bumping on my leg, sure it was Andre's as he was sitting in front of me. I ignored it, knowing his legs were probably too long to fit under the table, until I felt it slowly going up and towards my inner thigh, a nervous cough escaping my mouth as I squeezed my legs together. He was smirking though his eyes were low, moving his toes to tickle the soft skin.

"Are you enjoying your stay here?" his tone was casual though I noticed the corner of his lips quivering.

"Very much." I paused, moving a hand under the table to pinch his foot, his knee bumping on the underside of the table as he retreated his leg. "I find everything and everyone so lovely." I tried my best to keep everything under control, conversation included.

"I'm so glad, honey. Consider this your home, you'll always be welcomed." Sol's kindness was melting my heart, a million emotions running through my head as I was thanking her. I wanted nothing more than to finally release the pressure that built up in the past days; I was missing Andre more than I even realised in the days we had been apart, and it was now getting too much with him teasing me in this way. I needed him and I knew he needed me too by the way he was staring at me, deep green eyes that made me squirm just as I felt them on me.

We watched TV for a while though nothing interesting was on, Frida jumping on the couch and sitting on each of our laps to get cuddles and snooze a little, Andre's arm around my shoulders, his fingers tracing the skin on my arm. When Sol suggested going to bed we all agreed, saying our goodnights as Sol even hugged me sweetly.

When I reached Andre's room my frustration was irresistible, my whole body tingling. I took off my dress and laid down on his bed waiting for him, a hand cupping my breast as the other slid down my body and inside my panties. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and getting closer to the door, my teeth digging into my bottom lip. When he opened the door his jaw dropped in surprise.

"I can't believe you're really doing this." arousal evident in his voice, he closed and locked the door behind him, playing some music.

"It's your fault, I wouldn't be in this situation if you took care of me yesterday." my eyebrow shot up, moaning breathily as he sat next to me on the bed, his gaze insistent.

"What about this morning?" his low tone made me wetter immediately.

"We would have been late for your surprise." I replied innocently.

"Yes?" he smirked, a finger running across my collarbones, then between my breasts and down my stomach.

"No touching." I smirked as he stilled his movements, waiting for his next move. His hands tickled my belly, my back shooting up instantly to try and stop him, our laughter filling the room. His hands found my shoulders, pushing me down onto the bed, lips finally on mine.

"All right princess, let me see how you make yourself come."


	28. Under my breath

His words were almost enough to make me orgasm without even touching myself but I resisted. My free hand reached his face, lightly touching his bottom lip, while my other went back to my clit.

"Close your eyes and tell me what you're thinking about." he whispered in my ear, his breath hot on my neck.

"I'm imagining it's your hand. We're in the car, just like this morning. You were teasing me and didn't move your hand away when I gripped it. Instead, you moved my panties to the side and started touching me." I was moaning under my breath.

"You would have liked that, wouldn't you?" he chuckled and nibbled at my neck, palming himself over his trousers, his hardness showing though the fabric was really tight on his crotch.

"Mhm." I smirked, trying to focus.

"In public? Dirty girl." his words made me bite my lip and giggle at the thought.

"It wasn't in public, there were barely any cars around. And it would have been your fault anyway, Mr I'm-going-to-play-footsie-in-front-of-my-own-mother." my free hand tangled in his hair, bringing his head to mine so I could shut him up with a kiss. He got more insistent with it, gasping to catch our breaths until his lips were on my jaw, then on my neck, chest and nipples, sucking and tugging at them. I fastened my movements, the pressure between my hips growing more and more, biting my lip to contain my whimpers. "Andre, I'm close." he sat up, hand fondling my breast, the other wrapped around my neck, eyes glued to my every movement, mouth agape as I reached my high, breathing heavily as I squeezed his arm.

"That was the best thing I ever saw." he chuckled, kissing my lips softly as I was catching my breath.

"Your turn now." I smirked, sitting on the bed, my hand on his knee sliding up his thigh. He clutched my wrist, eyes shut, an overwhelmed expression on his face.

"Baby, I'm missing you so much I could come on the spot."

"Can I help you?" I tilted my head innocently, trying to understand what he needed.

"Maybe tell me a story so I can calm down and we can do this properly later?" seeing him so turned on and frustrated made me giggle, knowing I had this much power over such a strong and vigorous man flattered me. But it went deeper than just power, it was love I read in his eyes, and desire to prove to me how much he missed me. I glanced around the room, searching for a topic to talk about, his drawings catching my attention.

"Back at home I have a shelf full of journals filled with childish paintings and weird scribbles, my parents tell me I always loved to express my fantasy and I would start drawing anywhere, so they bought me them when I was about 3 years old and I never stopped." he chuckled at my words, nose wrinkling in the most adorable way, taking my breath away.

"That's cute, I can imagine you drawing on the walls as soon as you found a pencil around the house and your parents running after you to stop you."

"To be honest that's probably why they bought me so many journals." I laughed, laying my back on the bed and playing with my necklace, suddenly feeling exposed. "What about your sketches? Sol told me you loved to draw when you were younger."

"I did. I loved to draw cartoon characters, I'd watch TV a lot to escape reality and try to draw little scenes for the rest of my free time. It was a little passion of mine, I even invented my own mythological comic book when I was about 13." he reached for a black notebook in a drawer and handed it to me. I quickly flicked through it, a faint smell of old pages blowing on my face.

"It smells so nice." he snorted lightly, a smile on his face. I went back to the beginning, paying attention to every scene and every character portrayed in them. "These are amazing, baby. You were just 13 when you did these?" He nodded, slightly embarrassed. I recognised many deities and heroes' stories, imagining how big his obsession for mythology had to be. "You need to publish this book, everybody would love it."

"C'mon, nobody would buy such a thing." he hid his face in his big hand to then run his fingers through his hair.

"I would. And you would too if you weren't you." I joked, getting lost in his smile.

"The mole on your hip is so cute." he pocked at my right hip, my eyes following his. He leaned down to kiss it softly, a feeling of ticklishness and arousal washing over me. He placed gentle kisses all across my stomach, on my stretch marks, making sure to look up at me and whisper how beautiful I was to him. My breath was heavy again, his kisses wet and more insistent as his hands were travelling everywhere around my body. He grazed my panties with his teeth, the sensation making me moan in anticipation. "May I?" his eyes locked with mine, hooking his fingers on the sides. I nodded, wiggling my hips as he slid them down, placing a few kisses on my thighs. He spread my legs, positioning himself in the middle, his medium-length stubble tickling my inner thighs, making me squirm as his kisses got closer to my centre, hips shooting up.

"Please, Andre..." as soon as my whisper left my mouth his tongue was on me, slow motions making my heart jolt, head falling back on the pillow. I felt like it had been a thousand years since the last time he was on me like this, all the things we went through back in my mind, good and bad; I thought about the way we left each other that morning, how badly it all hurt; I thought about him calling his mother and crying over me, about the way his beautiful eyes teared up when he said «I love you» for the first time, and about how good everything was going now. _Now._ That's what I have to focus on.  
His tongue was travelling up and down, arm wrapped around the thigh he had over his shoulder, the other fondling my breast. I was close to my second high when he started sucking on my clit. "Wait, stop."

"What happened?" a surprised expression on his face, his tone kind of worried. "Did I do something wrong?" I leaned on my elbows smirking at him.

"No way, but it's your turn." I reached for his face, my hand cupping the side of it, his strong jaw clenching at my words. "What can I do for you, love?" he smiled at the new nickname, kissing the inside of my thigh once more.

"Remember when we were in the kitchen and you rocked your hips backwards?" I nodded, biting my bottom lip. "I can't shake that off my mind." he stood up as I crawled on the bed, kissing my way up from the waistband of his trousers to his lips. I was undoing the buttons of his shirt when his hands tangled in my hair, then reaching my back to bring my body closer to him, my hard nipples against his strong tattooed chest. My hands reached down for his trousers, quickly unzipping them, palming him through his boxers. He hissed against my neck, placing a kiss on my shoulder right after. I cupped his face, kissing him eagerly as he was removing his boxers, his now dark green eyes fixed on mine. I turned around, my back to his chest, his strong arms reaching around to touch me, hardness pressed to my back.  
"I'm sorry you'll have to be quiet for this." he chuckled lowly, shivers running through my body just at the thought of what was about to happen, a spark catching fire inside me. I turned my head to kiss him quickly, then bent down, placing my hands on the soft blankets under me.  
His hands were on my ass, caressing and fondling it. I felt his tip teasing me, then entering me slowly, letting me adjust to the feeling and width, low moans from the both of us as I was stretching around him. He reached for my upper back, fingers lightly scratching my skin.  
"You feel so good, love." I let out a mix of a giggle and a breathy moan, wiggling my hips to signal I was ready for more. His hands gripped my hips, slowly pushing himself deep inside me, the sensation leaving me breathless. His movements were faster, rougher, whimpers leaving my lips before I could stop them. I felt his right hand slide from my hip to my inner leg, just like he did a couple of hours earlier, this time flicking my clit rapidly, making me arch my back, arms spreading on the bed and towards the pillows, hands fisting the blankets so hard my knuckles turned white. He leaned down and kissed my back, the new angle hitting all the right spots as my legs started to shake. Once close to my ear he gently moved my hair away.  
"If I could, I would spank you right now." I felt myself throb around him, my moans now uncontrollable, stifled by biting into the pillow. The pressure between my hips rose more and more, his movements more urgent and low moans shaking me to the core as I felt him twitching against my tight walls.

"Andre, I'm about to come." I tried not to scream in pleasure, my breath heavy.

"Come with me, baby." it was just a matter of seconds, my whole body felt warm and tingly, legs shaking even more as he came inside of me, the feeling sending me over the edge, euphoria so strong that tears welled up in my eyes. He collapsed on top of me kissing my back and shoulders to then flip us over so his weight wouldn't be on me. "I missed you so much, love." he was catching his breath, chest rising and falling right under me as his arms were wrapped safely around my body. I rolled over so I could face him, a smile stuck on my face.

"I missed you so much too, baby. I missed us." he looked down at me, smiling before his expression changed.

"Are you crying?" his tone was worried.

"I guess it was too intense." I chuckled and kissed him, trying to reassure the big yet sweet man in front of me. "I'm serious, it just felt too good... I have no idea if I'd be able to stand up." my legs were still shaking.

"Great, I finally get to pick you up and bring you around again." we laughed as he sat on the bed, bringing me in the same position, fingers intertwined as we were winding down. "I'm so in love with you." his words made my heart beat faster as I flung myself into him, arms wrapped around his neck, fingers playing with his thick, long locks. He pulled me closer to him, body melting into the other's, enjoying the moment with our eyes closed.

"Ti amo." I said it under my breath, afraid the universe would hear it and change our fate, afraid the wound that just healed could open up again, afraid that the first good thing happened to me in the longest time could be spoiled.

"Say it again?" he chuckled softly, his hands tracing little circles on my back. I craned my head, getting closer to his ear.

"Ti amo." I repeated, still whispering, and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"You're the cutest." he was smiling at me, my eyes looking at him in complete awe. "Let's get you cleaned up and ready for bed." he stood up and picked me up, taking me to his bathroom. We showered quickly, his concern on my ability to stand up making me smile every time he'd ask. We brushed our teeth, making funny faces at each other on the mirror's reflection, our height difference still impressing me. We then headed to bed, cuddling, his love making me feel warm inside, whispering «I love yous» until we fell asleep.


	29. Possibility

I woke up in the morning seeing him laying on his front, an arm hugging the pillow that was under his head, the other around me, our legs tangled. The sun was peeking through the curtains, warm on my back, sunbeam then scattering on his face, highlighting the shape of his lips somehow making them even more kissable. His black hair was shining as if stardust was magically sprinkled on it in our sleep. My heart filled with love every time I'd blink, opening my eyes to find him right before them. I wondered if it was something I'd ever get used to, waking up to his presence. I stretched my body, careful not to wake him up, my muscles sore from the previous night. I thought about the way he was making me feel special, loved, wanted, his kisses on my stomach, hands all over my body, eagerness when he was inside of me, bodies melting into each other as we were catching our breaths. I was still feeling euphoric, a smile stuck on my lips as I recalled every moment. I checked the time on the clock on his bedside table, its hands striking 9:35am. I turned around to cup Andre's face, thumb gently stroking his cheek, the other hand moving a few strands of hair away from his face. He opened an eye, pupil dilating and contracting, adjusting to the light that was reaching him. His lips curled up as he wrinkled his nose. "Good morning, sleepyhead." I chuckled, kissing the tip of his nose.

"Just 5 more minutes..." he groaned, his strong arm bringing my body closer to him as he buried his face in my neck, the feeling making me giggle.

"Why so tired?" I was combing his hair with my fingers, his hand caressing the skin over my ribcage. He chuckled, my eyebrows furrowing. "What are you laughing at?"

"Just thinking about last night." his raspy morning voice was resonating in my ears, a soft kiss on my collarbone.

"What about it?" I propped a leg up his hip, our bodies even closer as I placed a kiss on top of his head.

"It was perfect. You are perfect. I never felt this way before." he was mumbling, probably still half asleep, that's why it made me feel even more special. "If you keep playing with my hair I'm going to fall back asleep." he kissed my neck softly, finally pushing himself up with his elbow, his beautiful eyes staring at me.

"I thought you wanted to sleep for 5 more minutes?" my eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Change of plans, I want to spend them with you." his smile was so big and bright, my breath catching in my throat.

"Stop being so cute." I felt my cheeks flush.

"Only if you stop being so beautiful." I bit my lip to stop from smiling and tickled him, his laugh loud and unexpected. He rolled on the bed to get away from my hands as I straddled him, his hands gripping my wrists to place them above his broad shoulders, finally putting his hands on my sides. We were smiling at each other, his eyes still beaming in the sunlight, my heart skipping a beat whenever I glanced at them. "What is it you told me last night?"

"When?" I knew what he was asking of me, but I acted oblivious.

"It was something in Italian." he was smirking, his hand reaching for my face, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I can't remember." I smiled, leaning down to kiss his cheek. "Ti amo?"

He wrapped his arms around my back, humming happily. "I love when you say it."

"Your mother is probably wondering if we're still alive." We laughed as I softly kissed his neck.

"Let's get ready then." he patted my ass, giggles leaving our lips as we climbed out of bed. I headed to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face to wake myself up, put a slight layer of mascara on, then wore the lilac blouse I packed the day before, tucking it in my white trousers, the fabric feeling as delicate as silk. Andre appeared in the mirror behind me, wearing black jeans and a khaki t-shirt, admiring my reflection. "Beautiful." he bent down, placing a kiss on my forehead.

"Says you." I smiled, turning around to put my arms around his torso. As soon as we opened the door to head downstairs we were engulfed by the sweet scent of pancakes frying on the pan, Sol humming softly with her back to the staircase. "Good morning, Sol." I petted Frida who meowed at me, stretching her paws.

"Good morning to you dear." she turned around, spatula in her hand. "Oh don't you look lovely." though her outfits were always really pretty, the most beautiful things Sol wore were always her smile and her happy, kind tone.

"You must be talking about yourself, you always look wonderful. Can I help?" I asked her, trying to be as nice as she was to me, nibbling on a couple of berries that were on the kitchen counter waiting to end up on the sweets.

"Can I be any luckier?" Andre was behind us, each of his arms on our waists in a tender way.

"Slept well?" Sol cheekily looked up at him, the question almost making me choke as I was trying not to laugh. _Was the music not enough? Were we loud despite trying not to?_ I felt my cheeks turn red.

"Of course I did." Andre's tone was serious and steady, making me wonder how he was so good at keeping a poker face when he needed to. My mind went back to the last protest we went to and how he acted as if he was a superhero with Maddy's brother, his big gloved hands ruffling the kid's hair.

"Alice?" Sol's voice snapped me out of my thoughts as I turned to her. "How do you feel about a picnic in a park near here?"

"I would love it!" I found it such a cute idea, just the thought made me back to my Italian friends and the time we'd spent reading poems, laughing and joking while enjoying the sunlight shining on us. We had breakfast in the garden, shadowed by the big white parasol, then packed up a few blankets, some bread, a big salad, fruit and a few snacks in a basket, and headed to the car. About ten minutes later, after driving past Andre's high school, a few churches and a big equestrian centre, we reached the park. We took a long walk through it, sometimes coasting the river, the water flowing charmingly beside us, Andre's hand in mine as we were thrillingly following Sol, who knew just the right spot. A few metres after crossing a bridge we reached it: a few trees had their branches intertwined as if someone took care of them for years and braided them together.

"It's been like this for as long as I can remember." she was excited about it, telling every memory she had tied to this spot. We spread the blankets on the fresh grass, dew still on it, the sun peeking through the leaves and casting a beautiful play of lights on us and everything surrounding us. All of a sudden I felt like I was living inside of one of David Hettinger's paintings. The weather was just lovely, not too hot, a light breeze blowing on us. Squirrels were running around, sometimes jumping from a tree to the other. It made me emotional to be finally able to enjoy nature after such a long time, it almost felt unreal after having been stuck in the city for such a long time due to the lockdown.

"Miss?" Andre crouched down, handing me a little bunch of daisies. I felt my heart race, smiling from ear to ear.

"You just can't stop, can you?" I reached for him and kissed him softly, taking the daisies in my hands. Once I pulled away I saw Sol was taking pictures of us and hid my face behind the flowers in embarrassment.

"You look like a fairy." she was laughing, Andre sitting beside me with an arm on my shoulder.

"That's funny, when I was little my dream was to be a fairy, live beside a pond, sleep inside a flower, being friends with animals..."

"Just like a nymph." Andre was smiling at me, his tone enthusiastic.

"Yeah, Andre wanted to be a modern Homer instead." Sol laughed loudly. The long walk sharpened our appetites so we got our lunch ready, munching the delicious things we prepared and brought with us, along with a few glasses of wine. We relaxed, listening to the wind whistling through the leaves, a few birds chirping around us. Andre was snoozing, his head on my lap as I was running my fingers through his long hair, placing a few of the daisies he gifted me earlier in it. I picked some more, braiding them together to make a small bracelet and handed it to Sol, who appreciated it as if it was made of gold.

"I have something for you, dear." She reached in her bag, taking out a small shiny envelope with a little bow on it.

"Sol, you didn't have to." it had been months since the last time I felt this appreciated and I wasn't used to so much kindness.

"Open it. It's just something that I wanted to do." she had a grin on her face, excited to see my reaction. When I opened it I found a small necklace with a little amethyst stone attached.

"It's wonderful, I love it." my jaw dropped, eyes wide. She moved behind me to fasten it.

"And it looks wonderful on you. Amethysts mean protection."

"Thank you, really." I teared up a little, my heart feeling overwhelmed. "Andre told me a lot about you. I had the impression of you being such an amazing, strong woman and it all was confirmed." we hugged, her hand patting my back.

"I feel the exact same way, you're a special girl and I just know things are going to work out for you." her comforting words made me smile. "For all of us, even in the possibility of you two moving overseas."


	30. Almost forgot

I froze, my heart drumming loud in my ears. _Was he really thinking of moving away with me? Was I already this important to him? Was it too fast?_  
"Did he say that?" I pulled away slightly in shock.

"Did you two never talk about it?" she brought a hand to her lips, afraid she said too much. "He just hinted at the possibility." I looked at the big man sleeping with his head on my lap, his strong figure now in contrast with the flowers in his hair and the pure expression on his face.

"We talked about my visa yesterday, but we just agreed we'd find a solution and work through it. I suggested I could reapply for one and come back here, but uni would be way too expensive for me. He then said he would pay it for me but I could never accept." I paused, thinking of how good he was to me. "I would never ask him to move for me, I never even thought about it." I looked at Sol, two big tears obstructing my view.

"Oh, dear." She put a hand on my shoulder, her tone reassuring. It reminded me of the very first night me and Andre met, when we were at the red light and he tried to soothe me after I told him about my origins and the hard times my family and I were going through, between the distance and the hard period. "It wouldn't be a problem, would it? When the bond is true and strong there's nothing you can do to stop it." she dried a tear that was flowing down my cheek though her own voice broke, smiles on our faces.

"Nobody has ever done anything this big for me before, it's almost scary." I laughed lightly. "And I thought the tattoo was a lot already."

"He never did anything like this before either. But he knows what he's doing, he's a good guy." she was looking at him in such a loving way that I almost felt like I was intruding.

"He is." I nodded. "What about you, is there someone special in your life?" I hoped I wasn't asking too much, but a huge smile appeared on her face.

"There might be. It's someone I met during charity work." she let the words settle, her tone excited. "A woman." my eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Men were never an option for me, you know?" we giggled, trying not to wake Andre up. I smiled as I held her hand, hoping she'd feel I was close to her and that she wasn't alone in her fight.

"Tell me everything about her." her eyes brightened as she was talking about this wonderful Peruvian woman, with long black hair, captivating eyes and the nicest smile she had ever seen, who was helping with distributing food for poor people during the pandemic and since then they had hung out a few times and called almost daily. "She seems amazing and pretty interested in you, I want all the updates."

"Are you two done gossiping about me or should I go back to sleep?" Andre was yawning, rubbing an eye.

"As much as you'd love to, the world doesn't revolve exclusively around you, son."

"Right?!" Andre sat up and looked at us while pouting his big lips, fake offended by our words as a daisy fell from his locks, Sol snapping a photo of his confused face. "He is the most handsome man in the world though." I felt my cheeks flush, still nervous about being so bold with compliments, adjusting a few flowers on his hair.

It was late in the afternoon when we packed our things, careful not to leave any waste behind, and took a walk through the park towards the mouth of the river, where the view was breathtaking. We watched as the glowing sun was about set below the horizon, illuminating a quivering path across the water, painting the sky and the few wispy clouds of thousands different shades of yellow, orange and pink, framed by a darkening blue. Everything around us was shimmering, leaves, grass, flowers, our own bodies. I rested my head on Andre's shoulder, his thumb drawing small circles on my forearm.

"I haven't felt this good in so long. I almost forgot how it felt to be truly happy." I was so mesmerised by my surroundings that I realised I talked out loud only when I felt Andre hugging me close to his body, Sol's hand reaching behind him to rub my shoulder.

"I know it's hard being away from home but you have us, okay?" he was holding my face in his hands gently, his eyes full of light and love. I nodded and smiled at him, our lips joining soon after. "I love you."

"I love you too." I held him close, Sol hugging Andre from behind, our gazes fixed on the beautiful natural, live artwork happening before us. When we reached the car the air was filled with a wistful yearning, happiness still in our hearts, nostalgia already pending on us. It felt just like when you're watching a thunderstorm in the middle of the summer, finally bringing solace from the hot, torrid weather, but you can tell it's coming to its end and you're already about to miss it.

When we got home Frida was purring loudly, kneading at the hardwood in search for cuddles. "I promise I'm going to take more care of you, cutie." I squatted down and petted her as she was sniffing my clothes, probably wondering where I had been all day.

"Guys, are you sure you don't want to stay longer?" Sol made a sad face, hoping to convince us to stay with her.

"I'm sorry mom, I have work in the morning and my stuff is at home." he hugged her, a whine escaping her. "We can video call whenever you want though."

"It's not the same. I'm going to miss you both." she beckoned for me to join them and I obliged, wrapping my arms around the both of them.

We got our stuff ready upstairs, then said goodbye to Sol.  
"I had a couple of beautiful days and I'm so happy I got to meet you, Sol. This is for you." I handed her the canvas I painted a few days earlier, wrapped as best I could in an envelope made up of newspaper the previous day. Her eyes were full of joy and gratitude when she opened it. "It's a beautiful place I've been to years ago in Italy, hopefully one day we can go together." I glanced at Andre to see his reaction, acting like I didn't know about his secret plan of moving with me. He was smiling at us, as if he liked the idea.

"It's beautiful, you're so talented. Next time you come here, if all of this mess is over, we're all going to the museum." we hugged goodbye, promising to keep in touch and stay safe. I then stepped outside of the porch and on the small path that led to the car, waiting for Andre. Seeing them saying goodbye made me think of the last time I hugged my mum before boarding on the plane, a smile plastered to my face. When we got in the car he was a bit tense, his jaw clenching.

"Cute." I smiled at him, poking his cheek.

"What?" he had a confused expression on his face.

"You're cute. It's okay to be emotional after saying goodbye, I know how hard it is to be away from the people you love. She's strong and she's going to be fine." my fingers grazed his, cheeks getting bigger as he smiled.

"You're right, thank you." he raised my face with a finger under my chin, kissing me with such an eagerness that he took my breath away.

"Everybody has their seat belts on?" he glanced at the back seat as if the cute cat in the carrier was a toddler, making me giggle. We waved Sol goodbye as he started the car. "You can play some music if you'd like, you choose this time." I connected my phone to the car radio and played my favourite playlist, feeling self-conscious while waiting for comments. Dusk was setting in, about to leave space to the darker colours, as my favourite song came on.

"Hm." he was tapping his forefinger on the steering wheel to the rhythm, a smirk on his face.

"What?" I was bracing myself for mean comments.

"I remember this song. It's the one you were dancing to the morning after I slept at yours for the first time." he quickly glanced at me, then fixed his gaze back on the road.

"Delicious, and I'm not only talking about breakfast." I mocked his tone, snatching a loud laugh out of him.

"It's true, though." he smirked, taking advantage of the little traffic to look at me. "Are you still convinced we weren't about to kiss a few moments later?"

"Absolutely." I folded my arms in front of me. "Why would I kiss someone I had just met?"

"Because it was us. I took care of the wound on your head, you broke my nose in return, then tried to fix the situation, we went to the hospital together, you invited me in and offered to sleep at yours because you cared about me not getting in trouble... You were basically already in love with me." his teasing tone was getting on my nerves because I felt too exposed.

"Stop it." I pinched his arm slightly, trying not to laugh.

"Hey! So it is true then." he chuckled.

"Maybe. I only felt like time stopped and all I wanted to do was get lost in your eyes and kiss you, but nothing more."

"Hah, I knew it." I placed my hand on his left cheek, turning his head in my direction so I could kiss him, uncaring that the traffic could get lighter at any moment. His hand found the back of my head, keeping me in place. We were brought back to reality by the sound of a klaxon.

We got home about half an hour later, exhausted by the previous night, long walks and hours spent in the car. We let Frida out, immediately jumping in the sofa as if it were years she hadn't been in the favourite spot. Andre headed to the bathroom and ran the hot water, filling the bathtub with soft bubbles, the sweet perfume of my favourite body wash spreading through the whole house.

"Are you coming or should I bathe alone?"


	31. Your turn

He was taking his shirt off, the expression on his face making my heart jump in my chest. I crossed the kitchen and paced towards him, placing my hands on his chest and standing on my tiptoes to kiss him softly. "Sorry there are no rose petals and candles around."

"It's my apartment, I think I should be the one to say sorry." I chuckled as I got undressed, watching him as he was stepping in and sitting down, trying to relax his body, pouring some water on his head. I placed myself behind him, sinking in the warm water, massaging his back and tracing it slowly, goosebumps appearing on his skin.

"That feels so nice." he hummed and occasionally groaned whenever I'd touch a tense spot. I pulled his wet hair back into a small bun, squeezing some shampoo in my other hand to then turn his black mane into a grey, fluffy cloud. His right hand found my leg, running comfortingly over it. I placed a kiss on his spine, resting my head against his back, reaching around his chest to hold him.

"Today was really beautiful but this is really the cherry on top." I sighed happily as I felt his hand take mine to his lips, kissing it gently.

"Everything is beautiful with you." his words made me chuckle, still feeling like all of this was in my imagination.

"Out of all the people out there, why did you ever pick me?" I said it happily, but genuinely wondering. He looked over his shoulder, eyes meeting mine as he rolled over in the tub, now facing me. "Like... What made you like me?" something was making me feel suddenly confident, maybe the intimacy of the moment, naked in front of each other in every possible way. He paused, searching for the right words.

"I was just doing my job when I first saw you, you know? I tried to help a person who got injured, tried to figure out if they needed to be carried to the sidewalk or taken to the hospital." I smiled, it almost seemed like he was venting about something that happened with another person. "Then I realised you were all alone at the protest and I couldn't just leave you there. I carried you to my car, laid you in the back seat, waited for you to wake up. It was just about 5 minutes but they seemed like a whole hour because of the stress of the moment. It almost seemed like you were sleeping peacefully though, and I thought you were so beautiful and innocent." his eyes were roaming around the room, recalling everything he could, a faint smile on his big lips. "Then I got you to my apartment, disinfected your wound and waited for you to come to, hoping you'd be fine. I'm sorry I didn't leave the light on, I see why you got scared." we chuckled, his left finger was now tapping my knee. "When I heard the noise I thought you tripped over something, instead I had to stop you from jumping out of the window and on the unstable stairs just out of it. There was something about your strength, your fierceness... And your kindness as well. You wanted to fix my nose even though it was kind of against the rules to reveal my identity to other people." I mouthed a «Sorry» as he laughed softly. "Not a problem now." he winked, my smile wide. "I like how you were more worried about my nose than your own wound. I like that you were really frightened by the way you woke up, but still delicate and focused when cleaning the blood out of my face. I like that you offered to drive, the way you told me about your family and origins in such a loving way. I like that you can defend yourself when needed, and that you're always ready to help those in need. Some would argue it's the least someone could do, but not everybody is capable of doing so as we're seeing. Not the way you do it." his eyes were stuck on me, wet eyelashes making them even more mesmerising. He was speaking so highly of me that I felt flattered, my heart full of love. "I like the expression on your face every time I lift your chin or boop your nose. The way you bite the inside of your cheek or play with your jewels when you get anxious. Your confidence also, it's really hot. The way you blush so easily, like now." he leaned closer to me, holding both of my hands. "I like that you're so brave, moving to a foreign country to chase your passion for art. I love when I can hear your accent. And you're talented, I could get lost in your paintings." I was starting to become emotional, my heart pounding in my ears. "I like that you have the same expression right now as the first time you kissed me."

"Guess why?" I shifted my weight, kneeling as the warm water was moving around my body, leaning closer to him to kiss his beautiful lips, a smirk appearing on them as he was watching me in awe. It was a passionate one, his hands softly tangling in my hair, pulling me closer to him, shivers down my spine the moment our bodies touched. He pulled away.

"Your turn now." he booped my nose, chuckling.

"You want to know why I like you?" he nodded excitedly. "Oh well... Moving here and settling down was easy, but I surely wasn't expecting to miss my family so much, even less I was expecting a pandemic. I've never been the one who made friends easily, but I did click with some people at uni. During quarantine I realised most of them only texted me whenever they'd need something and I understood what kind of friends they are. I closed off and I spent most of the time alone at home, thinking that I would barely be able to speak to anyone. I didn't mind being alone, but I felt lonely and it was scary." he squeezed my hands giving me a comforting smile. "And scary was waking up in a dark room with hardly any memory of what happened at the protest. I thought I had been kidnapped by some weird guy, and yeah I tried to jump off the window, getting even more scared when I saw a tall ass masked man trying to stop me from doing so." he laughed out loud, running a hand in his hair. "I was shocked when you said you saved me, I was feeling bad for probably hurting you, but when I saw the blood running down your chin, that's when I realised what I did. Then you smirked and I focused on how attractive you were and I knew I had to do everything I could to get you to take off your helmet. Stupid you to think I wanted to help." I joked, his expression amused by my version of the night we met as I was playing with the foam. "Your eyes were what captivated me the most, though. And your hair. And your hands, the way our fingers brushed against each other when you handed me the glass of water. It was so easy to talk to you that it seemed like we knew each other since forever." he was chuckling, collecting bubbles and water with his hands and carefully pouring it on my hair. "I unusually liked the nicknames you were giving me which says a lot. I liked that you were really nice, understanding of what I was going through. I like that you can read me really easily, which is something that I hate too but..." I paused and shrugged, a breathy laugh escaping his lips. "I liked that we barely knew each other but you held me at night and I felt safe and protected. I was scared you'd leave before I woke up and I'd never see you again, you know?" he was somewhat surprised by my words. "I like that you put so much effort in making me feel at home on our first date. I like that I'm getting to know you better and seeing more and more how passionate you are about changing the world and all the reasons behind it." his teeth sank in his bottom lip to stop himself from smiling so big.

"Okay stop here." he chuckled, joining our lips, holding me close to his body. "Turn around." I obliged as he took the shampoo in his hands, squeezing some to then put it on my hair, massaging my scalp in such a gentle way that I was about to drift off to sleep in his arms. He craned his head, kissing my neck softly as I giggled at the sensation. We stayed like that for a while, my eyes closed, taking in the feeling of his arms embracing me, until his stomach growled.

"Let's eat something, big hungry man." he chuckled as we stood up, rinsing our bodies to then wrap a comfortable towel around them. Soon after we were munching our dinner, smiling at each other, his long wet hair falling to the sides of his face. Butterflies stormed in my stomach. "God, how are you so handsome?" he flicked his hair away, shooting an eyebrow up in a flirty way.

"Well, what about you my love?" he put an arm around my neck, pulling me closer to him, eyes jumping from my irises to my lips and back.

"My love." I repeated, tasting the words. "What about me?" I kissed the corner of his lips, teasing him.

"You're just wonderful." he bit my bottom lip, then kissed me softly, leaving me wanting more.

After watching TV and cuddling with each other and Frida, we headed to bed, so exhausted by the day's events that we barely said goodnight.

I woke up to several loud thumpings on the front door. My heart raced, jumping out of bed almost in panic as I ran to the door. "Hello?"


	32. Routine

I inspected the person on the other side of the door through the peephole: tall man, total black outfit that reminded me so much of the gears, the visor of his hat pulled down to hide his face.

"Can you open the door, please? It's important." his voice was one of the deepest I had ever heard, so deep it intimidated me. He showed me the Anonymous patch under his zippered black hoodie, my mind racing. _What was I supposed to do, let a total stranger into my house?_ I unlocked the door, opening slightly to peek at the man with my own eyes. He was taller than I was expecting, a big black backpack on his shoulders, a chain hung on his black cargo pants. "Athena, right? I'm looking for Riot, Alpha told me I could find him here."

"Can you wait here for a moment?" he nodded, moving his hat up a little bit to expose a pair of hazel eyes. _Was he saying the truth? What if it was someone we couldn't trust?_

I locked the door behind me, running to the bedroom. "Andre? Andre, please wake up." I tried to wake him up gently, so he wouldn't panic just like I was. "Riot?"

"Yes? Why did you call me that?" he squinted his eyes, adjusting to the light, confusion running through his head as he was trying to figure out what happened.

"There's someone at the door for you, he said Alpha told him he could find you here. Should we trust him?" he furrowed his eyebrows and flung himself to the phone on the bedside table, dialling John.

"Morning bro, did you send someone?" his eyes were on me, hand stroking my cheek as to soothe me, probably because my expression revealed worriedness. "Alright, got it. Let's hang out soon, yes? I have many important updates." they hung up pretty quickly. "It's okay, we just need to ask for his name and then give him tips on how to handle the protests."

"So there are more of you going?"

"Just a small group." I nodded as he climbed out of bed, heading for the front door to unlock it as I followed. "Name?"

"Faceless." the man replied, looking at Andre.

"Riot, nice to meet you." they bumped elbows, the interaction making me chuckle softly. "Can we let him in?" Andre turned to me, asking how I felt about the situation.

"Yeah, sure... I'm sorry for earlier, I got scared. I'm Athena." he nodded his head in acknowledgement, stepping inside the house to bump my elbow too. There was an awkward silence, one of those I was never good at filling. "Uhh... Breakfast anyone?" They said yes almost in unison, to which I snapped finger guns for absolutely no reason, regretting it right after. I prepared a few glasses, got the red orange juice from the fridge, a few biscuits and some snacks and brought the tray to the coffee table as they were making some small talk to get to know each other. "I'm sorry I don't have much in the house, we've been away for the weekend."

"This is more than fine, thank you." he smiled at me, taking off his hat, a bright pink buzz cut under it, running a hand over his short hair. He had many tattoos on his fingers, pretty much the only visible skin beside his face. He seemed quite young despite his voice.

I went from room to room searching for Frida, imagining she got scared by the abrupt noises; when I finally found her she was under a dresser, pupils dilated in fear as I scratched behind her ear to make her more comfortable. I whispered reassuring words, carrying her to the sofa so she could get to know the new person in the house. "Sorry to interrupt again but this cutie got scared and if she doesn't acknowledge strangers she's probably going to stay hidden all day." I chuckled, Faceless reaching for her head so she could sniff him.

"She reminds me of my first cat." his voice seemed to startle her, claws digging in my forearm. I sat her on my lap as I was petting her and enjoying the orange juice, the two men going back to their conversation. Though he was on the other side of the sofa, I was staring at Andre, his tone calm and steady, sure of himself as he was giving tips on what to do at a protest, how to behave in case he was in front of a line of police, what to do if someone got in trouble. He was gesturing confidently, explaining plans, sharing his own experiences, describing every item that was handed to the younger man by Alpha about an hour earlier.

"This is an Uzi tactical ink pen. The rear end of the pen forms a glass-breaker. You unscrew this part to reveal a handcuff key, there's a pin side for opening double-locked handcuffs. Always keep it in the front pocket of your vest." my jaw dropped as I was hanging from his lips, it was a small detail I barely noticed.

"Alright, thanks. Whose apartment is this?" Faceless was glancing around the room as I was taking the last sip out of my glass.

"Hers." Andre pointed at me smiling as I nodded at the two men in front of me.

"Nice paintings, did you make them?" he turned to me, fingertips of both of his hands meeting.

"Thanks, almost all of them. A few others are prints of my friends', I love supporting them." I replied as Andre stood up and crossed the room to reach the kitchen sink, cleaning his glass.

"I'm pretty good myself." he took out his phone, searching for some photos and showing me some graffiti he made a while ago, some stylised, others so lifelike they seemed just like pictures, my eyes glued to the screen to catch all the details as I felt his gaze on me. I heard Andre cough from the other side of the room, bringing me back to reality.

"They're amazing, especially the realistic ones." I glanced up at Andre, he was leaning against the kitchen, arms crossed as he was intently looking at us. I gave him a surprised look; _was he jealous?_ "Did you ever get in trouble because of them?"

"I was almost caught once, it was one of the funniest experiences of my life." Faceless laughed, amused by his memories, but I couldn't shake off the scene I saw with my own eyes a few weeks after moving into my apartment, a black kid tased to the ground while he was being chased by officers for having written graffiti on a wall. I nodded and smiled uncomfortably, turning to Andre and understanding with just a glance we were thinking the same thing. _White privilege._ I went back to petting Frida, eating a few biscuits that were still on the tray.

"So, where am I going to sleep?" my eyes turned back to Andre, unsure how to reply.

"Oh you were meant to stay here too?" he nodded, hazel eyes staring at me. "Well... My apartment isn't big, all I have besides my bed is this sofa." I shrugged, hoping he'd find another solution.

He patted the pillow near him, testing if it was good enough. "It is what it is. It's just going to be for a couple of days, until the apartment I rented is totally free."  
I sunk back in my seat, forcing a smile to try and be nice to him.

"I hope Frida will be okay with it, it's her favourite spot." I tried to laugh about the situation, though I wasn't that positive about a complete stranger sleeping in my home.

"I hope I won't disturb you, kitty." he quickly petted her. "Do you guys have plans for the day?"

"I'm supposed to start working in half an hour." Andre was stretching his arms, his tone kind of excited. Faceless turned to me.

"Well, I don't have any at the moment, but I do have to study for my upcoming exams as soon as I find some motivation and go grocery shopping at some point."

"I could come with you so you can show me around. And I'll help carrying everything of course." Andre scoffed at his blunt manners, his expression rather annoyed.

"We can go all together when I have my break, working from home can be boring and I already know I'll need a walk." he turned around, fixing the dishcloth he just used to dry his hands although it was perfectly folded already, his shoulders stiffened.

"Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good plan." I tried to break the heavy, almost unbearable tension, then heading back to the bedroom to change into something that wasn't my usual nightly outfit. I sighed in relief as I closed the door behind me, then picked a plain grey shirt and some high-waisted light blue jeans. I heard the door open, Andre's tall figure sliding in the room.

"Everything okay?" I turned to him, an elusive smile on his lips.

"Yep, absolutely. I just don't like my routine being interrupted this way." he was searching for the trousers he was wearing the day I met his mother, squatted on his luggage.

"Routine." I repeated, getting closer to him, a hand rubbing his shoulder. "Can you believe we haven't kissed yet?"

"Yeah sadly." he sat down on the bed, putting an arm around my waist and bringing me closer to him, his knee between my thighs. "You're so beautiful, you know that, right?"

"Shh." I held his face, kissing him softly. His left hand slid up my back, the other fondling my ass, a low moan escaping my lips. "Don't you have work in a few minutes?"

"True, but you're more important." he attracted me back to him, our lips joining with eagerness as I felt my nipples getting hard from the impact of our bodies.

"You know I love you, right?" he hummed affirmatively, not breaking our kiss. "And that you don't have to worry about anything?" he stopped, his jaw hanging.

"Was it that obvious?" he was looking at me in astonishment, as if it was hard to detect his bitter tone.

"Baby, you just snapped at him for offering to go grocery shopping with me. He was probably trying to be nice for the hospitality." I laughed, kissing his lips softly as soon as he was about to argue back. "There's nothing you have to worry about, really." I shook my head, placing a kiss on his forehead.

"I believe you." his smile was big and bright, finally back to the man I know and love. I handed him an oversized t-shirt of mine that fit him just perfectly.

"Good luck with your first day of work." I looked up at him, admiring his every feature with a smile stuck on my face.

"It's not the first day of me doing this but I appreciate it." he laughed, kissing my cheek.

"I know, but I'm proud of you." I smiled at him, getting a few books and notebook from a shelf, then heading back to the kitchen, setting my stuff at the head of the table. I stepped in the bathroom for a quick skincare routine, then put myself to work, Andre already typing on his laptop sitting near me, Faceless listening to music from his headphones on the sofa. I was a few paragraphs in when I heard footsteps, a big tattooed hand appearing on the table to my right.

"What are you studying?" Faceless was towering over me, his voice deep and kind of raspy.

"Art History, in particular Botticelli." I looked up at him, playing with my necklace.

"Your pronunciation is really good." he was sitting next to me, his head tilted as I laughed.

"Thanks, I'm Italian." I looked at him, waiting for the reaction everybody has every time I tell them about my origins even though I never truly felt like my Italian accent was absent.

"For real? I could have sworn you were British." he was surprised by my words.

"He said the same." I pointed at Andre, eyes looking up from his laptop to give us a quick smile.

"She has so many talents, doesn't she?" he reached for my left hand to hold it softly, my cheeks heating up as my heart raced.

"Can that even be considered a talent?" I laughed, trying not to make the situation more awkward than it already was.

"For sure." Faceless grinned at me before going back to his phone, a light buzz of music coming from his headphones. I got a notification on my phone, stopping yet again from my notes.

[ still thinking he was just trying to be nice? ]


	33. He did what?!

I snorted and tried to suffocate the laugh that was begging me to be released. I glanced at him, green eyes looking away as soon as mine met them, then typed on my phone trying to keep quiet.

[ back to work, big man. and don't worry. ]

We worked in relative silence for a couple of hours, occasionally getting lost in thought and looking at the man on my left, his jaw clenched as he was typing fast, focused on his work, sometimes glancing up and catching him staring at me, smiles breaking on our faces. It reminded me of the long afternoons spent at the library back at home, studying with my best friend or my uni friends, helping each other and occasionally giggling at some inside jokes though trying to keep silent.  
He was stretching his torso, leaning back on the chair, shapes of his body appearing through the shirt's fabric, when he told me it was time for his break. I tapped on Faceless' shoulder, telling him we were about to head out as soon as he moved his headphones away.

Soon after they headed out of the front door, face masks covering half of their faces, as I was kissing Frida's head before locking the door behind me. When I turned they were both waiting for the elevator.  
"Ugh, it always takes forever, I'm taking the stairs." I quickly headed towards the staircase, relieved I wouldn't have to endure being in a really small place with the both of them, when I heard the elevator ding. I let out a sigh, rolling my eyes as I turned back to them. Both of them were signalling for me to go through first.  
"It's 2020, you go first boys." I couldn't believe the excuses I was making up to make things less uncomfortable, but the sure thing is that it was still an uneasy situation. I stepped into the elevator and turned around, the corner of my eye glancing at the mirror on the side, catching a glimpse of the tall figures behind me, who almost looked like they were my bodyguards. It made me nervous, the tip of my foot restlessly tapping the floor as we got to the ground. The sun was warm on our bodies as we stepped outside, summer just a few days away.

"You're not from around here, right?" I turned to Faceless, trying to make conversation so he wouldn't feel embarrassed.

"Exactly. I live in the countryside with my sister and our adoptive parents, but I'm moving nearby so I can be closer for... Work." he was gesturing, probably hiding a little discomfort. I glanced at Andre, his expression telling me he was hit by the other guy's words.

"Well if you need anything Athena, Alpha and I are going to be around. Have you met Tank by any chance?" I breathed a sigh of relief hearing Andre's words, happy he buried the hatchet and put his bitterness aside. The two were talking normally when we reached the store, travelling from aisle to aisle to get food and other products we needed.  
About half an hour later we were leaving the store, each of us carrying a couple of bags, when we saw a group of protesters, signs in hand, headed to the main street where the protests were getting crowdier and more violent day by day. They slowed down when they saw us, staring intently in Faceless' direction.

"Maybe your outfit isn't ideal to just stroll in the streets, you know?" Andre's hand was on the small of my back, pointing at a little restaurant just a few meters away. My heart was pounding in my chest when I realised they could have recognised his outfit and connected the dots, my mind going in circles around the possibility of us being at risk again.  
We sat down at a table, trying to keep calm and act like nothing happened though my hands were trembling. Andre reached for them.

"Hey, it's all good. They went their way, it's probably nothing to worry about." I stared at his beautiful eyes, so kind and reassuring, and squeezed his hands, forcing myself to smile at him.

"I just need to go to the restroom for a moment, I'll be right back." he nodded as I stood up and paced quickly towards the yellow door. I tried to still my breathing, leaning on the sink, whispering encouraging mantras at the reflection on the mirror. _It's okay. Nothing bad is going to happen. You have each other. Everything is going to be just fine._  
I ran the water, my hands turning red under the cold stream as they stopped shaking. I splashed some on my face, forcing myself to be strong.

"Better?" I smiled at Andre as I was sitting back in my seat, worry both in his expression and tone.

"Better." he smiled at my much calmer tone, relaxing on his seat when he understood I managed to calm down.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen." Faceless' words were sincerely apologetic as he was handing me the menu.

"It's alright, I got scared because we went through something recently... Besides, anyone could dress this edgy, right?" I smiled, managing a happy tone that comforted my own self too, as he grinned back at me. We ordered a sandwich and a few drinks each and did some small talk as we had our unscheduled lunch out, distracting ourselves as much as possible. After paying and tipping the waitress we headed back home.

The afternoon went on smoothly, Andre back to his laptop, Faceless reading a big book he bought on the way home, and me reorganising my notes and studying some more, taking care of my plants and occasionally playing with Frida and exchanging a few texts with my family and friends back home.

It was about 7pm when I put my books aside and headed to the kitchen, trying to figure out what I could make for dinner.  
"Since we're a vegetarian and a half, would roasted potatoes, an Italian salad and what I believe you guys call «croutons» be okay for dinner?" I turned to the two men, feeling a little uneasy when I realised their attention was already on me. Andre gave me a thumbs up, nodding.

"I'm good with anything." Faceless' grave voice resonated in my ears, still so unfamiliar.  
I peeled a bunch of potatoes, soaking them in cold water while I heated the oven and prepared a few herbs, then chopped the tubers into cubes. I felt two strong, familiar hands on my arms, rubbing my skin gently.

"My mother wasn't wrong when she said you were perfect." he whispered in my ear, lips on my right temple shortly after. I couldn't help but smile, overwhelmed by a wave of happiness finally feeling his affection again.

"Yes I do the cooking, yes I do the cleaning." I joked, hoping he'd remember the lyrics.

"That song made it to Europe? How do you still remember it? Hasn't it been ages?" he laughed, a surprised expression on his face as he leaned his body against the counter.

"Come on, it's not that old. It was a total hit, playing on every single radio for a whole summer." we were laughing as I got lost in his eyes just like the first time I saw them, butterflies in my stomach.

"Do you guys need help with dinner?" Faceless broke off, pacing to my left, interrupting the cute moment that just set between me and Andre. I turned to him, smiling not to make things weird.

"I have to lay these on the baking sheet, season it all and cut some leftover bread for the croutons, what would you like to do?" a few minutes later the two men were both cutting a few bread loaves into cubes, sometimes asking if they were doing the right job, which made me laugh in a bittersweet manner reminding me of the beautiful Sunday mornings spent at my grandmother's whenever we'd have a big family reunion, helping her in the kitchen.  
In the meantime I was getting the potatoes ready, adding olive oil, garlic, rosemary and pepper, and placing it in the oven to roast. When he was done, Andre brought his chopping board to the kitchen counter, taking advantage of Faceless' distraction to place a kiss on my neck, goosebumps running through my whole body.

"Cute." he pointed at my arm with a satisfied smile on his face, then turned to the cubes of bread. "Where do these go?"

"In a pan." he got one in a swift movement, turning on the stove as I was staring at him, hypnotised by his every movement. Soon after we added Faceless' cubes, poured some oil and spices and waited for them to turn golden. They got the table ready as I was slicing a few tomatoes and mozzarellas, seasoning them and joining basil, then bringing everything to the table. We enjoyed our dinner between a few compliments on the food and the news on TV, catching up with the latest ones. They mentioned the protests just superficially, as if it wasn't one of the most important things going on in the whole world at the moment, then reporting the news that Trump reversed the few protections transgender people had against sex discrimination in health care.

"He did what?!" there was a sinking feeling in my stomach, anger in my voice. _How could they do something like this? During a pandemic they're failing to contain?_ I looked at Andre, his eyes wide, unable to accept what we just heard.

"You guys didn't know?" Faceless was surprised, his gaze bouncing from me to Andre.

"We've been away for the weekend, we wanted to relax and get away from the toxicity that listening to the news can be sometimes... We never thought something like this could happen." I was trying to make sense of what that could mean, of how many people this could affect, and it just made me so miserable and enraged.

Andre stood up and crossed the room to get to his phone, bringing it to his ear.  
"Bro you didn't tell me anything." he stepped on my apartment's small balcony, his voice getting lost with the traffic in the streets.

"It's alright, we're getting these rights back soon, just wait and see." Faceless brought a hand to my upper back trying to comfort me.

"Just imagine how many people could get discriminated in these days, with everything that's happening, just because there are a bunch of fucking bigots running this country. I can't wait to leave." I crossed my arms, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

"You're leaving?" his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah, in a couple of months. To go back to a place that is full of problems itself, where if you aren't a rich cis white man you're probably going to be discriminated in more than a few ways..." I got lost in thought, an eyebrow arched. "Maybe I should move somewhere else entirely." it all was so absurd and nonsensical that it made me laugh. I heard footsteps approaching, suddenly realising Faceless' hand was still on my back, hoping with all of myself that he Andre wasn't going to get jealous again. His walk stopped for a few seconds, then he appeared to my right, fists clenched as he sat back down near me.

"How's Alpha?" I looked at him, searching for a little intimacy while he was avoiding my gaze.

"He's good now, it's been a hard weekend for him though." his tone was distant, probably mad about more than just the news. I reached for the clenched fist that was closer to me, his hand quivering briefly before I rubbed small circles on it with my finger, feeling it relax under my touch.

"It's going to be okay. We'll fight and change this shit no matter how hard it's going to be." he glanced up at me, smiling a little at my words as I squeezed his hand, hoping he'd feel the «I love you» I was dying to scream.

We finished our dinner and watched a comedy to try and lift everyone's spirit, which luckily happened as we stayed up late laughing at it. When the movie ended Faceless asked if he could use the shower.

"Sure, there are fresh towels in the bathroom, take all the time you need. In the meantime I'll get a few blankets to make the sofa a little more comfortable." he smiled gratefully, got a few clothes from his big backpack and headed to the bathroom.

"This reminds me of the night we first met." I turned to Andre, his tone seemed nostalgic, something I had rarely heard in his voice. "How comes you didn't offer to let me sleep on the sofa?" the question took me off guard, unsure what to reply, the smirk on his face not helping at all.

"Not my fault I found you already sleeping on my bed when I got out of the shower." I shrugged, breathing a sigh of relief.

"So you planned on making me sleep on the sofa while I put you on my comfiest blankets when I brought you home from the protest?" he came closer, towering over me just like he used to do in the first days, intimidating me still.

"Well, that's probably the only reason I didn't kick you out of bed when you held me." I stood on my tiptoes, kissing his lips as his arms held me close. We stood there for a while, my eyes shut, feeling the comforting drumming of his heartbeat right under my ear.

When Faceless got out of the shower we got ready for our goodnights; he and Andre bumped fists as I was kissing Frida goodnight after refilling her water and treats bowls. I went to pat Faceless' back but before I knew it he was about to kiss my cheek, something inside me freezing as I swiftly moved away.  
"Good night, boy." I tapped on his shoulder and headed to the bedroom, closing the door behind me.


	34. Big deal

I climbed in bed, crawling to then sit by Andre's side.

"I missed you today." his attention was on me, his eyes the colour of a deep emerald.

"Me too. And seeing the guy with those clothes kind of makes me miss us wearing them, especially seeing you in your gear." I cupped the side of his face and kissed his jaw, feeling his hand gently stroking my leg, moving up a little further as I hummed in a warning.

"What?" there was a loud smirk on his face that only made me want to kiss him badly.

"We aren't alone and my apartment's walls are pretty thin." I bit his bottom lip, his eyes open, staring at me.

"And? What if I want him to hear us? I saw the way he looks at you, I saw the hand on your back just when I was distracted... Maybe he finally takes the fucking hint. Sorry about the swear word." he rubbed his nose against mine as I chuckled at how cute his politeness made him, even though his fingers were still grazing my inner thigh.

"What if I told you he just tried to kiss my cheek before saying goodnight?" I saw his eyes turn darker as they jumped from my right iris to the left one and back, jaw clenching under my fingertips, his wide shoulders stiffened once again.

"Then I'll need you to be louder than I was even planning." I bit my lip as the hand that was on my inner thigh gripped the back of it, forcefully pulling me on his lap. He stood up, my arms around his neck, legs wrapped around his hips, as he headed to the door, pressing me against it. He kissed me as if his life depended on it, leaving me breathless, my head bumping on the wooden door, both of us giggling as he asked me if my head was all good.  
"God, I have missed you." his tone was low, words full of lust as I was catching my breath. He rocked against me, his hardness rubbing to my core, pinning me to the door as I gasped and grinned against his mouth.

"Is this how you turn when you're jealous?" I whispered, a smirk on my lips as I was tugging at his hair, his head moving to the side to expose the skin of his neck, attacking it with wet kisses. Moans vibrated in his throat, his strong hands gripping my ass, roaming everywhere around my body.

"You haven't seen anything yet." he growled in my ear, his words turning me on more than I already was, needing him so bad that there was an ache deep inside of me. His hand wrapped around my neck, the other moving slowly down my body, slipping under my shirt, grazing my stomach, whimpers leaving my mouth. "Do you want me to keep going?" his half-lidded eyes carried something sweet and caring in them while he was asking if we were on the same page. I kissed him sweetly, the hand that was previously on my neck now moving my fringe out of my eyes, running through my hair right after.

"Of course I want us to keep going." I kissed him eagerly right after he pushed my shirt over my head, exposing my upper body. His lips found my neck, moving south to my collarbones and breasts, gently letting me slip against the door, feet meeting the cold floor. I lifted his shirt, low moans leaving me uncontrollably as his tongue and fingertips were torturing my nipples. He kneeled in front of me, kisses on my thighs, fingers hooking on my jeans and panties as he slowly pushed them down. His eyes met mine through his long lashes as I removed his shirt, overwhelmed by a swooning feeling, realising once again how much I loved the man in front of me. I intertwined my fingers with his, pulling him so he'd stand up, kissing me with so much passion. One of his hands ran down my body, I was letting out breathy moans in our kiss as his fingers circled my clit slowly, my heart thumping in my ears. I clutched at his arm, hoping he would never stop. I looked up at him, green eyes filled with desire.  
I switched our positions, pushing him to the door, his eyebrows revealing how surprised he was by me taking control, irises turning darker yet again. They were stuck on me as I was kissing down his body, strong hands on my shoulders following my movements. I removed his black boxers, lightly scratching at his thick thighs, placing kisses on his stomach, near where his erected member was, his eyes closed as he was enjoying every second of it. I grabbed the base, his fingers fisting my hair while I teased his tip with my mouth, low raspy moans filling the room as I started bobbing my head, helping myself with both of my hands. His moans got louder and I felt him twitch as he looked down, gently stopping me, beckoning for me to stand up. I placed a few kisses on his abs, before he reached down for the back of my thighs and picked me up again, turning so my back would be against the wall. I could feel him against me, the sensation driving me crazy.

"You said you were missing me in the gear, right?" I nodded, hoping with all of myself he would just get on with it, getting more impatient every passing second. "You know what name to call then." he winked, thrusting deep and hard inside of me as I yelped and swore, feeling pain and pleasure at the same time, gripping his shoulders as my mind went blank.  
"Was I too harsh, baby?" his hands were gently rubbing my back, head craned to make sure everything was fine.

"A little bit... But it feels so good too." he chuckled lowly, kissing my cheek to then whisper a «Sorry». He gave me time to adjust to his size, my walls rapidly stretching around him, helping me by flicking my clit with his thumb, small wet kisses on my neck. Soon after I rocked my hips against his, his thrusts slow but deep, breathy moans hot on my neck. I did my best to stifle the loud moans ready to escape my lips.  
"Don't do that," I furrowed an eyebrow, eyes meeting his. "I want to hear you. And I want him to hear you." his voice was so low and rough I felt it in my core, feeling myself clench around him. His movements got faster, rocking my hips to meet his, my moans louder as he demanded.

"Good." he whispered in my ear, feeling his smirk against my cheek. My fingers tangled with his long hair, trying to hold his head still, desperately trying to kiss him though he was dodging my lips, teasing me.

"Please..." I whined, earning a chuckle that sent vibrations through my whole body.

"Say my name." I shut my eyes, trying to think and not to make the mistake of calling him by his real name.

"Riot." I breathed out, letting my head fall back against the door, my wrists pinned on top of it by his strong hand, the other slipping under my right thigh for support.

"Again?" he ordered as I changed direction while rocking my hips just to hear him grunt in my ear.

"Riot!" I could feel my orgasm beginning to build, words mixing with moans and whimpers, his fast pounding now sloppier and irregular.

"Yes, Athena?" I felt him twitch inside me, my body shaking with need, our moans louder.

"I'm so close." he let go of my wrists, hands gripping his shoulders. His lips were suddenly on mine.

"Come, love." pleasure shot through the both of us, his hands gripping my body in pleasure, my legs tightened around his hips, riding the last of the sparks.

"I fucking love you." he chuckled at my words, his forehead against mine before he gave a quick peck on my lips.

"I love you so much." he gently placed me on the bed, his strong, now tired body hovering over me as he was kissing me and caressing my body. "Do you think he finally took the hint?"

"Stop thinking about him." I giggled, kissing the tip of his nose. "Why are you so jealous? It's your mum I met the other day, not his." I held him close to my body in the attempt to reassure him.

"It wasn't a big deal, you know that." he was tracing random shapes on the skin of my rib cage, tickling me a little.

"It wasn't? So is wanting to move to a whole other country on the other side of the world, of which you don't know much about, just to be with me, I imagine." he turned to me, speechless, eyes staring into mine.

"Hey, when did you hear that?" he laughed softly and I could swear I saw him blushing a little.

"Yesterday, when you were sleeping on my lap. Sol thought we had already talked about it." I smiled running a hair down his long locks, playing with it as he was hiding his face in the crook of my neck. "Would you really?"

"Of course. I've never felt as alive as I did since the day I met you and being away from you last week was so hard. It's something can't really explain yet but I guess that's how you feel when you're really in love." his eyes met mine when I was tearing up in happiness.

"What a romantic man, I'm so lucky." I chuckled, wiping a tear away. "Life there isn't easy either sadly. There have been protests in many cities in support of what's happening here, but a lot of people are still too bigoted and ignorant, it's not easy to change their minds. Especially with politicians that make up false stories to discredit immigrants and black people in general. Or whoever they don't like, to be fair."

"I'm aware of some things happening over there. As much as we'd love the idea of a perfect place where everybody gets respected, I don't think it exists yet, you know? But it's what we're fighting for." he was staring at the ceiling, gesticulating a little bit in search for the right words, then looking at me. "I think I'm going to be okay as long as I have you."


	35. Drowsy words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: period pain 
> 
> I once again want to take this opportunity to say how much I appreciate your love, it's really what's keeping me going ❤️
> 
> If you have suggestions they're much welcomed as I'm running a bit out of ideas besides the general picture. Is there anything you'd like to happen? Want to give me prompts or ideas? I'm here and ready to type !!
> 
> Take care of yourself and stay safe.  
> Much love, artemisiae 🖤

"Ali? Alice?"  
I felt Andre's fingertips grazing my cheek, fingers then running through my hair as I was slowly pulled back from the dream world and into the real one, opening my eyes with a soft whine, no memories of falling asleep nor of the comfy cover that was on us. "You were talking in your sleep and seemed in pain, everything good?" he kissed my forehead as I felt myself smiling sleepily until really bad cramps broke out in my lower abdomen.

"I can't remember what I was dreaming about, but I'm pretty sure the pain was tied to my cramps." I brought a hand to my stomach, massaging it a little, breathing deeply to alleviate it. He sat up in bed, placing a hand over mine in such a cute way.

"Is it your period or-?" worry evident in his face and voice.

"Or what?" I laughed as I wondered whether he was thinking that he hurt me badly a few hours earlier or got me pregnant. "Yeah, you have nothing to worry about." I sat up in bed, kissing his cheek as I was praying all the possible gods and saints I didn't leak on the bedsheets. It would be a natural thing of course, and I knew he would understand, but the thought embarrassed me.

"Can I help in any way?" he was smiling at me, his sleepy face and concern melting my heart.

"Cuddles as soon as I get back?" I put on the first t-shirt I found and got a clean pair of panties before heading to the bathroom. The pain was so strong I could even feel my thigh muscles cramping and I knew it was probably going to be a hard bunch of days.

When I stepped back into the bedroom Andre wasn't there. I furrowed my eyebrows, curious, then headed to the kitchen trying not to make any sound as not to wake Faceless up. I spotted Andre in the dim light of the kitchen, his strong back facing me. I glanced at the man sleeping on the sofa, way too tall to even fit in it, taking up all the space so that Frida was cuddled up on the armrest.

"What about my cuddles?" I whispered, crossing my arms as soon as I reached the kitchen counter.

"You're already back? I wanted to surprise you." Andre put an arm around my neck, leaning his head against mine. "I'm getting your hot water bottle ready, hopefully it's going to help you."

"I don't deserve you." I buried my face in his chest, engulfed by his scent. "I barely use it because I'm always too lazy or in pain to even drag myself to the kitchen and heat the water... Are you even real?"

"Just as much as you." he booped my nose with a smile on his face, then focused on slowly pouring the water into the bottle, making sure it wasn't too hot. "Do you need anything else from the kitchen?" I shook my head, wrapping my arm around his as we went back to the bedroom.

"Wait." I went to the sofa, carefully picking Frida up, and joined Andre who was waiting for me. A small groan escaped my lips as I was closing the door behind me, my other hand clutched my lower stomach as a wave of sharp pain ran through me.

"Is it hurting?" he placed a hand on the back of my neck, massaging it slowly.

"A lot. It's not always this bad, but my hormone condition surely doesn't help. There are times I don't even notice I'm on my period, others my cramps get so excruciating that I feel like fainting." I tried to relax under his touch.

"I'm sorry love, if there's anything I could do I'm right here, just tell me. Let's go back to bed?" I nodded and sat on the bed.

"What was I saying in my sleep?"

"I have no idea, it was all in Italian I think." he chuckled, shaking his head. "You need to teach me some."

"I will if you'd like to." he pulled the covers over me and tucked me in as soon as I laid in bed, joining me soon after, an arm slipping under my pillow. He gently pulled my t-shirt up, placing the hot water bottle on my stomach as I was cupping his face.  
"You know, if you asked me to marry you I would say yes right now." I joked, hoping he'd understand how much I appreciated his care and attention.

"C'mon, it's nothing." he was grinning at me, a sparkle in his eyes I only saw in a few occasions.

"It's a lot to me. If I hadn't met you, who would be taking care of me now?" I pouted, waiting for an answer.

"Your medic friend probably. Something was going on between the two of you." his flirty expression made me die inside.

"Maddy?! Yeah, she's pretty." I paused, waiting for his reaction, his mouth hanging open. "But she just took care of my wound and then pointed out how insane it was that a giant man in riot gear was throwing tear gas canisters back at the police, what did you think was even happening?" I bit my lip, remembering the surreal scene that seemed to be cut out of a movie.

"Nah, there was something in your eyes when I came back." he wrinkled his nose.

"Guess why."

"Because you liked her?"

"Because I just saw all of your passion, strength and wrath as you were up at the barricade, it was such a powerful thing to see... I really wanted to kiss you when you got back, but your huge helmet was very much in the way." I rolled my eyes, smiling at him.

"I can make up for it now." his hand cupped the side of my face, our kiss soft but still full of passion. We laid down on the bed and cuddled in silence. Silence that wasn't just the absence of words, it wasn't awkwardness, uncertainty, vulnerability, it wasn't marked by the continuous worry to fill the void. It was special, comfortable, soothing.

"Alice?" his voice was sleepy, the way he said my name making my heart flutter.

"Mhm?" I was playing with a long strand of his hair.

"Have you ever thought about how cute our kids would be?" he was mumbling, probably in drowsiness, but his question took me by surprise.

"What?!" I tried to suffocate the nervous laugh that was about to spurt out as I saw his right leg jerk up, lifting the cover.

"What? Was I saying something?" his sleepy face and confused expression snatched a loud laugh out of me, followed by cramps that made me groan in pain.

"It's okay, you were just mumbling as you were about to fall asleep." I brushed it off with a chuckle but I couldn't stop thinking about what he said. I knew he was already thinking about our future in a pretty solid way, hence him wanting me to meet Sol, the most important person in his life, and wanting to move to Europe with me; this probably meant that the perfect future he was picturing included babies, a topic I had already set my mind on in a pretty definite way, especially knowing it could be dangerous in my condition. I always wanted to be a mother, but after my diagnosis there was a new thought making its way into me: the possibility of adopting a child and providing them with a life full of love, care and support. _Would that be good enough for him?_ I felt a wrench to my heart just at the thought, but I tried to be strong.

"I'm sorry, I can't even remember what I was thinking about." he laughed softly, pulling me closer to him.

"Don't worry, big man. Let's go back to sleep?" Frida nestled near me over the blanket shortly after I rolled to the side, a hand holding his, the other clutching the covers in the hope that Andre couldn't sense I was on the verge of tears. He gave a quick peck to my temple and dozed off a few minutes later, his breathing soothing me to sleep as I tried not to weep.

I woke up to the buzzing of my phone on my bedside table, my 9:30 alarm making me realise it was quite late in the morning compared to the previous day, bed empty, grey clouded sky just outside the window fitting my gloomy mood perfectly. I sat on the bed with a sigh, noticing a small note.

"I imagined you had a difficult night so I let you sleep a little longer. I love you x"

I couldn't help but smile, his thoughtful note melting my heart and making it all a little bit better. I quickly stopped at the bathroom to make sure everything was fine, freshen up and change into a pair of joggers, then headed to the kitchen.

"Good morning everyone." I smiled sleepily at the two men as they greeted me, Andre already working on his laptop, Faceless near the sink cleaning something.

"Are you doing better?" Andre touched my hand with his fingers when I reached the table.

"Yep, seems like it." I forced a smile and put my hand on his shoulder, then headed to the kitchen to prepare some coffee and biscuits to eat on the sofa, seeking a little bit of relax.

"I have good news." Faceless sat down on the sofa near me as I looked at him. "The apartment is empty so I'm moving there in a couple of hours." I chugged down a sip of coffee feeling embarrassed for what went on in the past 24 hours, between him being a little insistent, me avoiding his attention and Andre's jealousy acting up, especially in the bedroom.

"That's great, I'm happy for you. Are you excited?"

"Very excited, it's the first time I'll have my own place and I can't wait to dive in this experience." he was smiling, his confidence reminding me of the days before I landed here, thrilled at the thought of starting a new chapter of my life.

"It seems like everything is going to work out just fine for you, but if you need help or feel like you're struggling don't hesitate to reach out to us, okay? Living alone can be a little difficult at times."

"Did you find it hard?" the soft expression on his face made me feel as if I was talking to my little brother.

"A little bit at first, but mostly during quarantine. I felt completely alone, but luckily I had Frida." he nodded, giving me a reassuring smile.

"She probably wasn't really comfortable last night, sorry about that." he chuckled, his eyes glistening.

"Don't worry about that, she loves to sleep on the floor sometimes so the armrest was more than fine." I laughed as I went back to the kitchen to clean my cup. As much as I tried to, it wasn't the best day to focus on studying so I opted for a lazy morning listening to music through my earphones as to not disturb anyone around me, trying to distract myself from the cramps that were still torturing my abdomen and the question Andre sleepily posed, still floating around in my head.

Shortly after lunch Faceless got his stuff ready and headed to the door.

"Thank you for your hospitality guys, I'm sorry if I disturbed you." he was smiling thankfully as he was putting on his face mask and hat, eyes almost disappearing as his nickname made so much sense for the first time.

"You're welcome, we had so much fun last night watching TV so if you ever want to do that again you know where to find us." I was smiling, recognising that despite the weird tension his company had still been better than the one of a few friends I made in the last months.

"Right. As she said earlier, we're here if you ever need help too." Andre's happy tone made my heart jolt with joy, I somehow felt like we were saying goodbye to a family friend of ours. We hugged quickly and watched him disappear down the stairs. Thunders were rumbling ferociously in the distance when we closed the door, the chilly air and faint smell of rain suggesting a storm was coming.

"What now?" I wrapped my arms around Andre's torso, looking up at his beautiful face.

"I would say I have to get back to work, but the truth is that I started earlier so I could be free and take care of you." he placed a kiss on my forehead, long locks tickling my cheeks as his arms snaked around me.

"Seriously? But I'm all good, really..."

"Shh, I just wanted to spend time with you." he glanced around the room, staring out of the window. "Promise you'll close your eyes and not turn around?"


	36. Strong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: period pain, infertility, emotional abuse
> 
> Brace yourselves for some fluff and angst and some more fluff :')

"Well okay Persephone, I'll try my best not to make Orpheus' mistake." he laughed hard at my joke, amused by the fact that we both shared passion for Greek mythology.

"You have no idea how much I love you." he held me closer and kissed me softly, then accompanied me to the sofa and made sure I had my eyes closed and my back to whatever he was going to do. I heard him pacing frantically around the house, opening and closing doors, imagining he swiftly peeked at me a couple of times to see if I was keeping my promise as I felt his eyes on me.

"Miss?" he was behind me, his fingertips softly tickling my neck as I laughed and ducked my head to try and hide as much skin as possible.

"Yes sir? Can I open my eyes? Are we fully out of Hades' realm, also known as the underworld?" he chuckled and placed a kiss on my cheek.

"Now you can." I opened my eyes to find him excitedly glancing at me and giving me his hand as I stood up. When I turned around with his arm on my shoulders to guide me, the long white curtains on my balcony were draped up as to make a fort, a soft blanket was laid on the floor and all the pillows that are usually on the bed and sofa were placed over it. My heart melted at the view and I couldn't hide my smile as I was looking up at him. I stood on my tiptoes to reach for his face, his big, warm hand on my back.

"How can you possibly be this cute? It's inhuman, I swear." I pecked his lips in between words, unable to believe it wasn't just a figment of my imagination.

"I just want to make you happy." he was smiling, soft eyes looking at me. We sat down, looking at the way the weather was quickly changing before our eyes, flashes of lightning through the clouds, soft music playing in the background. He patted on his thick thigh so I would lay down and lean my head on it.

"You know, I used to be so scared of thunderstorms. Not of thunders like most people would, but rather of the lightnings." he smiled at my words, fingers gently tracing my cheek.

"Maybe because they're almost always followed by thunders?" he booped my nose, eyes stuck on me.

"Or maybe because they can set stuff on fire and literally kill people if they're struck by them." I laughed, his hand squeezing my face. I reached up and touched one of his long soft curls that were out of place, giggling as I watched it bounce back into shape.  
The clouds up in the sky were getting darker, moving fast under the wind's invisible touch, swallows flying high in circle motions, suggesting the thunderstorm was near. The first big drops of rain splashed on the hard tiles of the balcony's floor and against the glass, wind getting stronger. Soon after the rain was pouring heavily outside, as I sat up snuggling closer to Andre. He put an arm around me, holding me close as the rise and fall of his chest gently cradled me. I pressed a kiss against his neck.  
"Ti ho già detto che ti amo?" he craned his head to look at me.

"What was that?" he chuckled softly.

"Did I already tell you that I love you?" I smiled at his excited expression, repeating it in Italian so he could learn it, his innocent attitude melting my heart as he was saying it over and over again trying to get it right. He held my hands, pulling me closer to him to place quick kisses on my lips, laying me on the blanket as we laughed.

"How do you say «it will never be enough»?" I pushed a few strands of hair behind his ear, analysing every feature on his face.

"Non sarà mai abbastanza." he repeated it getting it perfectly right at first try to my surprise. But I was even more astonished to learn he's fluent in Russian and Portuguese. "Okay Mr Mysterious, you'll have a few things to teach me too then." he kissed my cheek and laid down beside me, fingers tangled. Everything was so peaceful though thunders and lightning bolts were rumbling and flashing on the other side of the glass. I could feel and breathe his love in every little action, in every word, in every touch. I owed him affection, devotion and sincerity and I was ready to give it all to him.  
"Remember when last night you were talking as you were about to fall asleep?"

"Oh no, what did I say?" he brought a hand to his eyes, looking at me through two of his long fingers, black nail polish pretty much chipped.

"Nothing embarrassing, don't worry." I smiled softly. "You asked me if I ever thought about how cute our children would be." I was stammering a little, trying not to rush things and get too emotional or scared to get to the point.

"Nothing embarrassing you said?" he sat up, his tone nervous even though he was still smiling softly. I joined him, bumping his arm with my shoulder.

"It's not embarrassing, it's adorable." I breathed in deeply, bracing myself for the serious talk. "I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to have children." I let the words settle, eyes fixing the drops still falling on the balcony, remembering how long, frustrating and hurtful the process to discover my condition was. I was scared of looking at him, feeling that somehow I wasn't going to be enough, though being perfectly aware that women were born to do so much more than to just bare children. I kept on talking as if it was something so detached from me, though it influenced my whole life and my future too. "It's nothing sure yet, nobody knows how things can turn out because there isn't enough research on it yet, which is something that always made me so mad and frustrated. It hurt me a lot because being a mother had always been a dream of mine. I just know that some of us have fertility problems, that pregnancies could be dangerous both for the baby and the mother. That said, miscarriages are also pretty freque-" he hugged me closely, so tight and unexpectedly that it startled me and for a moment I was unable to feel the air in my lungs. I shut my eyes and clutched onto him, swallowing my tears, something telling me that things were going to be fine no matter what.

"I'm so sorry, baby. Truly." he placed a kiss on my left temple, a wet tear passing from his chin to my cheek and flowing down my face. "You don't deserve to be in so much pain, I feel bad just imagining what you could go through, and-" he was sniffling and stammering a little, his arms still around me though he was gesticulating in search for words. "and I really don't want you to feel any kind of pressure. This doesn't make me love you any less, okay? I'm sorry, I don't even know what I was thinking about last night, for real..."

"Hey, it's all good, you don't need to apologise for that, no one can control what we think about right before falling asleep." I held his face in my hands, wiping his tears away as I kissed him softly, trying to reassure him though seeing him this way was filling my own eyes with tears.

"But seriously, I have no idea what was going on in my head, I... I don't even think I'd be a good father." his words hit me, it was something I never thought about before now.

"Baby, don't say that," I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him for a few seconds, his hands softly caressing my back. "I get why you're concerned, but I know in my heart you'd make such a good father."

"I doubt it, I never even had a father figure in my life, I'd have no idea how to act around a child of whatever age." he wiped away a tear from my cheek, his eyes suddenly low. I placed a finger under his chin just like he usually does to me, reddened green eyes now on mine.

"Remember when we met Maddy's brother?" he nodded. "That was much more than good. The way you managed to make him smile though he was so upset, the fact that he laughed hard despite what happened as soon as you ruffled his hair..."

"You said that's superhero stuff, it has nothing to do with parenthood."

"Don't kids always think of their parents as their favourite superheroes?" I smiled at him, seeing the corners of his lips curl up. "You're going to be a great dad, whether it's with me or not."

"Why did you say that?" he furrowed his eyebrows, questioning me as I was taken aback from my own words. I waited a few seconds before speaking again, gathering my thoughts.

"Past relationships, I guess?" I shrugged, smiling to brush it off. "It was always hard for me to trust people because I never thought they seriously wanted to be with someone like me. The only time I managed to completely let someone in they swore they would love me forever and to never leave me, but they gaslighted me in every possible way. It was nice at first, but they... She got in my head, pushed me away from my family and friends, kept me from enjoying the things I love the most in life, it got toxic for the both of us." he took my hand in his, rubbing small circles on it. "She would threaten me whenever we fought, she cheated on me three times all the while saying that being cheated on was her biggest fear, also continuously making me feel bad for my sexuality and feeling threatened by anyone I met. And then she left me when I needed support the most."

He touched my cheek softly, playing with my hair as I gave him a soft smile. "When was that?"

"My mother was hospitalised for two weeks due to health problems a few years ago. I was busy going back and forth to the hospital while she was cheating on me for the third time, not even showing a little compassion or love, not a word, not a nice gesture, no more nicknames, nothing. It was over for me back then, but I just suffered in silence and let it flow, scared that she could get violent. She called it quits soon later and I got back up on my own." I swallowed hard to get rid of the lump in my throat. "I'm continuously scared of being abandoned once again, struggling to believe that the people who enter my life are going to stay, so since then I never managed to truly let someone in. That's before I met you." his smile was so big and bright that I thought the sun came out through the dark clouds that were still in the sky. "Something tells me I can bring down my walls, I just... trust you." I smiled thinking of all the times he demonstrated his love in just a few weeks. Those few weeks meant to me more than anything I ever felt before. He leaned closer to kiss me, the rumble of a really loud thunder taking our breaths away as we laughed, his forehead resting on mine, staring right into my eyes.

"Is your mother fine now?" his hands were on my shoulders, his tone caring.

"Much better, she just has to keep everything under control and have check-up exams every once in a while."

"I can't wait to meet her. You're so incredibly strong, you know?" I closed my eyes appreciating his words.

"And so are you, my love." I rested my head on the crook of his neck, Frida rubbing against my knee and jumping on his lap, licking away the dried tears on his cheek as we both chuckled. About half an hour later the rain stopped, thunders still rumbling lowly in the distance, the air seemingly lighter, just like the weight on my chest. "My favourite Italian song is stuck in my mind right now." I chuckled, his fingers grazing my cheek softly.

"Sing it for me." I hid my face in his neck in embarrassment, humming negatively. "Or play it?" I stood up searching for my phone, quickly typing to find the song and press play. I stretched out my arm gesturing for him to stand up, even though he was somewhat hesitant at first. "I'm only dancing if you tell me what it means." he laughed softly as I pecked his lips to shut him up, his strong hand locking with mine, the other on the small of my back as we slowly moved to the rhythm, our bodies close.

"When you are here with me," I paraphrased the song's words as closely as I could.  
"This room hasn't got walls anymore, but trees... Infinite trees. When you... are next to me, this purple ceiling... it doesn't exist anymore... I see the sky above us." he hung from my lips as if I was about to reveal a secret he had been dying to know.  
"And we remain here, lonely... As if nothing else is left in the world." I smiled at him, a spark making his eyes shine, my heart pounding in my chest as if it was the first time I was holding him so close to my body.  
"A harmonica is playing, it seems like an organ that quivers... for you and me, up in the immensity of the sky." his lips were on mine as soon as he understood there was going to be an instrumental bridge in the song, my arms wrapping around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. He broke our kiss, smiling down at me.

"If all Italian songs are this beautiful I want to learn it as soon as possible. It sounded more like a poem rather than lyrics." he twirled me around as we both laughed, dipping me on the sofa as he sat next to me.

"Sorry to disappoint, they aren't all this good. Some of them are truly wonderful though." I kissed him softly, laying down as he leaned in between my legs and placed his head on my stomach, a happy sigh leaving my lips. "You're everything I've ever dreamed of. And don't even get me started with the looks." I glanced down to find him adoringly looking at me, my heart skipping a beat. He laughed softly and placed a kiss on my stomach, over my shirt.

"I can't believe you're real. What if you didn't go to the protest? Or if you never moved here? My life would be completely different."

"And probably better." I joked, sticking my tongue out, a confused expression on his attractive face.

"What? Never."

"I was joking! But sometimes I do wonder about what everything would be like if I did something differently."

"Like how a little action could influence and change a whole lifetime? Do you think that if we did something differently other major things wouldn't happen?"

"It's complicated, but yeah? There could be a whole different me if I had done something differently. What if I gave up on my passions? What if I rescued another cat instead of Frida? Or if I turned down my scholarship? If I chose not to go to the protest that day?"

"What if you got out of my bedroom window before I stopped you?" he laughed. "My nose would have been just fine but you'd probably end up in a hospital anyway because those stairs haven't been safe in years." I chuckled at the thought.

"I just realised you saved me twice that day, how could I not fall in love?"

"Right?" the smirk on his face made my heart jolt.

"What if you just kissed me?" I cupped his face with my hands as he hovered over me, careful not to hurt me, then leaned down to kiss me passionately, his lips soft against my own. I heard my stomach growl.

"Is someone hungry?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anticipating PCOS awareness month to tell you all that you should always pay attention to what your body is telling you.  
> If you think there's something wrong with your periods you should reach out and ask for help: irregular periods, high/low flows, really bad cramps, weight gain, acne and "excessive" body and face hair could (but not surely!! remember I'm not a doctor) all be symptoms of problems that need a certain kind of attention and care.  
> Diseases tied to our reproductive systems, such as Endometriosis and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, can have tons of other consequences if they go untreated for a really long time, including some serious ones; these diseases are so much more common than we think, affecting approximately 10% of people with vulvas all around the world – although the number is probably much higher due to the fact that many people are misdiagnosed or even never show symptoms.  
> For years – or centuries, to be exact – doctors thought that periods were supposed to be painful and they were even convinced that people with vulvas were exaggerating when describing their sufferings, creating a still present stigma around the whole topic that prevents these diseases from having the attention and knowledge they truly deserve.  
> Nowadays there are no cures, but medications (like birth control, hormone therapy, but even just a change in lifestyle) are out there to help us out and I promise that things do get better.  
> Don't let the long process discourage you, life is short and you deserve to feel as best as you can while you're here.  
> Take care of yourself and know your strength.
> 
> Also, if you want to listen to the Italian song Alice and Andre danced to, there it is: Il cielo in una stanza by Mina. Enjoy it ❤️
> 
> Much love, a


	37. Home

I laughed in his mouth, ruffling his hair as he gave me an annoyed look, blowing a long curl away from his face.

"What do you want for dinner?" I inquired as he smirked down at me, rubbing his nose against mine.

"You?" his low, playful voice made my whole body tingle.

"Stop it, I'm being serious here." I chuckled, slapping his cheek lightly.

"Alright, how about..." he paused, squinting an eye to try and come up with suggestions. "Mushroom risotto?"

"Say it again?" I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling so big.

"No way, you're going to make fun of me." he hid his face in my neck, the feeling of his hot breath on my soft skin mixed with the weight of his body on mine surely not helping the excitement I was already feeling.

"That's not true, it was adorable. Most of the time I melt when foreign people say Italian words. Like when John mispronounced my surname last week." he looked at me, laughing lightly. "I'd like to properly meet him someday soon." he pecked my lips.

"I'll see what I can do."

We got to work on our risotto, heating olive oil and garlic as Andre was thinly slicing the mushrooms and chopping parsley. He pressed his body against mine as I was stirring them in the pan and boiling the rice, his fingers intertwining on my front as he placed a kiss on top of my head, shivers running through my body as I felt nothing but happiness.  
Soon enough we were sitting down at the table, TV mumbling lowly, the sound of spoons on the ceramic plate echoing around the room in the few moments we weren't talking.

"If you could go on a date right now, what would you choose?" his sweet words made me smile, cheek flushed.

"Since I'm not really in the mood to go out uhh... Movies?"

"We did that last night." he laughed lightly, reaching for my hand to play with my fingers softly.

"Right." I pursed my lips thinking about something else, gasping when the idea came to my mind. "Art date?" he grinned at me with a nod.

"Get everything ready, I'm taking care of the dishes tonight." a few minutes later he turned to me, my eyes fixed on his figure as he was carefully drying his fingers with the red checkered dishcloth. I was overwhelmed with feelings, amazed by every little movement of his body, like every motion was able to give me life and move me as well. "What?"

"Nothing." I shrugged, feeling my heart drumming against my ribcage, holding my right leg up and under my chin. He quickly glanced at the most disparate art supplies displayed on the table, then paced towards me. "Just enjoying my view." he smiled at my words, cupping my face with his hands as he bent down to kiss me.

"Adorable." he took his seat as he asked me what he could draw, my replies not satisfying him. "I think I found what I could draw but you can't see." he built a wall made up of a few pencil cases and jars full of brushes to shield his paper from my eyes, my curiosity getting even higher.

"That's not fair, but if that's the game we're playing I'll do the same." I got up to get a few old canvases to build my own wall.

"What's this?" he grabbed one, analysing the green eyes painted on it, my heart skipping a beat as I tried to suffocate my nervous laugh.

"I don't know, do they look familiar to you?" something inside me was shaking with excitement, the same thing I felt every time I waited for opinions on my art from someone I really cared about. It was like waiting for someone to translate my heart's language into words, carefully listening to them to see if they got everything right.

"Is- is it my eyes?" his jaw hung open, expression stunned as his eyes met mine.

"I'm sorry, love." I saw a mix of reactions appearing on his face, making me chuckle. "It's obviously your eyes, I painted them before our first date. I was a nervous wreck just at the thought that we were meeting but time went so slowly and I couldn't stop thinking about your eyes so there they are." he was speechless for a moment, trying to register my words, until a smile painted his lips.

"I love it even if it's not finished." his fingers softly traced over the dry paint, then he glanced up at me. "And so you couldn't stop thinking about me, huh?"

"Can I have my barrier back, please?" I stretched out my arm as he laughed, flirty. "I'm not the one who smoked to lower the tension." I arched my eyebrow, his teeth sinking in his bottom lip.

"Touché." we started drawing, sometimes glancing up to find inspiration from the source of joy sitting opposite to me, occasionally finding his eyes scanning me as I squirmed inside, curious to see what he was working on. I loved seeing him so focused on whatever he was doing, sometimes clenching his jaw or cracking his knuckles.  
Frida jumped on the table, sniffing everything she found on her path, nudging against Andre's shoulder as he scratched her head. She then pawed her way to me, meowing as she bit and played with my pencil, almost ruining the dramatic illustration of the moment Riot held me in his arms at the protest.

"Your mother told me you almost chose to study art." he nodded, eyes fixed on the paper. "Did you ever think of it as a career?" he glanced at me, a little bit lost in thought.

"Up until a certain point of my life yes, I wanted to become an illustrator. Then I started dedicating myself to work and now I feel like I'm out of practice most of the time." he shrugged, his lips turning to a line.

"Well, you can change that through practising." I laughed lightly, trying to encourage him.

"Why are you asking me this? What's on your mind?" he furrowed his eyebrows, a faint smirk painted on the corner of his mouth.

"Let's say I had an idea. I think it's a good one, but it's something I would never do myself because I'd feel as if taking the spot of someone who deserves it much more than I do and it wouldn't be fair." he tilted his head, curious.

"Go on." his tone seemed excited, placing his pencil down on the table.

"Remember the mythology book you showed me?"

"Of course." he chuckled, somewhat embarrassed.

"I was thinking about it and this what came to my mind: imagine one that gathers all the stories of police brutality, or at least the most relevant ones, and tells them scene by scene to spread awareness about them. What do you think?" he glanced around, his expression unreadable. "Okay, it's not that brilliant." I chuckled, but I felt my heart crushing, until he reached for my hand across the table.

"It's an amazing idea, baby." he was grinning at me, eyes glistening in excitement.

"You think so?" I breathed a sigh of relief, looking at his happy expression.

"Absolutely, but- you want me to do that?" he shook his head in disbelief.

"Why not? I saw your talent and your passion for these matters, you'd do an amazing job and I think you'd be the perfect person for it." I squeezed two of his long fingers in my hand, watching as his eyes glinted like he finally found inspiration for something he had been wanting to do for such a long time.

"I'll think about it." he leaned over the table to kiss my hand softly, his eyes falling on my drawing.

"Hey, no!" I placed my hand on his eyes, the other trying to cover as much paper as I could. "You're now legally obliged to show me your drawing." I crossed my arms acting annoyed but I was secretly dying to finally see what he had been working hard for.

"Legally obliged," he repeated, laughing. "you're too cute." he blew some small pieces of rubber away, then got his paper in his hands. "Are you ready?" I nodded in excitement, breathing in deeply to brace myself as he slowly turned it towards me. I squinted my eyes a little, unable to stop myself from smiling as his sheet pictured exactly what I would see if I were to have a mirror placed at the other end of the table.

"Out of practice, you said?" I reached for it, carefully taking it in my hands to intently look at it. Not a detail was missing, the window at my back with my beloved plants on the windowsill, the light curtains on the other side of which we could see the city's lights, a couple of paintings I hung on the wall almost as soon as I first got in my apartment, the table with some of the supplies I had before my eyes, and me, head propped up on my hand as I was playing with my necklace, a soft, focused expression as I held my pencil between fingers, my oversized t-shirt falling on my body and exposing my right shoulder. "I love it so much, don't even try to argue that you aren't talented." I stood up and reached him, his eyes fixed on me as he chuckled in embarrassment. "I'm going to frame it. Is it finished?" I snaked my arm around his shoulders, rubbing the skin of his arm.

"Not yet, I want to colour it too." he smiled up at me, leaning in for a quick kiss. "Is yours finished?"

"Pretty much, but you already saw it." I joked as I reached for it and handed it to him. I saw his eyes analysing every trace of pencil, cheeks getting bigger and bigger as he smiled.

"Take away the gear and it's a reversed Pietà." he chuckled as I laughed at the reference and his pronunciation of the Italian word.

"Right?! So dramatic. That's how I imagine the scene after all." he put his arm around my waist, pulling my body closer to him.

"I love it and I love you." he buried his face in my chest, the feeling making me giggle.

"I have an idea." I gathered my acrylics on his side of the table along with a few of my favourite paint brushes, his eyes following my movements. "Can you sit at the edge of the chair for me?"

"What are you doing?" he chuckled and obliged as I sat behind him, lifting his shirt, a happy hum vibrating in his throat. He pulled his shirt over his head, waiting for my next move. My fingers brushed his back, mapping out some ideas as I saw goosebumps appearing on his skin. "That feels nice." I chuckled and placed a few kisses across his shoulder blades, noticing a few freckles. "That's even better."

"Favourite painting?" I gathered his hair and put it up in a bun, his scent filling my lungs.

"Klimt's Kiss I think, why?" he tilted his head, looking at me with the corner of his eye.

"I somehow love you even more now." I heard him laughing lightly as I reached for my yellow acrylic and laid down a thin layer, his body shivering the exact moment the paint came in contact with his skin. I traced an abstract yellow cloud, leaving space for the lovers' heads and hands, finding analogies of their intimacy, love and delicacy with our own, my heart thumping in my ears getting as emotional as if I was staring at the actual masterpiece. I saw his shoulder muscles flexing as I heard the soft sound of the pencils colouring his beautiful illustration, peeking at it once in a while to see how it was coming.  
Darker and more brilliant yellow appeared on his back, along with geometric shapes of grey and black on the man's robe, red, blue and purple on the woman's. I struggled a little to depict the man's face, bent towards the woman's cheek to press a kiss, their hands gently resting on each other's. I moved to get a better view of the ensemble, the picture moving with his breaths. "Mh, not bad." I heard him yawn. "Tired?" I placed a kiss on the back of his neck, careful not to touch the still drying paint.

"A little. Can I finally look at it?" he placed his hand on my thigh, rubbing it over my joggers.

"Yep, now you can." he stood up as I guided him to the bathroom where my big mirror was, flicking the light on, excited for him to see it. Back facing his reflection, he turned his head, the corners of his lips shooting up instantly.

"It's amazing. Der Kuss..." he struggled to read, words backwards. "Is that German?"

"Ja, mein Lieber." I smiled up at him, placing my hands on his chest.

"You're full of wonders." he held me close, placing a kiss on my forehead. Conscious it would soon be wiped away the moment he'd shower, I took a few pictures of his back when he suggested taking one in which we recreated the painting, my smile impossible to shake away.

"Shall I run you a bath, Madam?" his lips grazed my hand, fingers intertwining.

"Why must you be so gentle, Sir?" shortly after I was stepping in the warm water, feeling my muscles relax as Andre went to the kitchen to tidy the mess of pencils, pastels and acrylics we made in the nice evening, leaving me a little privacy. A few minutes later he was sitting on the lid of the toilet and massaging my scalp, the sweet smell of camomile mixed with his soft movements making me feel calm.

"I was thinking of going back to my apartment tomorrow." I was silent for a moment, his words hitting me hard as I was realising for the first time just how used I got to have him staying at mine. A shot of pain ran through me at the thought of being apart, hating myself for getting this attached to him so rapidly once again. I had always been the one who was either pretty much uninterested in someone, or went head over heels for them, no middle ground. It made me wonder why did I have to be this way.

"Mhm." my eyes were low, forcing a smile as I kept myself busy gathering bubbles in my hands. He reached for my chin, fingers tilting my head towards him. "What?"

"How do you feel about it?" I felt suddenly intimidated and exposed as he was clearly analysing my expression, my mind jumping from what I was feeling to what was reasonable.

"I- uhh... Everybody needs their space, right?" I played it cool, fighting the urge of moving my face away from his touch.

"Is that how you feel though?" he tilted his head, my heart pounding in my chest. I nodded, gulping as I tried to keep my hands still. "Would you miss me?" I glanced around the room as if in deep in thought.

"No." I replied coyly and pecked his lips, feeling the water move around me as I shifted my weight.

"Really? Lying isn't your best skill." he booped my nose, smirking. "I was just going to get some clothes and other stuff, but if you say you really aren't going to miss me then..." I splashed some water his way when he was turning his head, getting his jeans wet as I heard him gasp.

"Stop fucking with me big man, you know I was going to miss you." I tried to sound serious but the look on his face was way too funny, snatching a laugh out of me. "You really are moving in, then." I reached for his wrist and pulled him towards me as he was wiping a few drops of water away from his face, his low chuckle filling the air.

"My apartment never felt like home anyway."


	38. Anything for you

He kissed me sweetly, then told me how hard it was for him to feel comfortable in his apartment though he had been living there for a few years. "My first tasks at work paid really well, as they do now after all. Back then I used to live with my mom, but all I wanted was to move away from that toxic town, I felt trapped for as long as I could remember. Moving away would have been a good way to show them all that I wasn't who they decided I was. I wasn't the nerd underdog, I wasn't the fatherless kid who spent all his time with his «boyfriend»," he air-quoted, an eyebrow arched up. "I wasn't what they named me, I wasn't like they saw me, not white enough, not black enough, never good enough. I needed to do it for myself. I used to think that having my own big flat with nice expensive furniture and one of the best views over the whole city would have made me happy, but I quickly realised that it wasn't what I truly wanted." I looked at him with a kind expression, sympathizing with his words as I saw sincerity in his eyes and heard pain in his voice.

"What did you want?" I was playing with his fingers, a faint smile painted on his face as he was gathering his thoughts.

"I wanted love. Acceptance. Somebody who saw me for me. I thought I found them a couple of times but it never felt completely right, I couldn't open up to them even if I tried and I felt like they wanted to change and shape me into someone I wasn't and didn't want to be. That's when I'd push them away because they felt exactly like the people I was running from." mixed feelings ran through me, happy that he was sharing this with me, but aching to know he went through so much sorrow during his life.

"I'm so sorry, you didn't deserve any of that." I reached for his face, cupping his cheek as he leaned in my hand slightly.

"No need to be, you're the exact opposite. You're selfless, thoughtful, understanding... You listen to me and never make me feel judged. You care about other people as if their problems concerned you directly and it's inspiring, it gives me hope that there are people out there who would do the same. You feel like hope." I could feel tears forming in my eyes, my vision blurred as I smiled at his words, his hand reaching mine and rubbing the back of it. "I could see you cared about me the moment you said you didn't like thinking of me being out at night."

"The embarrassment I felt in that moment... We were basically strangers." I laughed and shook my head remembering that night, drying a tear that was escaping the corner of my eye.

"That's what I'm talking about, you didn't even know me." he snorted lightly, his smile breaking the tension his sentences just created.

"You would have done the same for me. You probably would have offered me to stay at yours if I didn't hurt you."

"Hmm," he paused, bringing his forefinger to his bottom lip as he thought. "that's true, even if our rules forbade it. But I would do anything for you." his hand reached the back of my neck, gently pulling my head closer to his so he could place a kiss on my lips.

A few minutes later I was wrapped in a warm, comfy towel, hands slightly leaning against the sink as Andre was blowdrying my hair, my eyes stuck on our reflection in the mirror thinking of how far we had come. My last important relationship left me as petrified as a statue, crystallised in a dreary form for such a long time that I familiarised with it, settled down in it, so much it became my normality. I felt like my heart built a stone-hard armour around itself, but its core was still soft and beating and bleeding, awaiting a revolution. Meeting Andre made me come alive again, his whole being and affection made me bloom just like nature in spring, flowers' petals catching a glimpse of the warm sunlight for the first time after the long, bitter cold of the winter, green tendrils and vines wrapping around my limbs and climbing up my body as life started sprouting out of me again. He was the reason I felt alive again.

I was putting on a clean tank top and shorts when Frida circled my legs, turning her cute head to intently look at me like she wanted me to follow her. "What is it you want, cutie? Food?" I heard Andre chuckling at my baby-talk while he was in the bathroom, quickly cleaning and refilling the bathtub. I popped my head into the room as he was undoing his trousers. "I'll feed her and be right back to wipe away my masterpiece, big man."

"I feel bad that I have to wash it off." he pouted his lips, a cute expression on his face melting my heart. Soon enough I was the one sitting on the lid of the toilet, sponge in my hand to wipe off every trace of the acrylic with ginger motions, the water and soft foam quickly changing colour. I could see goosebumps emerging on his skin once in a while, shoulders stiffen and breath heavy, arms falling on his lap in the attempt to hide his excitement. "Sorry about this." his voice was a mix of nervousness and arousal.

"Sorry about what?" he tilted his head, making me snort slightly. "It's nothing to be sorry about, stop worrying."

"I'm just sorry you can't-"

"Shh," I cut him off, his eyes finally meeting mine. "Just because I can't, it doesn't mean you can't either. If you were hungry but I wasn't, wouldn't you eat something?" I arched an eyebrow, his mouth ajar as he pondered my words, visibly turned on and surprised. I bit and kissed on his lip, then sat on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor so I was facing him, an arm leaning against the edge of the tub. "Go on, let me see how you get off." I saw his eyes turn darker with my words, his fingers reaching mine, the other hand pushing his hair back as he was relaxing his body in the warm water, smirking.

"You're just incredible." I chuckled, teeth sinking in my bottom lip as I saw his hand going down his chest and abs, his eyes closing in pleasure when he reached his shaft. Soft wet sounds filled the air, his movements creating little waves in the water's surface as he was panting, cheeks flushed.

"Need help by any chance?" he looked at me with half-lidded eyes.

"What was it you said? «No touching»," he smirked, reaching to cup my face as a couple of warm trickles of water flowed down my neck. His thumb rubbed my cheek and traced my lips as I opened my mouth slightly, taking in his long finger and sucking on it, his moans growing louder, hand more restless. "I'm not as mean as you, though." my mouth left his finger with a soft pop.

"Are you saying I'm mean?" my hand grazed his knee, then dipped in the hot water to move towards his inner thigh as a grunt left his lips, hand still pleasuring himself.

"You can be sometimes... like when you tease me." he sped up his movements with a smirk on his face, eyes closing as if he was remembering something.

"So you're telling me you don't like it?" my tone was innocent as my fingernails dug on his thigh making him gasp and arch his back off the bathtub's surface, eyes so dark it seemed like his pupils were totally dilated.

"That's not what I said." his words were interrupted by small whimpers and I could tell he was coming to his peak.

"Then you like it when I'm mean?" I tilted my head, his low chuckle filling the room as he nodded. I dragged my fingers across his thigh just enough to know it would leave a mark for quite a few minutes, hearing him hiss as he lifted his hips against his hand. His eyebrows furrowed a little, mouth agape, the only readable expressions on his face being pleasure and desire to release the pressure. "Did you like this?" he sat up, reaching for my face to kiss me eagerly.

"I loved it." he whispered it in my mouth as if it was a secret only I could know about. "You can do anything you want with me." Hearing those words filled my heart with delight, the trust and intimacy in his disinhibited words making me feel mighty though I barely even touched him. Foreheads against each other's, he moaned louder, my hand massaging and grabbing the thigh I just scratched as he climaxed. I found myself panting, intoxicated and turned on by every little movement of his, the way his tongue rapidly licked his lips, the quick rise and fall of his chest moving the water around it, his expression weary and relaxed as he was coming down from his euphoric high. "Thoughts?" our foreheads parted, half-lidded green eyes staring at mine.

"Many." I laughed, pressing my lips against his. A bunch of minutes later we were laying in bed, his arm slipping under my neck as I kissed the tip of his nose and played with his damp hair, his soft hand caressing my skin and cuddling me to sleep.

* * *

"I'll be back as soon as I can, be careful." his big hand was on the small of my back as he moved my chin up to stare into my eyes.

"You're the one going out, you be careful love." I smiled, standing on my tiptoes to kiss him sweetly just before he headed out of the door. He decided to use part of his lunch break to go pack a few things in his apartment and eat while working in case he would have come back home later than he planned. As soon as the door closed I noticed how silent and empty my house fell without him in it; it was almost deafening, unpleasant and it tasted like those boring quarantine days, the low hum of the fridge, honking of horns and fast cars gliding on the asphalt suddenly becoming really loud, the house nothing but an empty, hollow vessel. I leaned with my hands on the kitchen counter, smiling as I thought that Andre preferred my tiny apartment in a kind of shabby neighbourhood to the huge, light engulfed flat with a rooftop view. I looked out the window, the sun shining on my face as I smiled at the man unlocking his car, glancing and waving up at me just before getting in the driver's seat. Frida jumped on the windowsill, purring against my chin. "Mhm, he's coming back soon, don't worry."

I decided to call my sister; it wasn't the first time we hadn't video-called for a few days being busy with exams and life, but I was really missing her.

"Well hello stranger, it's been a while, hasn't it?" her happy, sarcastic tone made me feel at home though I could sense some bitterness in it. Sure, we texted a little, but I do recognise how important it is to spend time with relatives while being so far away for such a long time.

"I missed you too little sister." we laughed, any trace of tension swept away.

"Why are you smiling so much?" I was once again shocked by how easily the people closest to me could read me.

"I'm not? I'm just happy to see you." I furrowed my eyebrows in the attempt to fake it a little, though I was dying to tell her all the updates.

"You're hiding something... Come on, just say it." she was excited about it, as if it concerned her own self.

"Well... A certain somebody might be headed to his apartment to pack a few things and come back here."

"Is he moving in?" she squealed as soon as I nodded, laughing and clapping her hands excitedly. "Wait, what will happen when you come back here?"

"Long distance relationship, I guess?"


	39. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! I've thought about it a lot and I've decided to give Y/n a proper name, so I'm pleased to introduce to you all Alice. I hope it's not going to create confusion in anyone's head, I just felt like it was right. :)
> 
> I want to thank you all again for still being here and reading what started as a weird, surprising experiment to me but turned out to be pretty funny and quite important, at least in my head.
> 
> I hope you're all doing great and are having an amazing day/night.
> 
> Much love, a 🖤

I looked around the room to distract myself not to give away what our real plans were, but she had a sad, disappointed expression on her face all of a sudden and it made me feel bad. "Okay, you have to promise you're not going to tell anyone yet."

"I swear." her face changed completely, the excitement she was feeling earlier back on her face.

"He's thinking of moving away with me." I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling as there was a loud cheering on the other end, her phone falling flat on her bed as I could see nothing but the ceiling of the room we once used to share. When she got it back in her hands she was smiling, so emotional she was almost tearing up.

"I can't even tell you how happy I am for you... How is everything going? Is he treating you well?" she spurted out question after question, her enthusiasm showing.

"Yes, absolutely." I couldn't shake off my smile as I was recalling the past days. "His mother is the sweetest, they made me feel at home last weekend. Andre and I talked a lot about the past and what we want for our future and I think we are on the same page. Plus we had a date last night. Art date. I painted on his back while he coloured what he just drew... Wait, I'll show you." I stood up from my comfy seat on the sofa and struggled to get the paper with just one hand, then sitting on his spot so I could show her exactly what his inspiration was and what he drew. "Can you see?" I waited for the camera to focus.

"When am I ever going to have someone like this in my life?" she was melting, sensing honest happiness in her voice.

"Look, Ale... I'm struggling to believe he's even real myself but there is hope, I promise." I chuckled as she told me those were the first hopeful words she heard me saying since my last big break up. And she was right, I never believed in love again before meeting Andre. He made me feel as safe and loved as nobody ever did before, and I felt it in my heart that this kind of love was the true, powerful, pure one. The one that would last forever in our hearts, the one you can't forget, not even if you move to the remotest part of the planet and surround yourself with a hundred things to do to keep your mind occupied, the one you find again in case you ever get lost, the one you fight for tooth and nail until your last breath, the one that makes you feel alive and optimistic even when you feel like there is no hope around you because the mere existence of the other person inspires you. The kind of love that never dies.

Ale and I talked until she had to get ready to hang out with a friend of hers, making her promise to say hi to the whole family and to tell them how much I was missing them. After tidying up the mess of art books that laid on the table from my morning study session, I started to bake a cinnamon cake to surprise Andre.

I was waiting for the sugar and egg yolks to become fluffy as I stirred the mix, just the smell of the cinnamon sitting in the bowl taking me back to my childhood, my grandmother's smile and loving ways stuck on my head. Oh, how I missed her. I was overwhelmed with memories, baking cakes or biscuits in her home as I sat on the kitchen counter or asked her to pick me up so I could see what was going on from her height, the endless minutes spent in front of the oven marvelling at how fast the cake rose, waiting for it to be ready so I could finally get a taste of whatever delicious sweet we just baked.

My hands were almost working automatically, mimicking each and every one of her motions just like I remembered, as I sifted flour and baking powder, alternatively pouring them in a bowl with milk, then adding vanilla and cinnamon. Once I joined the two mixes and combined them, I put it all in the oven, the amazing aroma wafting through the whole house.

I played some music while waiting for Andre to come back, preparing a big salad just like the ones he loves so much. As I checked the cake with a toothpick that came out clean and dry, I heard a knock on the door, the corners of my lips shooting up instantly.

"I'm coming!" I quickly took off the oven glove and threw the dishcloth over my shoulder as I hurried to the door, working the keys in the lock and opening the door to find him smiling at me, two big backpacks hanging from each of his shoulders. He was wearing a blue, short-sleeved turtleneck that showed his new tattoo, the sight of it making me smile, and white trousers, the pearl earring back on his earlobe accentuating his jaw and freshly trimmed beard as he moved his left hand on his front, carefully holding a red rose between his fingers. I flung my arms around his neck as he let the backpacks fall to the floor with a thump, right hand reaching for the back of my thigh to pick me up as we got lost in a passionate kiss.

"I thought you said you weren't going to miss me?" he was smirking against my mouth, his scent intoxicating me.

"Hm, your lie detector was right." I chuckled, getting lost in his beautiful features, failing to believe such an amazing and attractive man loved me so much he wanted to move in with me. "I'm in love with the outfit, the new look and the rose." I squeezed his face with my hand, trying to hide a little sudden shyness.

"Just that? Really? Not me?" his muffled words and flirty face made me laugh, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Wasn't I pretty clear about that already?" I pecked his lips, as he kissed me back eagerly, the hand holding the rose pulling me closer to him as best as he could.

"Jesus guys, you haven't seen each other in an hour and a half at the most." my eyes widened immediately as Andre was carefully letting go of me, my feet meeting the hardwood. I peeked behind Andre, my eyes recognising the man who handed me the package about a week earlier, my cheeks flushing instantly.

"Hello, John." I smiled and awkwardly waved at him, my happiness impossible to fade away.

"John? You told her my name?" he playfully punched Andre's shoulder, his panting suggesting he took the stairs.

"Bro, I told you we met Zoe the other day, she was the one to mention it." he gave him a side look, brows furrowed as I registered his annoyed tone for the first time.

"She's never going to shut up, is she?" he shook his head as we moved to let him in, another big bag seemingly filled with clothes falling to the floor as I closed the door. When I turned around John was facing me with a big smile on his face, mask brought down to his chin, an arm stretched out to shake my hand. "Hello to you too, Alice. Sorry if the first time we met I was a little elusive." his brown eyes were kind and honest, a piercing on the right side of his bottom lip.

"I totally get it now." I chuckled remembering the way he disappeared down the road that day. "It's nice to properly meet you, I've heard a lot about you."

"Really? I feel like we're already friends, this one right here hasn't shut up about you in more than two whole weeks." his thumb pointed at Andre, my eyes shooting to the side as he was running a hand through his hair, somewhat embarrassed.

"You must already be tired of me then." I joked, pacing towards Andre to stand on my tiptoes and place a kiss on his cheek. "Make yourself at home, John." I snaked my arm around Andre's back, rubbing it slowly to try and reassure him that there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

"Thank you! The only thing he didn't tell me is that you're basically a pastry chef." he glanced at my cake on the stove.

"I wish, my grandmother was just a great chef in general, I learned a lot from her." I smiled, my heart feeling warm and fuzzy because of the memories and the compliments.

"It smells amazing." Andre placed a kiss on top of my head, his hand on my shoulder squeezing me towards his body as I was looking at the rose he got me. "Jianyu says hi." he whispered in my ear, as I smiled up at him.

"Absolutely, I'm so hungry now." he stepped closer to the sweet, bending down to take in the smell.

"Would you like to stay for lunch? I made one of the big salads Andre loves, and of course we can have the cake later." he turned to me with a smile on his face, then glanced at Andre, slightly furrowing his eyebrows as I struggled to understand what his answer was going to be.

"I really like her, she's the first one I approve." I chuckled as I looked at the man standing next to me, a grin stuck on his face. "Where's the cat?" John was glancing around the room, crouching down to see if Frida was on one of the chairs around the table.

"She gets scared whenever she notices strangers, let's see if she's where I think she is." I quickly placed the rose in a small vase on the windowsill, then searched for Frida, not finding her under the usual dresser, but on my bed instead. "She's not as scared as I thought." John bent down for her to acknowledge him, saying cute words as she was cuddled in my arms.

"And she's not the only cat in here." both me and John glanced at Andre as my eyes went big realising what he was hinting at.

"Did you adopt another?" John's eyes were on me, confused when he saw the expression on my face. "What?"

"I'll leave the explanations to the big man right here." Andre was speechless, unable to say a word, the corner of his lips quivering.

"Ew Andre, nobody cares about your weird kinks, keep it to yourself. Does he call you «kitten»?" I shook my head and laughed hard at John's words, feeling embarrassed but also happy to be getting to know someone who managed to be so funny after all he went through, his strength shining through the way he approached any subject and person.

We had our lunch, chit-chatting and getting to know each other a little bit better. I found out we shared a common passion for a few musicians as we talked about only that for at least 5 minutes, and that we both liked plants very much. Soon Andre had to go back to work, so we tried to be silent as we were munching our lunch, the sound of fingers typing fast on the keyboard filling the air. After washing the dishes we gave him some space, going out on the small balcony, the sun shining on our fair complexions. His kind, brown eyes were golden in the sunshine, his hair and beard as red and lustrous as fire, glistening even more in the light, freckles sprinkled all along his skin.

"This neighbourhood seems nice." he nodded as he glanced around and down the main roads.

"Does it? Really?" I frowned, joking.

"I mean," he chuckled. "I've surely seen much worse, but you do have a point." we laughed, his eyes scanning me.

"I have mixed feelings about it. I enjoy it because it's welcoming me during this adventure, but it has also felt like a prison in the last months." he gave me a comforting smile, then fell silent for a couple of minutes.

"I meant what I said earlier, I really like you. He told me about all the people he got close to, I even met a few, but I could tell from thousands of miles away they weren't made for each other." he ran a hand through his quiff, staring in the distance. "Fuck, I even told some of them right in their faces." he was amused by his memories as I thought about how bad I'd feel if I were in their shoes; yet, the bluntness and honesty of his words made me snort lightly. He reached for his pocket, grabbing a cigarette and a lighter, offering me one as I shook my head. "It's gonna be hard but I think he's in really good hands." he smiled at me, the cigarette between his lips lighting up and matching his hair.

"Thank you, I really appreciate your words." I paused, squinting my eyes as the sunlight was blinding me. "I'm just sorry I'll steal him away from you."

"It's about time, I can't stand him anymore." he laughed midsentence, giving away the fact that he was only joking. "I can't even imagine how much I'll miss him, we've been together for as long as I can remember."

"Hey, no need to tear up now." I slightly elbowed his arm, hearing him chuckle lightly. "He'll come back often I think, he loves you and Solange way too much. It's times like this I wish the continents were much closer. Just a few days ago I would have preferred reapplying for a visa and staying in this shit country and away from my family just for him, I was shocked to hear he wanted to move away with me."

"Me too, he told me before he told his own mother." I couldn't help but smile thinking that Andre's feelings were just as strong as mine, that he probably mentioned moving away with me before he even confessed his feelings to me, my heart beating fast in my chest. "I was surprised and thought he was diving in it too fast and without thinking. I've never seen him this way but it makes sense now and I'm so happy for you both." he blew some smoke upwards, grinning at me right after.

"Thank you again." I couldn't stop smiling at how genuine his words were towards us. "How are things with you?"

"Had a difficult time last weekend because of the news." I pursed my lips, feeling truly sad for what he was going through.

"I'm sorry, I can't even imagine what that feels like. I was so mad when I heard about it... They're inhumane, I can't believe they're still so bigoted and ignorant." I found myself shaking my head in disbelief.

"You tell me. Luckily my girlfriend was there to cheer me up." he smiled, probably not wanting to talk about things that upset him. He reached for his phone to unlock it, a picture of him adorably kissing her cheek as homescreen. She had beautiful long hair, black with a strand dyed pink, her big eyes framed by heavy makeup, a traditional Indian ring to her nose. "This is Kala."

"You make such a cute couple." he snickered at my happy tone. "We should double date sometime soon."

"Is that still a thing during a pandemic?" his playful words never failed to make me smile.

"You're right, so 2019. We should double date on Skype or like... Double date but 6 feet away from each other." he laughed, his golden irises disappearing as he squinted his eyes. A few minutes later I felt Andre's hands on my hips, sliding on my front to lock together as he placed a kiss on my shoulder.

"What are two of my favourite people talking about?" I could hear from the tone of his voice how happy and relaxed he was.

"Kitten kinks and other weird things you like in bed." we laughed as Andre let out an annoyed noise, probably rolling his eyes.

"Not funny." About an hour later John left to go pick up Kala from work as he promised we'd see each other again soon, leaving us to tidy our now shared closet, and to enjoy the rest of the afternoon and evening cuddled into each other, watching a movie we didn't quite follow between tickles, a quick pillow fight, snacks and kisses.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello beautiful souls, this is the first time I turn the impossible scenarios I make up in my mind before sleeping into something more, so feedback is really important to me. I'd love to know what you all think about the story and please remember I'm always open to suggestions.
> 
> Important: please never stop supporting the black lives matter movement, keep signing petitions, spreading awareness, speaking out about what's happening around the world and donate if you can! It's the only way we can try and change things up.  
> Here's a carrd gathering a few other links for you to help and stay informed:  
> https://jlactivism.carrd.co/
> 
> Stay hydrated and safe, keep positive during these hard times, reach out if you're struggling and protect those who are discriminated.  
> Also: stay simping on these hot men we call SpecOps ;)


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